Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2023 19:49:15 GMT -5
"Given your brothers condition, there is a strong possibility that he may never wake up again." Calm and collected, the doctor ushered us to his bed side. Both eyes were swollen shut and gauze had been wrapped around the sides of his face. His bottom lip had been split down the middle and a large gash was being bound together with glue and stitches. He looked nothing like he had the night before, he looked like the monster he was.
"What does that mean? Should I- Should we consider taking him off life support?" Ryvinn's voice was shaken with worry but not for the reasons it should be. She had learned to be clam in the highest pressure situations such as this one. She wouldn't be the dead give away after almost blowing things before.
"Well," the doctors voice came out more as a sigh, "We can keep him on for the next couple of days and see what happens. As of this current moment in time he can't breath on his own. We won't know everything until he wakes up, if that happens."
Ryvinn stepped forward by this point while I stayed back away, my arms rested across my chest. I had no remorse for the man in the bed so I knew it was best to stay behind by sister and let her do most of the talking. "Does he have any brain function? Can you tell at all?"
"Minimal, these next couple of days are crucial in knowing whether he will recover, or if it might be time to-"
"Thank you, may we have a moment alone?"
"Are you a monster Brooke?"
The overall ambiance of the room was dark although light poured in from outside a large window. Red painted walls and crystal lights made up the backdrop as a single chair sat in the middle of the room. The crushed red velvet fabric of the chair glistened in the sunlight and I sat atop the fabric with one leg in the chair, the other on the ground and facing away from the camera.
"Few know what it's like to be called a monster and meaning be put behind the word. I suppose it depends on the person who calls you a monster as to if it really holds any meaning. You seemed to have somewhat of a hard time with being called one, no?" I took on a mono-tone with a shake of my head, "I suppose that's the difference between people who are made into monsters and those who were born one. You see Brooke, you can pretend someone took away your common fear and replaced it with an understanding of fear, a way to as you say embrace fear, but really all that was given to you was a coping mechanism to stop you from breaking down every time you felt scared. Instead of shaking in a corner or crying for the monster in the mirror you were taught to shut up and suck it up. Obviously, fear wasn't your problem in your last match with Alexandra, your lack of talent was." The corner of my mouth widens to show a pair of white sharp teeth. "In essence, I don't believe you when you say you've embraced fear, I believe you pretend you no longer posses the ability to fear and you try to push it down so far that it only lives in your soul. Tell me, do you still second guess yourself? Do you still worry? You teeter on being what someone has claimed you are and who you actually are. You pretend to no longer fear anything thanks to your sire, the person who took your pain away- or at the very least suppressed it. You pretend to be a monster while simultaneously being afraid of being called one."
I hold up a locket, it's red and seemingly made of a thick glass as it glows under the sunlight. "Fear is a driving factor, fear is what keeps animals alive, without fear you have no direction no self-preservation, and if you deny the fear you feel the gut wrenching feeling that tells you to turn back before it's to late, you lack survival instincts~ this is very important to have Brooke. It's a common misconception that the very essence of fear is a terrible thing to have when in all reality it's very important to have. Perhaps had you actually "embraced" your fear you wouldn't have been so misguided in your match and lost a championship to replace the pervious one you held that no longer exists. Perhaps if you listened to your fear your body would have sensed danger and done something to stop the outcome. Or, perhaps fear isn't your problem, your ability is." I drop the locket, it shatters on impact. "Instead of teaching you essentially how to be a monster, your "mentor" should be teaching you how to wrestle."
A shadow moves slowly across the window, the room darkening. "Don't worry Brooke, you're no monster, you're just a confused child following around the devil hoping she'll protect you. You talked so highly and fell so fair at Revival, safe to say Synn didn't prepare you for anything, only to not sense when you are in danger." Deep maroon eye slits glow from the dark and a sharp Cheshire smile twinkles like a midnight star, "Real monsters are actually scary. They growl and snarl and send chills down your spine when they speak, you couldn't scare a mouse. Real monsters are viscous. They have sharp teeth to rip and tear and claws to dig and eviscerate, you were the one to bleed. Real monsters have no remorse for their actions, and win or lose I'm going to show you how to be a monster."
Ryvinn let out an elongated sigh. "I guess we wait a couple of days and see how this plays out." She pauses briefly with a glace at the man laying in the bed. "If he doesn't show signs in a couple of days we pull the plug and donate his organs. If he wakes up I guess we'll figure out what to do then."
I sat in the corner of the room, looking on at the wires and tubes entering and exiting the body on the bed. He wasn't going to wake up, I was sure of it. I knew I should be in some sort of distress, feel some type of remorse, but all I could feel was accomplishment. Ryvinn walked around me and placed her hands on my shoulders. "I have little faith in these little town doctors. I never think they know what their doing. After this is done, we need to talk about what's next D." My hand wondered over to Ryvinn's hand as we now both looked on at the body. "I know."
The room once again was lit with natural light from outside as the shadow finally passed. "The demon building the monster, Synn. The delusion of face paint provides you with the confidence to be a champion while that little girl you push out provides the drive to be one. Funny, you're now the face of this OCW but instead of a match worthy of your talent you were given two Rise roster nobodies. Of course, I'm sure this is due to your failed partner Brooke and has absolutely nothing to do with your own ability. Afterall, you won your championship while your mentoring of Brooke caused her to lose hers. Your manipulation is top notch it would seem, Brooke absolutely licks the ground you walk on but your actual mentoring seems to be subpar at best."
A bright golden coin shines between my two figures and causing a glare when flicked in the air. "Synn and Juniper are two sides of the same coin." I catch the coin in the palm of my hand. "You can't have one and not the other yet you pretend she doesn't exist. The shy, timid, anxiety-riddled loner from the middle of nowhere is no longer in control? Oh no, she is very much in control because you're scared of being her. You hide your face behind paint to forget her, so when you look in the mirror you look upon a face that doesn't make your skin crawl. You're scared to be her because it's obvious you couldn't change her. Strange how a little makeup and some hair dye can give us confidence and change us, yet you can't cover up the person under the costume. Every match is like Halloween to you Synn, it is the only time you're able to dress up as the person you want to be but not the person you are. You can camouflage the pathetic, push it down, but you can't remove it when you hide it. No wonder Brooke is failing so miserably, you can't even teach yourself how to be the demon you claim to be, you can only play pretend."
From behind my back, I pull a mask and place it on my face. My voice is muffled, eyes barely visible behind small slits, a demon face covers my own. "I've hid behind masks my life as well. I've been what society has told me a I should be although that's not who I am. I've played a part, pretended, lied in order to be someone I thought would be a better version of who I was. I never really changed though, it was simply a mask I thought I needed in order to survive. You put this mask on to survive in this industry. Isn't it funny that the very mask you've used to pretend to be strong is the same mask that will undoubtedly be your down fall? If you can't make Juniper, the weakest version of you, strong how do you expect Brooke to be any better? Ahh, so that's it." I pulled the mask up and lean closer. "Brooke is Juniper personified for you to manipulate and change to whatever desire you have. Oh good show, I expect this to end so well for you both."
Three days had past, no change in the mans condition while we sat bed side watching his chest rise and fall. Ryvinn held his hand tightly in the palm of her own as the monitors beeped above her. I could feel absolutely nothing by this point, I wanted this to be over so we could move on. I could feel him still here watching over me like the grim reaper as Ryvinn prayed for him.
"Unfortunately, after today's tests it does appear your brother is brain dead. His recovery is highly unlikely at this point." A line that this doctor had seemingly delivered a million times it seemed. I sat stoned face in the corner of the room while Ryvinn allowed tears to fall for the man. "No, no more treatment." She said under a hushed tone. "Do you know if your brother was an organ donor?" I shuffled in my seat, a line I had heard once before but not with such excitement. "Yes, we'll sign the paper work." Ryvinn hadn't missed a beat nor had the doctor. Before the body was even cold the two had talked out and signed all the paperwork needed for this man to save other lives.
The process was explained to us and though neither of us cared we showed interest. The nurse began turning machines off and closed the blinds of the room as per our request. Before she left the room, we asked one more favor of the young blonde girl, "Leave the monitor on." She nodded understandably, everyone has their own way of grieving. The machine produced that all too familiar noise, the one that was followed by a flat line. Before the line could make its way across the screen the room was once again full of bodies rushing to preserve the organs that could be of use to others. Ryivnn and I quietly and quickly exited the room.
"Nox and I have been long time partners, we understand each other on a deeper level than just being friends or even siblings. We grew up taking care of each other, learning and knowing each others strengths and weaknesses. We've seen each other at our lowest while also being there for our greatest accomplishments. Mainly, the difference between us and the both of you is while we work well together, we also don't need each other in order to succeed. Brooke seems to be unable to stand on her own, she has to mention the great Synn in order to leach off her success. No one wants to mess with the pet of a champion, Brooke feels as though she is protected, she's sadly mistaken. As for Synn, you can hide behind your façade but when you go back to your hotel room and wash the paint off can you look yourself in the mirror and proudly proclaim that the weakest part of you is truly gone? Or, will you look upon something you truly fear, weakness." I pull a small mirror from behind my back and hold it up as I lean on the arm of the chair. "Both of you claim to embrace fear while running from it. The reflection you cast reminds both of you that you aren't who you want to be. Nox and I know what we are and who we are we don't need to find a demon or monster within us. We don't require the other to be whole. At Anarchy, it won't be fear you both need to embrace, it will be loss."
Outside of the hospital we stood, a cigarette in my hand and a coffee in Ryvinn's. Ryvinn was a good girl, she knew what she wanted and worked hard for it. However, I held her back in ways due to my impulsive nature. "This is the second time D, you can't keep doing this because if you do one day you are going to get caught." I could hear the pain in Ryvinn's voice. She wanted to leave but something kept her at my side, something caused the pain of leaving to be more than the current pain I was putting her through. "I know."
With a shake of her head, Ryvinn stepped off the sidewalk and began walking toward the parking lot, providing me with a cue to follow. I dropped my cigarette and started walking toward my little sister stopping next to her at her car. "Be the monster but learn to control it."
That was years ago but her words stuck with me. I've killed two strangers in my life due to my impulsive nature, my anger getting the best of me. I've done many things not to be proud of but now my hope is a fresh start in a place seemingly meant for individuals like me.