Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2023 19:59:32 GMT -5
What is perhaps the safest town in the entirety of the United States … Lewiston, Maine has become the epicenter for what will likely go down as one of the most bizarre group interactions in history. This of course was the hometown of Martin Pinklethorn, better known to the OCW as Skittlez. It is here on Clarke Street that he still lives with his parents, occupying the garage
Maybe it was drawn straws, or maybe it was seniority, but for whatever reason, Hazel Harper was tasked with the unenviable job of traveling all the way here to obtain our first glimpse into the life and career of a freshly signed Skittlez. After ringing the doorbell and having a brief conversation with Mr. Pinklethorn, Hazel learns that who she is looking for is in the garage. The interviewer heads over toward the area, cameraman close behind. Skittlez appears fully ready for her as he opens the garage door with the remote and stands there crossing his arms over his chest gangsta style, making weird … supposed gang signs with his fingers and ultimately just trying to look tough.
Skittlez: Yo yo Miss Thang … da crib is rizzle tru da fizzle.
Hazel has no idea what was just said to her, but she approaches to introduce herself.
Hazel: Hi there … I’m Hazel Harper … with OCW … we just wanted to …
An ecstatic Skittlez interrupts her, as if he already was expecting her despite OCW brass never officially setting this up with him.
Skittlez: Baby gurl … I already knows why you come to da bomb diggity. And yo, I been sayin I should be on cribs, word is bond!
Hazel is very confused and is about to question what the hell the new talent was referring to just as a white van screeches into the driveway in front of the garage and immediately people jump out. There are two cameramen and two younger men who are dressed in expensive street clothes and carry microphones with them. They immediately call out to Skittlez.
“Let the games begin!”
Hazel is almost in shock as she has no idea what is going on and the two charismatic men quickly bombard the interview and take over with their presence. One of their cameramen begins filming and one of the men immediately gets in front of the camera and begins doing some kind of introduction.
“It’s ya boy TheFlex694 … and here we are at OTV Cribs where we are at the home of rapper/wrestler Skittlez for an exclusive tour of DA CRIB!”
The other man then gets in front of the camera to also introduce himself to the viewing audience.
“Yo PhatalPhantom here and this it gonna be lit! Let’s get right down to the action. OTV CRIBS BABY!”
The plug of course was OTV Cribs … as in Outcast Television … hence associated with Outcast Championship Wrestling. Hazel still stands there confused and tries to interject.
Hazel: Uhhhh, there isn’t …
She is largely ignored as the two colorful personalities dominate the conversation and quickly speak over her as they get Skittlez hyped up.
Skittlez: Yo home slice, for real for real, dis is my dream, dawg!
TheFlex694: Word. So yo, let’s get the grand tour my dude. Where does the magic happen?
Skittlez is more than happy to show the two men around. In his garage dwelling was his bed, drawers, a high definition television, some magazines and games, a stereo and various CD’s and in the far corner of the room was his prized possession, a mixer that was complete with turntables, mics and high quality headsets.
Skittlez: Dis right here is where I drop the sickest beats. And one day Imma be killin’ it when the world finally hears my debut album.
PhatalPhantom: So you gon’ let us hear a track or what, guy?
Skittlez seems to hesitate on this one for a moment as he counters the suggestion.
Skittlez: Yo Ionno … I was kinda saving my rhymes for a promo …
He thinks about it a bit more and seems to have an epiphany.
Skittlez: Hold up … if I put this on OTV … it’s like the same thing … oh hell yes, dawg! Imma show ya’ll dat fire!
The two men seem very enthusiastic. Once again Hazel tries to interject but is unable to get the attention of the hyped up rapper. Skittlez turns on his sound system and sets up the mixer. As the beats begin, it is quite clear he needed to fix his volume control as the vibrations from the beat reverberated throughout the garage and the attached house. After a few moments, his mother pushes open the door leading from the house and she isn’t happy.
Mrs. Pinklethorn: Martin! How many times do I have to tell you to keep it down with that hip hip hippity nonsense!
Skittlez: Dammit mom! Don’t use my government name! I told you, when I am in da studio, I am the legendary lyricist, the hip hop head honcho … Skittlez!
His mother doesn’t seem impressed as she narrows her eyes at her son.
Mrs. Pinklethorn: Swearing at your mother?! We raised you better. I have a good mind to put a bar of soap in your filthy mouth!
The two visitors laugh at what is happening, filming all of it. Hazel is still just kind of off to the side and Skittlez doesn’t realize he’s becoming a joke on camera as he apologizes to his mother who finally leaves once he gets the sound under control.
Skittlez: My bad … aight let’s drop dat beat now …
The beat begins to loop and the moment it does this awkward, goofy whiteboy seems to transform as his focus occupies only the beat, the music, his vibe. Everything else seems to fade away. The two visitors continue filming as Skittlez now begins his freestyle regarding his debut match.
“Yo … yo … yo … Outcast, it’s what I’ve always been
Outlast, so I can rise again.
Outcast, it’s what I’ve always been
Outlast, so I can rise again.
Debuting on RISE to survive a battle of three
Homie Imma thrive, this is my DESTINY
You won’t get the besta me, can’t hang wit the resta me
Roar of the crowd when I win, hittin me like ecstasy
Shattered your identity while keeping my integrity
When dealing with my enemies I always got the recipe
To dismantling your legacy for this I have no empathy.
Now Angelita, mama cita we can share a margarita
Lil shawty I don’t mean ta, but Imma haveta beat ya
You like a four foot tall dream, Imma be real and speak it
But in da middle of dat ring you don’t belong, it’s no secret.
No hard feelings, against either one of you ladies
I like you both, but you’re gonna need to take these
They’re called L’s and the luck of the draw has made me
Play schemes and whatever will elevate me
Daydreams, and the quest for a better life
I play deep, leave all the rest far behind
While I find my glory on RISE.
Outcast, it’s what I’ve always been
Outlast, so I can rise again.
Outcast, it’s what I’ve always been
Outlast, so I can rise again.”
Skittlez finishes his rhyme and notices that Hazel was quite into his performance. Meanwhile, TheFlex694 and PhatalPhantom were visibly laughing. Now having the footage they desired, the two men pack their things and head out. Skittlez is a bit confused at this.
PhatalPhantom: This is gold … and his mom even made it better, hahaha!
TheFlex694: Bro, views are gonna go through the ROOF!
The two men take off in the van to leave Skittlez with Hazel who had maintained her integrity to complete this interview despite the interruption.
Skittlez: Why’d they bounce like dat?
Finally Hazel is able to garner Skittlez’ attention as she delivers the bad news.
Hazel: There is no such thing as OTV Cribs … Those guys did not represent OCW at all.
Skittlez is flabbergasted as he genuinely believed what they were selling. As the realization hits, he pulls out his phone and begins searching. It doesn’t take long to find their stream which they had put out live and it already had hundreds of thousand of views.
Skittlez: It’s a youtube channel?! Awww man … what did I do?!
Hazel attempts to comfort the aspiring talent as he notices the title of their youtube entry.
“Wannabe White Rapper and Wrestler is Soooo Retarded”
He looks on in horror at the fact that they’d used him as a joke to garner attention for themselves. The two are overlaying it with commentary that is less than kind. However, the comments section is on fire and blowing up with VERY positive remarks.
“This boy got bars!”
“Yo, I don’t care what ya’ll say, this man can flow!”
“Fire … absolute fire.”
Maybe it was drawn straws, or maybe it was seniority, but for whatever reason, Hazel Harper was tasked with the unenviable job of traveling all the way here to obtain our first glimpse into the life and career of a freshly signed Skittlez. After ringing the doorbell and having a brief conversation with Mr. Pinklethorn, Hazel learns that who she is looking for is in the garage. The interviewer heads over toward the area, cameraman close behind. Skittlez appears fully ready for her as he opens the garage door with the remote and stands there crossing his arms over his chest gangsta style, making weird … supposed gang signs with his fingers and ultimately just trying to look tough.
Skittlez: Yo yo Miss Thang … da crib is rizzle tru da fizzle.
Hazel has no idea what was just said to her, but she approaches to introduce herself.
Hazel: Hi there … I’m Hazel Harper … with OCW … we just wanted to …
An ecstatic Skittlez interrupts her, as if he already was expecting her despite OCW brass never officially setting this up with him.
Skittlez: Baby gurl … I already knows why you come to da bomb diggity. And yo, I been sayin I should be on cribs, word is bond!
Hazel is very confused and is about to question what the hell the new talent was referring to just as a white van screeches into the driveway in front of the garage and immediately people jump out. There are two cameramen and two younger men who are dressed in expensive street clothes and carry microphones with them. They immediately call out to Skittlez.
“Let the games begin!”
Hazel is almost in shock as she has no idea what is going on and the two charismatic men quickly bombard the interview and take over with their presence. One of their cameramen begins filming and one of the men immediately gets in front of the camera and begins doing some kind of introduction.
“It’s ya boy TheFlex694 … and here we are at OTV Cribs where we are at the home of rapper/wrestler Skittlez for an exclusive tour of DA CRIB!”
The other man then gets in front of the camera to also introduce himself to the viewing audience.
“Yo PhatalPhantom here and this it gonna be lit! Let’s get right down to the action. OTV CRIBS BABY!”
The plug of course was OTV Cribs … as in Outcast Television … hence associated with Outcast Championship Wrestling. Hazel still stands there confused and tries to interject.
Hazel: Uhhhh, there isn’t …
She is largely ignored as the two colorful personalities dominate the conversation and quickly speak over her as they get Skittlez hyped up.
Skittlez: Yo home slice, for real for real, dis is my dream, dawg!
TheFlex694: Word. So yo, let’s get the grand tour my dude. Where does the magic happen?
Skittlez is more than happy to show the two men around. In his garage dwelling was his bed, drawers, a high definition television, some magazines and games, a stereo and various CD’s and in the far corner of the room was his prized possession, a mixer that was complete with turntables, mics and high quality headsets.
Skittlez: Dis right here is where I drop the sickest beats. And one day Imma be killin’ it when the world finally hears my debut album.
PhatalPhantom: So you gon’ let us hear a track or what, guy?
Skittlez seems to hesitate on this one for a moment as he counters the suggestion.
Skittlez: Yo Ionno … I was kinda saving my rhymes for a promo …
He thinks about it a bit more and seems to have an epiphany.
Skittlez: Hold up … if I put this on OTV … it’s like the same thing … oh hell yes, dawg! Imma show ya’ll dat fire!
The two men seem very enthusiastic. Once again Hazel tries to interject but is unable to get the attention of the hyped up rapper. Skittlez turns on his sound system and sets up the mixer. As the beats begin, it is quite clear he needed to fix his volume control as the vibrations from the beat reverberated throughout the garage and the attached house. After a few moments, his mother pushes open the door leading from the house and she isn’t happy.
Mrs. Pinklethorn: Martin! How many times do I have to tell you to keep it down with that hip hip hippity nonsense!
Skittlez: Dammit mom! Don’t use my government name! I told you, when I am in da studio, I am the legendary lyricist, the hip hop head honcho … Skittlez!
His mother doesn’t seem impressed as she narrows her eyes at her son.
Mrs. Pinklethorn: Swearing at your mother?! We raised you better. I have a good mind to put a bar of soap in your filthy mouth!
The two visitors laugh at what is happening, filming all of it. Hazel is still just kind of off to the side and Skittlez doesn’t realize he’s becoming a joke on camera as he apologizes to his mother who finally leaves once he gets the sound under control.
Skittlez: My bad … aight let’s drop dat beat now …
The beat begins to loop and the moment it does this awkward, goofy whiteboy seems to transform as his focus occupies only the beat, the music, his vibe. Everything else seems to fade away. The two visitors continue filming as Skittlez now begins his freestyle regarding his debut match.
“Yo … yo … yo … Outcast, it’s what I’ve always been
Outlast, so I can rise again.
Outcast, it’s what I’ve always been
Outlast, so I can rise again.
Debuting on RISE to survive a battle of three
Homie Imma thrive, this is my DESTINY
You won’t get the besta me, can’t hang wit the resta me
Roar of the crowd when I win, hittin me like ecstasy
Shattered your identity while keeping my integrity
When dealing with my enemies I always got the recipe
To dismantling your legacy for this I have no empathy.
Now Angelita, mama cita we can share a margarita
Lil shawty I don’t mean ta, but Imma haveta beat ya
You like a four foot tall dream, Imma be real and speak it
But in da middle of dat ring you don’t belong, it’s no secret.
No hard feelings, against either one of you ladies
I like you both, but you’re gonna need to take these
They’re called L’s and the luck of the draw has made me
Play schemes and whatever will elevate me
Daydreams, and the quest for a better life
I play deep, leave all the rest far behind
While I find my glory on RISE.
Outcast, it’s what I’ve always been
Outlast, so I can rise again.
Outcast, it’s what I’ve always been
Outlast, so I can rise again.”
Skittlez finishes his rhyme and notices that Hazel was quite into his performance. Meanwhile, TheFlex694 and PhatalPhantom were visibly laughing. Now having the footage they desired, the two men pack their things and head out. Skittlez is a bit confused at this.
PhatalPhantom: This is gold … and his mom even made it better, hahaha!
TheFlex694: Bro, views are gonna go through the ROOF!
The two men take off in the van to leave Skittlez with Hazel who had maintained her integrity to complete this interview despite the interruption.
Skittlez: Why’d they bounce like dat?
Finally Hazel is able to garner Skittlez’ attention as she delivers the bad news.
Hazel: There is no such thing as OTV Cribs … Those guys did not represent OCW at all.
Skittlez is flabbergasted as he genuinely believed what they were selling. As the realization hits, he pulls out his phone and begins searching. It doesn’t take long to find their stream which they had put out live and it already had hundreds of thousand of views.
Skittlez: It’s a youtube channel?! Awww man … what did I do?!
Hazel attempts to comfort the aspiring talent as he notices the title of their youtube entry.
“Wannabe White Rapper and Wrestler is Soooo Retarded”
He looks on in horror at the fact that they’d used him as a joke to garner attention for themselves. The two are overlaying it with commentary that is less than kind. However, the comments section is on fire and blowing up with VERY positive remarks.
“This boy got bars!”
“Yo, I don’t care what ya’ll say, this man can flow!”
“Fire … absolute fire.”