Post by โฎ๐๐๐๐๐โฎ on Jul 30, 2023 23:26:34 GMT -5
A beautiful blonde dressed in a skin tight black dress ending at just above the knee stumbles from the bar. Her blonde curls are a knotted mess from the night of partying too hard and her legs have forgotten how to leg properly. She falls to the ground in a pile of herself and attempts to remove the tangled mess of hair from her face in order to see but is unsuccessful and obviously annoyed because she lets out a loud grunt. Only steps behind her is a group of three men who have been following her for the majority of the night buying drinks and slipping their handy dandy date rape drugs in to them. They walk over to the blonde and try to get her to stand up but like before *Ed Sheeran Singing* her legs don't work like they used to before. Finally they decided to pull the girl up and over on their shoulders and start to walk away from the bar.
That girl isn't me. Thank god.
Busting out of the bar's backdoor I charged for one of the guys and gave him a good knee strike from behind. A sickening pop echoed in the alleyway behind the bar and the guy fell to his other knee with a yell. I stumbled back and with a beer hiccup crossed my arms over my chest trying not to stumble from my obvious intoxication. "You took my fucking quarters while I was trying to piss!" I say in a mighty voice, at least that's what I heard in my head. Instead, I think I might have stumbled on my words a bit because all three men were giving me this look like I spoke another language; drunkish. "I want my two quarters back." Hiccup.
The guy holding the girl looked down at his friend who stole my quarters and held out a hand. "I don't know what the fuck your talking about lady," the quarter stealer said and tried to put pressure on his leg that I just punt kicked into outer space. "I didn't take any quarters from anyone."
"The fucking pinball machine! You played my game while I was taking a piss trying to impress the drugged out bitch on his shoulder." Hiccup. "I want my quarters back, those were my last two!" One very loud burp.
All three guys took a look at me then looked at the soon to be warm sex doll on Mr.Tupe's shoulder before deciding to walk away. Not with my quarters. I picked up a bottle from the ground and smashed it against the wall of the bar making a makeshift knife out of it and shoved the guy with a bum knee into the wall. "I want my quarters!" Hiccup. "Crazy bitch!" From behind I felt a blow between my shoulder blades from the third guy. I hit the ground pretty hard then hit the wall harder when the same dude decided to kick me like a football in the ribs. Apparently my rib cage is stronger than this guy's friend's knee because there wasn't an audible noise made; or maybe he kicks like a bitch.
The guy pulled bum knee from the wall and started to walk away, obviously not calling the cops since their buddy is carrying an unconscious chick on his shoulder. I pulled myself up and leaned on the wall to get my balance again before running after the group this time with a large wooden 4x4 I found laying on the ground. Before anyone knew it we were all on the ground and that blonde was on top of me, her dress up to her hips and showing off the fact she decided not to wear underwear. I may or may not have tripped into their ankles with the 4x4 OR it may have been my plan all along to take out their legs and catch the damsel in the dress with my spine. Hitting someone from behind is so a clichรฉ.
"O.M.G! Brittney are you ok?!" A girl with black hair and a sparkly pink dress stumbled around the corner in white stripper heels and behind her was another blonde struggling to also walk in white stripper heels. I blew a piece of my hair out of my face then realized the boys in blue right behind the girls. Oh no, this was bad because those girls weren't carrying a drugged girl on their shoulders. "Oh thank god!!" The other blonde said while she tried to pull her friend up before removing her from my back. Burp. "Thank you so much!" The black haired girl had her arms around my neck squeezing a wee bit too hard. "For what?" I choked out while one of the pigs with the girls helped the blonde off my back in a not so gentle way. "For saving our girl, we saw her with those guys then turned around for like a second and then all the sudden she was gone. We were so worried because they kept bringing her drinks and she wasn't acting normal so we came outside to look for her but still couldn't find her. We called the cops and then~"
"I think you need to loosen the grip on her hun." One of the cops said seeing me with my eyes closed and drool streaming down the side of my mouth onto the girl's arm. I wasn't asleep, the world was just spinning and my mouth was doing that sweat thing it does before you vomit. She let go and I let out a snore before rolling over to my back and watching the guys getting cuffed from upside down. "HAHA! You fuckers better slap robbing on those shit heads records too because they took my fucking money!" I declared proudly because I single handedly not only stopped a girl from being on a missing poster but also because now I can report them for taking my quarters.
The two cops that walked up with the girls looked at each other then down at me. "Are you listening?! Ask me questions and write in your little note pads they took money from me. They robbed me!" One of the pigs started walking away with the other girls asking them questions while they stumbled. The pig that stayed with me was a complete idiot. "How much money was taken?" Hiccup. "50 cents."
"50 cents."
"50 cents."
"Ms, are you intoxicated?"
I looked up at the neon lit sign that read the bars name before flipping over to my belly. "Are you a moron?" I said with an eyebrow raised. Who comes to a fucking bar and doesn't get drunk? Was this his first day on the job? Why do I get the rookies. "Duh I'm intoxicated I'm in the ally of a fucking bar! Ask me a relevant question like how are you going to get my money back? That's a relevant question to this situation!" Judging eyes. I hate cops. "Helloooooooo!"
"Have a good rest of your night Ms. Here's some cash for you to get a cab home."
I took the cash with a smile and watched the cop walk off before pulling out three wallets I had pocketed while we were all laying on the ground. Drinks were on them and now I had plenty of money for the pinball machine.
After getting my fill at the bar, and by fill I mean drinking until the bar closed, I was back outside leaning against the brick wall of the bar and just like all badasses I had a lit cigarette in my mouth. Next to me also leaning on the wall was a steel baseball bat with no stupid writing or anything because that shits just stupid. "Damn, all you mother fuckers out here busting your balls to get near the championships and all I had to do was bust Jolie's balls a couple of times and here we are. Like Jolie said, I am slick and did get one over on her because instead of putting me in my place and banning me from the arena I got a match that is easily going to put me at the top of the list for the Elevate championship. I win. Checkmate." Burp. "By the way Jolie I'll shenan again just to bug you even after I win the Elevated championship at Ashes to Ashes because it's just fun. I was just fucking around under that hood and yea I wanted a championship match I just wanted to see if I could push you enough to get it without actually putting in more work than necessary. So thanks."
"Now for Diamond, what can I say except you're welcome for fixing that record of yours. If it wasn't for me you'd still have a big goose egg in that winning column. You're one for one and that's all thanks to me. What was your first loss again? Oh right, your shot at the Elevated championship. See, you already had your chance and you blew it sky high honey suckle. Kinda funny how you act like the type of girl to put out but didn't put out anything when it came to a championship match. Why the hell would anyone give you another shot at the championship when you didn't cut it to begin with. Oh right, right Jolie is in charge that's why.
You had your shot at the championship the very first show and you didnโt even bother promoting it now you want the championship? Are you actually going to put in some god damn effort or are you going to put all that on me? Most diamonds are made under pressure but you cracked so badly at Revival your new name should be humpty dumpty. Every rose has its thorns huh? Then who the fuck clipped yours because the only prick youโve given anyone so far was a splinter from your bat and it was in your hand from throwing a tantrum last week at Rise. Youโre a sad excuse for a rookie so how the hell do you expect to make it as a wrestler? Instead of showing off your pussy power at banks you should be training. You should be putting in some kinda effort. You should be doing something.โ
I grab the baseball bat off the wall and hold it up to look at it. โI donโt need to write something stupid on a bat, especially something as stupid as calling it a probe to make people think Iโm a threat. You can write whatever the hell you want to on that stupid bat of yours but they're just words. Whoโs been knocking people out? Causing match outcomes to possibly change because instead of words they take action and do something. ME. Iโve been up at bat hitting balls and running bases while youโve been sitting in the dugout dreaming of cleaning shit off your bat.โ Hiccup. โStrike one, you couldnโt win the championship at Revival. Strike two, I won your match for you at Rise. Strike three, Iโm ganna knock your ass OUT!โ I come down with the bat as hard and fast as I can eviscerating a watermelon that was laying just off camera. Juicy red watermelon pieces spray all over the wall and me making a sticky delicious mess.
โAnd when Iโm done with humpty dumpty Iโm coming for that strap.โ
That girl isn't me. Thank god.
Busting out of the bar's backdoor I charged for one of the guys and gave him a good knee strike from behind. A sickening pop echoed in the alleyway behind the bar and the guy fell to his other knee with a yell. I stumbled back and with a beer hiccup crossed my arms over my chest trying not to stumble from my obvious intoxication. "You took my fucking quarters while I was trying to piss!" I say in a mighty voice, at least that's what I heard in my head. Instead, I think I might have stumbled on my words a bit because all three men were giving me this look like I spoke another language; drunkish. "I want my two quarters back." Hiccup.
The guy holding the girl looked down at his friend who stole my quarters and held out a hand. "I don't know what the fuck your talking about lady," the quarter stealer said and tried to put pressure on his leg that I just punt kicked into outer space. "I didn't take any quarters from anyone."
"The fucking pinball machine! You played my game while I was taking a piss trying to impress the drugged out bitch on his shoulder." Hiccup. "I want my quarters back, those were my last two!" One very loud burp.
All three guys took a look at me then looked at the soon to be warm sex doll on Mr.Tupe's shoulder before deciding to walk away. Not with my quarters. I picked up a bottle from the ground and smashed it against the wall of the bar making a makeshift knife out of it and shoved the guy with a bum knee into the wall. "I want my quarters!" Hiccup. "Crazy bitch!" From behind I felt a blow between my shoulder blades from the third guy. I hit the ground pretty hard then hit the wall harder when the same dude decided to kick me like a football in the ribs. Apparently my rib cage is stronger than this guy's friend's knee because there wasn't an audible noise made; or maybe he kicks like a bitch.
The guy pulled bum knee from the wall and started to walk away, obviously not calling the cops since their buddy is carrying an unconscious chick on his shoulder. I pulled myself up and leaned on the wall to get my balance again before running after the group this time with a large wooden 4x4 I found laying on the ground. Before anyone knew it we were all on the ground and that blonde was on top of me, her dress up to her hips and showing off the fact she decided not to wear underwear. I may or may not have tripped into their ankles with the 4x4 OR it may have been my plan all along to take out their legs and catch the damsel in the dress with my spine. Hitting someone from behind is so a clichรฉ.
"O.M.G! Brittney are you ok?!" A girl with black hair and a sparkly pink dress stumbled around the corner in white stripper heels and behind her was another blonde struggling to also walk in white stripper heels. I blew a piece of my hair out of my face then realized the boys in blue right behind the girls. Oh no, this was bad because those girls weren't carrying a drugged girl on their shoulders. "Oh thank god!!" The other blonde said while she tried to pull her friend up before removing her from my back. Burp. "Thank you so much!" The black haired girl had her arms around my neck squeezing a wee bit too hard. "For what?" I choked out while one of the pigs with the girls helped the blonde off my back in a not so gentle way. "For saving our girl, we saw her with those guys then turned around for like a second and then all the sudden she was gone. We were so worried because they kept bringing her drinks and she wasn't acting normal so we came outside to look for her but still couldn't find her. We called the cops and then~"
"I think you need to loosen the grip on her hun." One of the cops said seeing me with my eyes closed and drool streaming down the side of my mouth onto the girl's arm. I wasn't asleep, the world was just spinning and my mouth was doing that sweat thing it does before you vomit. She let go and I let out a snore before rolling over to my back and watching the guys getting cuffed from upside down. "HAHA! You fuckers better slap robbing on those shit heads records too because they took my fucking money!" I declared proudly because I single handedly not only stopped a girl from being on a missing poster but also because now I can report them for taking my quarters.
The two cops that walked up with the girls looked at each other then down at me. "Are you listening?! Ask me questions and write in your little note pads they took money from me. They robbed me!" One of the pigs started walking away with the other girls asking them questions while they stumbled. The pig that stayed with me was a complete idiot. "How much money was taken?" Hiccup. "50 cents."
"50 cents."
"50 cents."
"Ms, are you intoxicated?"
I looked up at the neon lit sign that read the bars name before flipping over to my belly. "Are you a moron?" I said with an eyebrow raised. Who comes to a fucking bar and doesn't get drunk? Was this his first day on the job? Why do I get the rookies. "Duh I'm intoxicated I'm in the ally of a fucking bar! Ask me a relevant question like how are you going to get my money back? That's a relevant question to this situation!" Judging eyes. I hate cops. "Helloooooooo!"
"Have a good rest of your night Ms. Here's some cash for you to get a cab home."
I took the cash with a smile and watched the cop walk off before pulling out three wallets I had pocketed while we were all laying on the ground. Drinks were on them and now I had plenty of money for the pinball machine.
After getting my fill at the bar, and by fill I mean drinking until the bar closed, I was back outside leaning against the brick wall of the bar and just like all badasses I had a lit cigarette in my mouth. Next to me also leaning on the wall was a steel baseball bat with no stupid writing or anything because that shits just stupid. "Damn, all you mother fuckers out here busting your balls to get near the championships and all I had to do was bust Jolie's balls a couple of times and here we are. Like Jolie said, I am slick and did get one over on her because instead of putting me in my place and banning me from the arena I got a match that is easily going to put me at the top of the list for the Elevate championship. I win. Checkmate." Burp. "By the way Jolie I'll shenan again just to bug you even after I win the Elevated championship at Ashes to Ashes because it's just fun. I was just fucking around under that hood and yea I wanted a championship match I just wanted to see if I could push you enough to get it without actually putting in more work than necessary. So thanks."
"Now for Diamond, what can I say except you're welcome for fixing that record of yours. If it wasn't for me you'd still have a big goose egg in that winning column. You're one for one and that's all thanks to me. What was your first loss again? Oh right, your shot at the Elevated championship. See, you already had your chance and you blew it sky high honey suckle. Kinda funny how you act like the type of girl to put out but didn't put out anything when it came to a championship match. Why the hell would anyone give you another shot at the championship when you didn't cut it to begin with. Oh right, right Jolie is in charge that's why.
You had your shot at the championship the very first show and you didnโt even bother promoting it now you want the championship? Are you actually going to put in some god damn effort or are you going to put all that on me? Most diamonds are made under pressure but you cracked so badly at Revival your new name should be humpty dumpty. Every rose has its thorns huh? Then who the fuck clipped yours because the only prick youโve given anyone so far was a splinter from your bat and it was in your hand from throwing a tantrum last week at Rise. Youโre a sad excuse for a rookie so how the hell do you expect to make it as a wrestler? Instead of showing off your pussy power at banks you should be training. You should be putting in some kinda effort. You should be doing something.โ
I grab the baseball bat off the wall and hold it up to look at it. โI donโt need to write something stupid on a bat, especially something as stupid as calling it a probe to make people think Iโm a threat. You can write whatever the hell you want to on that stupid bat of yours but they're just words. Whoโs been knocking people out? Causing match outcomes to possibly change because instead of words they take action and do something. ME. Iโve been up at bat hitting balls and running bases while youโve been sitting in the dugout dreaming of cleaning shit off your bat.โ Hiccup. โStrike one, you couldnโt win the championship at Revival. Strike two, I won your match for you at Rise. Strike three, Iโm ganna knock your ass OUT!โ I come down with the bat as hard and fast as I can eviscerating a watermelon that was laying just off camera. Juicy red watermelon pieces spray all over the wall and me making a sticky delicious mess.
โAnd when Iโm done with humpty dumpty Iโm coming for that strap.โ
