Post by queenmyst on Aug 10, 2023 0:27:06 GMT -5
"I used to think that this game would always be too big for me, that it would be over my head, that the men would rule the roost and us girls would have to sit there as side pieces. I used to think that I was only an accessory to the champion, not that I could ever be one. Everyone wonders why I take my belt so seriously....when you feel like something is out of your reach, and you reach it, you want to protect it. Fiercely defend it. Now that I sit on top of the world, I never want to know what the bottom feels like again. I want to be an influence, a role model, Exhibit A when you think of success. When you think of the comeback story. Who woulda thunk it eight years ago, huh? Who woulda thunk that Jenny Myst would be the one with the belt while Chris Chaos sits on the sidelines, waiting for the coach to put him in the game. Back then, nobody paid attention to me. Now, they don't have a choice but to. Hell, I even pay more attention now. This has all been so overwhelming, but so exhilarating at the same time. A whirlwind of epic proportions. Truth be told, in some ways I'm still that scared little girl taking on the world all alone. In so many ways I am a grown woman, with her shit together, who has figured out that the only time fear wins is when you let it. This world is a crazy place, but sometimes, you've got to be crazier.
They used to call me crazy. The adopted girl from North Las Vegas who told the world she was going to be President one day. A girl who had the self confidence of a mouse but the personality of a lioness. I always wanted more, but never had the wherewithal to go and get it myself. I always relied on it being given to me, standing there with my hand out, waiting, hoping, hell even praying, for some generosity. I brought that mentality here with me. I came into this place with the same mentality. I was hoping that I could skate by with my looks like I always had. A smile, a bat of the eyes, a hair flip. It's not difficult to flirt your way into success when you look like me. My entire life, I knew how to get things the easy way, but always preferred the hard way. Something inside me wanted that sense of accomplishment, but something inside me was fighting it too.
There's that word again, fear.
I used to let fear control me. Now, the only thing I fear is how successful I truly can become here. The monster that scratches and claws her way out. I no longer fear failure, but fear that one of these days my success will become too much. When you've reached the top, the only place to go is down, right? Good thing for me is that I am nowhere near my peak yet. The summit is still miles away, and there is a lot of climbing left to do. I have finally become my own woman, have achieved my own success, and now I need to show the world that it wasn't just a fluke. Winning a title here isn't difficult, I mean, Alexandra Calaway holds the highest title on this show. You all saw how yellow she is while her brother was getting his organs rearranged.
Just. Stood. And. Watched.
Defending your title is the hardest part of being a champion. Sure, these titles are 'vacant' but Mandii and I were the final champs to ever grace the archives of the old OCW. We should have been transferred over like that circus act we call a World Champion, but its a team thing and Britlyn wants "diversity" and "equal opportunity" and all that crap.
When it comes to Mandii and I, there are no equals.
Spirit U probably feels like they are in over their heads, and Asylum knows they got lucky to be here on a fluke because Brooke Blakely can't get out of her own way. I know how failure feels, and I have Chris Chaos to thank for that as well. Three whole years I've been the emotional support animal, the therapy dog for a man whose success has been more than limited. Chris Chaos is nothing but Christmas decorations. Bright and shiny when on, but left up way too long, and eventually we are all just like "okay, get it, you looked good once but enough is enough." ROSE, same thing. They walk around like goddesses of extreme when I am 100 percent sure I have had periods harder than either of them. Lilith has never had a problem with me. In fact, she has been very cordial--even creepy-- towards me since I got here. I have always had to fake a smile and a laugh due to the affiliations that Chris had forced me into. Lilith and Sarah have never mattered much to me, and now I get to take out all of the frustrations of faking it for all these years. I get to open their eyes to the fact that they are nothing but the Down the Clown game at the OCW arcade. They thought they were making a statement when they took out those two hillbillies last Anarchy, but all they were doing was showing their hand. They can dish out a beating, sure, but they also showed that they don't like to receive one. The smallest bit of resistance and they go nuclear.....and why?
Because they know they aren't that good.
Tonight I get to knock them down a peg or two and hopefully, for their sake, they stay down. I have dealt with many "aggressive" bitches like Sarah and Lilith throughout my career. They think they are above everyone else, especially the other women here. You two bull-dykes think you've had it rough and now we all have to suffer because of it? Pssht. I've had to survive though things that would make you curl up in the fetal position and hide for the remainder of your miserable lives. You couldn't handle what I have had to handle. You're an 'extreme' joke. Sure, physical scars are one thing, but the mental and emotional turmoil I have had to endure though out my life and career would make even the biggest of men crumble. I am a monster now, eat your heart out SYNN, and this monster comes in the form of perfectly manicured nails, a little hair dye, and a C cup.
I said it a long time ago and I meant it. The secret to victory, is defeat.
R.O.S.E hasn't learned this yet, but then again they seem to be a little behind the curve. Neither one has a singles career worth a shit and now want to run roughshod over a roster that is just dipping its feet into the pool. These two will latch onto any sad sap who gives they two seconds of attention. The fact that both of you have so much "talent" but refuse to compete at the singles level is ridiculous. Just shows insecurity. Hell, I'd give you a shot at this Redemption belt any time you want it, either of you, but both of you are too busy hiding behind the other to ever be successful. You succeed as a team and you fail as a team, huh? Well, when you fail as a team on national television I'll be the first one there with a smile and an "I fucking told you so." Lilith, you don't matter to Sarah. You could have a singles career for the ages here, I saw your work at REVIVAL. She insists you don't take the collar off. You're just another tool in the shed. To me, you're just a tool.
Speaking of tools, what the hell is this 'asylum' thing? A lesbian and her gothic cosplay brother? You've had a modicum of success here and suddenly everyone is talking about how you can win this entire thing? Why? Because you beat an overrated champion and her chewtoy? Well, Nox....congrats. I mean, what else can I say? You've been here for less than a month and all you wanna talk about is gimmicks. Gimmick this, gimmick that. You get to team up with the Smallville extra who claims to be a vampire but looks more like an angry lesbian. What's he so angry about other than the fact that him being on a card bears no meaning to the quality of the show? Do you really like your odds here, Nox? Do you really think Zephyr Draven (corny name by the way--do better) is going to be your ace in the hole? I've been in the ring with Mandii, she's one tough bitch. I think you two underestimate just how much danger you're truly in. Being ignorant in the face of arrogance is a bitch, but make no mistake, I am THE bitch, and I am going to make the two of you wish you never developed the Y chromosome. Emasculation, table for two!
Wait, they're NOT the same sex?
I digress.
My entire life has been a trial run for this moment. At Anarchy I am going to establish my dominance, and show the world that Mandii and I shouldn't be taken lightly. Mandii and I are going to show you two "men" that a woman's worth is worth more than it's given credit for. We are going to show the entire world that we're more than just cute outfits and too many emoji's. Women are the strongest creatures on this planet. You're all here because of a vagina, and after Anarchy, you'll all be dead because of one.
Insert abortion joke here."
I used to watch the birds. I used to envy them, to be honest. The way they would be at peace all the time, hopping around all happy, without a care in the world. The way that they always looked happy.
I wanted to be happy.
But the thing that really spoke to me about the birds was the way they could just go away. If something bothered them, spooked them, upset them, or made them uncomfortable, they could just take off and fly away. A nearby tree, roof, anywhere. Just take off and go. The sparrows mostly. They would sing their songs, chirp to each other, and bounce around like the world wasn't a terrible place.
Sometimes I would sit and watch them for hours. Time didn't exist when I watched the birds. They didn't mind that I was there, either. They didn't mind very much. Sometimes I would go there, sitting on the park bench, and bring bread from home. I knew I would get a whipping for taking the bread, but I didn't care. Seeing the birds happy and hopping around was worth any bruises or welts that I would recieve. Often times, I would sit there with my legs crossed, wincing as I did from the aftermath of the previous nights activities....
Sometimes when he was doing it, I would think of the birds. It got me through it.
I would pick the pieces of bread apart. I had them designated differently for the different birds. Sparrows, Robins, Pigeons, even the crows. They all would come together to eat the bread, and somehow, they were the only real family I ever had. I would smile at them, and it made me feel good that they were, or so I told myself, smiling back at me.
Sometimes I would get up, feeling the warm liquid left over the night before shifting as I shifted, and I would go to leave. The birds would follow me. Hopping behind, asking me in their own special way for more food.
I could use the company anyway.
So I sat back down, wincing again. I still remember it.
Every once and a while a car would come by, the the birds would scatter. They would fly away, usually in mass, getting away from immediate danger until it was safe to come back. They would always return, though. They were the only living beings in my life who would leave and return.
I loved them for that.
Sometimes, when I couldn't go to the park or couldn't get my hands on the family bread supply, I would sit on the porch outside my North Las Vegas home and watch them. But these, they were different birds. Ominous birds. I loved them too, but they didn't need my help. Nor did they want it.
These were hawks. These birds would soar high, scanning then landscape below them. They didn't have fear, they WERE fear. The way the other animals scrambled when they were in the area, it was shocking to me. I could watch them almost as long as the happy birds, but eventually it would be too hard for me.
I didn't have their confidence, I wasn't a predator, I just lived with one.
These birds, like the happy birds, had the ability to fly away from anything they didn't like. I envied that. I was jealous. Somewhere, deep down, I hated them for it. I loved them and hated them at the same time. Why did they get the ability to just up and go, to a spot where nobody could catch them, whenever they wanted?
He is calling me again. I watch the hawk circle. He is about to come downstairs and pull me inside, and the hawk is about to grab the mouse, or bunny, or small dog....whatever it wanted, it would TAKE.
Whatever he wanted, he would TAKE.
I wanted to fly away, soar to the heavens........but I was stuck in this damn wicker chair in 100 degree heat.
I knew, right then, that I needed to consider myself a bird. I needed to get up, to fly away, to soar.
I heard footsteps, he was almost to the door.
I took off and ran. I heard the door open, I heard him shouting, but I kept going. I was soaring, I was getting away from what bothered me, I was free........
I pushed the muscles in my legs to work harder, to fly higher.
My tennis shoes hit the pavement for the umpteenth time when I heard the car engine behind me.
"I have to have to have my Queen status tested by two wanna be cheerleaders? These two are "cheerleaders"? If we're going to play pretend then hell, I'm Elton fucking John. These aren't cheerleaders, they're the Special Olympics Varsity Squad. Cheerleaders in wrestling are as irrelevant as Bolivia's space program. What the hell is there to even cheer for? You're both nothing more than a cliché gimmick because you aren't talented enough to do anything in a wrestling ring so you flip around and wave your arms to distract us from the fact that you're both an absolute fucking embarrassment.
2-4-6-8 you’re the girls that we all hate!
Cheerleading is as old of a profession as prostitution. Only one of them actually gets paid. I would respect both of you lightyears more if you were the whore squad instead. I am the highest paid female athlete in the game, and I earned that. You two simply aren't on this level and while we're at it......let me tell you why being a cheerleader in wrestling is a dumb fucking idea.
You ready? Here we go.
After some time experimenting in this gimmick you'll come to find it get stale quickly. The fans will hate it, your peers will hate it, and eventually management will hate it. You'll have no other redeeming qualities to fall back on so you'll both retire as forgotten mid-carders who fell between the cracks in the system and never surfaced for air. You'll eventually marry someone with an average job in attempt to feel like your life is still moving forward. You will become fatter and more resentful as the years and the children wear on you until one day you realize that you are everything you swore you would never be. You'll spend your time drinking wine and bitching about your husband with the other worn out used to be cute (at best) women in the neighborhood while harboring the growing fear that your husband is secretly fucking his secretary. Go team!
So before either of you two get the idea that I am just going to let you walk onto MY show and take the titles that have MY name on them, you can think again.
I am wrestling royalty, you're barely wrestling."
NOW THAT ^^ IS WHAT YOU CALL THE BEST ASS IN OCW
"What the HELL were you thinking young lady?! You could have been killed!"
I sat there, leg bouncing as it crossed over the other, my face covered in a canvas of sass.
"I wish I was!."
He was furious. Furious not because I could have died, but because he prized possession was almost a prized memory. I was no use to him in the ground.
"How can I be comfortable giving you your teenage freedom if you escape like a damn undomesticated animal every time I turn my back for two seconds?"
He had a point, but I'd never tell him that. I just rolled my eyes and bit the inside of my cheek.
"So.....I think we're going to have to monitor you more intensively......."
"Oh what, lock me in my room? Oooooh, so scary."
He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small key.
"I don't believe I have a choice. I am sure you will understand."
He walked over towards me, motioning for me to stand up. Still biting my cheek I looked at him, my pony tail bouncing along with my leg.
"UP!" His voice had a little more base in it this time, a little more gravel. I felt my eyes roll as I stood up.
"Upstairs."
I gave him an "ugh" audibly, and turned to walk up the steps. I could feel him behind me, ogling me. He began to walk up the stairs with me, walking behind me step for step....breathing heavy.
As I got to my door, I felt his palm brush against my ass. I turned my head back, but he pointed to the room. I sighed again and turned, heading into the room. He locked it from the outside with the small key before entering in behind me.
"I didn't want it to be this way......."
I sat on my bed.
"But you're just so stubborn."
I huffed again as the sound of metal tinged. He undid his belt. I heard the zipper.
"I hate that you make me do this."
I laid down on the bed. As he crawled on top of me, I watched the birds outside the window, in the tree.
One day, I would fly.
1 HOUR EARLIER
I just kept running. Running with the hopes that maybe I would take off and fly. The car engine roared behind me, I heard the tires crunch the Las Vegas pavement. I had to duck and dodge, I knew a straight line race was impossible.
I ducked behind a fence, cut through a yard, and leaped over a small kiddie pool. I kept running, with no real destination. Like the birds, they can take off any fly anywhere. Where do they really have to go?
Branches from bushes and corners of wooden fences scraped my skin. I felt my lungs tightening. The 100 degree heat didn't help. This wasn't running weather.
I cut through the final row of back yards, a branch scraping my cheek lightly, and found myself skidding to a stop when I came to the freeway. Trapped. He was behind me, I knew he was. Even though, him being in a car, that would be impossible.
I looked up at the sky, and saw the birds circling. This time, turkey vultures
Birds of prey.
I smiled to myself. I was ready.
"Birds of a feather" I said to myself as I stepped out onto the busy freeway.
