Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2023 23:41:42 GMT -5
TW: Suicide
I'm a man who has been given many names. Loner, for my inability to deal with others' personalities and my preferred lifestyle of being left alone. Loser, for my out-of-the-ordinary appearance and interests. Cold, for my ability to turn a blind eye to someone's pain and suffering or to even cause such feelings. Sadistic, for the way in which I enjoy humiliating others and thrive at depriving them of pleasure. While most would be offended by these words I rather enjoy them. While I know these words are meant to tear me down they instead bring me pride, pride in the fact that to the outside world, I am who I am. I don't pretend to be a saint in order to fit in. I don't act like everyone else so I can be accepted. I don't mask myself in order to get what I want.
"Say it..." A pause "Out loud..." Another short pause “Say it…”
"Vampire."
"How ridiculous."
I laid on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in my lap as "Twilight" ran in the background casting a glow in the otherwise dark living room. I was here out of obligation, I made a promise to my roommate to spend some time with her after the death of her relationship with her boyfriend of five years. A short time ago she abandoned me leaving me here to watch a movie I had no control over picking and still she hadn't returned.
Ten minutes had passed and I realized the movie was still playing in the background while I scrolled my phone yet my roommate still hadn’t returned. I decided to go and check on her when I saw a light under the bathroom door. Not thinking much of the situation, I stepped past the door and sat the empty bowl in my hand on the kitchen counter and filled a glass of water. I realized something had been off when I noticed on the table was a box of her needles she used to take her medication for diabetes. Rarely she would forget to put the box back but even more rarely would she take her insulin so late after eating. I picked up the box, closed it, and sat it in the cabinet above the sink. I turned toward the hall and began walking back to the living room when from behind the bathroom door I could hear a moan.
"Help." Her voice was weak as though she was fighting sleep. I didn't bother knocking and went right to opening the door. Laying in the bathtub with a needle in her vein was my roommate. She was pale and her eyes fought to stay open as blood poured from the needle into the bathtub. It appeared she was attempting to take her own life in some tragic way as a way to get back at her beloved's harsh parting words. I stood in the doorway taking in the scene that played before me memorizing every detail. The plug from the needle layed on the ground next to the tub next to a bottle of Jameson I had no knowledge of even being in the house. Blood coated her pale skin and poured out onto her shirt. The smell of iron filled the air as I took a step closer to the bathtub.
"Help...Me...Please..." It was a ridiculous request given the situation. She had time to stop herself from this act and even had time to prevent it from going further. Obviously, this is what she wanted and why would I stand in her way? I shook my head in her direction then turned to wash the leftover butter from my hands. "Please." I looked up at the mirror and saw her reflection. The color drained from her face and she was acting lethargic. I knew it wouldn't be long before she slipped into sleep and died.
After washing my hand I left her to die alone in the bathtub. After an hour, I called the police to inform them of the body that laid motionless in my bathroom. They were quick to come and asked questions as the ambulance pulled away without the lights and blaring sirens. It was too bad I liked that roommate.
A laugh in the dark. "A dime a dozen." A coin hitting tile echoes in the background. "The wrestling world is full of BRADDOCK's, the men claiming to be the strongest, the toughest, the hardest to beat, but who also end up being the ones who need a pick me up in order to achieve such a "unique look" as he has claimed to possess." Pitch black is the only thing that can be seen while the sound of needles scratching a hard surface is heard. "Tattoo needles aren't the only needles piercing your skin, are they BRADDOCK? I've always found it so funny that when a man needs an edge he turns to resources outside of himself instead of turning inward and realizing maybe he just isn't pushing himself hard enough." The sound of bones breaking and skin ripping. "When you hear the words self-trained you expect someone who looks similar to Colossus instead of Zuse but here you are, blunging veins and all. You have all the signs of someone who doesn't work for their physic and yet you expect to work with professionals and not be "slowed down," by being on the big stage." A large white light illuminates the room but nothing and no one is there. "In order to be on the big stage you have to put in work, have you put in the work or have you taken the easy way out? It's going to take more than jokes and juicing up to make anything of yourself in the business. This isn't your backyard brawl or bar fight. There are no drunks stumbling for a punch or juice heads roid raging and making swings because they are angry the air is touching their face. It's going to take more than a "unique" look to get somewhere in this federation." A dark laugh echoes in the room once again. "I thought it was only women who cared so fondly of their looks but here you are betting on yours to give you an edge. Here you are wearing the look of "violence" as a cloak to mask your true nature; being too scared to be average. Like this room your head is...Empty."
The lights fade out and once again the room is pitch black. "I'm not a simple drunk that you can land one lucky hit on and out I go. I'm not someone who is so focused on my outward appearance that I only see red. I'm not someone you will so easily pin 1..2..3.." The lights flash. "I'm a competitor, a contender, someone who relishes in what this business is. I don't rely on my muscular appearance to dictate someone's opinion of me,what I am is someone who has earned my spot in the ring based on hard work. " Another flash and blood drips down the walls. "I've put my blood into this sport while you've merely spilled blood in simple-minded situations." Another flash and water trickles and mixes with the blood. "I've poured sweat in learning how to wrestle and not just merely fight. It takes more than your "old fashion" ways and knock-your-teeth-out ability. It takes power but it also takes stamina and logistics." The lights lash and a scream can be heard. "And I've put other's tears into a career that one could be proud of while another would fear." One last flash before the room is once again black. "Until we meet in the ring I leave you with a question, why be a simple man when you can be a legend?"