Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2023 21:01:49 GMT -5
'The first time I ever went to the Freak Show I was a wee little boy. I remember the energy was breathtaking and all the acts on stage were mesmerizing. At the end we met all the acts. The bearded lady dressed in purple robes that glistened in the daylight sung a wonderful song as if she were a Siren. We listened in awe and when she spoke to us after her show she was kind and gentle hearted. The cannon men were midgets and each one of the had a joke to tell while they flew across the stage. After the show they mentioned how exhilarating the feeling was. I talked with the knife thrower after he nearly decapitated his show girl as she spun on a large target. He told me about how wonderful it was to work in such an atmosphere and that he finally found a job that he no longer considered a job; he loved that he could use his talent and earn a living. I even spoke to the leader of the freak show. He was a small bald man with somewhat of a gut. You could tell the show was his pride and joy and that he loved every one of his little freaks. He finally built a family, a place where he belonged and could feel like the King of the castle. Each act was amazingly kind. Well, all except one.' Johnny's voice lowered as he began to remember the large round man. 'The strong man simply landed a mallet on a large round plate and as a small ding was heard. He lifted four of the other acts on his shoulders with a frown. When we met him he barely talked and when he did it was incoherent. The freak show owner had to speak for him in order for any of us to understand. He was my least favorite.' Johnny frowned. 'He was the least interesting of them all and smelt the worst. That freak show came back years later with the same acts expect one. The strong man was no longer apart of the traveling show but instead they had a clown who was able to juggle and do tricks on a unicycle. He made children laugh with his jokes, blew balloon animals, and even performed a few magic tricks. He was loved above most of the other acts. He was better than the strong man and more interesting.'
Johnny's frown grew as he stood from the spinning horse on the carousel. A darker version of carnival music played as background noise but his steps on the steel below him overpowered the music. As he took long strides across the floor of the carousel whimpering flooded his ears.
'What's the matter? You don't like my story?' Johnny's voice was deep and menacing. He was almost taunting the blonde female sitting on top of a beautifully red painted horse. She shook her head eyes wide in horror. 'No? You don't like it.' He spoke low and raspy as he brushed a piece of hair from her face. ‘That’s fine. I’ve never been a good story teller.’ Johnny smacks her face a few times before walking back to his horse.
‘By the end of all this you’ll thank me. You won’t be scared of me or what I can or did do to you. You’ll be grateful even. By the end of this you’ll care about me the same way I care about you.’ Johnny spins around and leans on the horse he had been riding. ‘I’ll make you strong. I'll make sure you can’t get hurt. I’ll do what I should have done. I’ll be better this time. I promise Jenny.’
Have you heard the one about a prick named Dick who thought he knew shit but didn't know shit? Flapping those gums of yours probably hard as a rock because you know you can stand behind the big guy instead of putting some pack into your punch. Johnny begins with his hand under his chin but sticks a single finger out half way through talking. Since Colossus has big orangutan titties I'm assuming he's the power bottom yeah? Johnny says matter of factly then begins to laugh maniacally.
Colossus has no fear because Johnny puts his hand against his ear, a whistle noise sounds as a balloon blows up near his opposite ear then pops his head is full of air. Colossus doesn't feel anything because he doesn't have a brain cell because you never let him borrow the one you two are supposed to be sharing. Your training methods are dumbing down stipulations and opponents to the bare minimum needed to remember so your 'Monster' can remember how to win you the big bucks. Know how to get a retard to remember how to do something? Give him a real world situation.
Johnny scratches the top of his head with confusion. And aren't monsters supposed to be scary? Fat and ugly don't incite fear into my soul. The scariest thing about Dick's monster is that he follows orders barked by a little bitch. When I thought clown gimmick it wasn't to be scary, oh no, no no no. I am a clown, all definitions of the word. I am a joke, that's the point Dicky. The clown part isn't supposed to scare you, it's the crazy part. Johnny emphasizes the word 'crazy' with a little vibrato in his voice. The part that doesn't care about that 'first right hand to my temple' because Johnny takes a deep breath in and pauses it won't knock me out it'll make me laugh Johnny pauses again and with a smile says like a good punchline if you know what I'm sayin. You want to strike fear by calling your fat tub of lard a 'Monster' but the only reason people are running away from him is he sweats garlic. Shrink him down to your size and the man is useless. Put him on a diet and you lost your leverage. Doesn't make for a very good monster let alone wrestler when the only advantage he has is 450 pounds of pure cake sloshing around in that gut of his. No ability, no brains, no win. Johnny frowns like a sad clown paining.
My gimmick was never supposed to be original but while we're on the subject a puny little man managing a big fat dope and calling him a 'Monster' isn't very original now is it Dick? Overused cliché is just something everyone in this industry is at this point. The fact you felt the need to ramble about my unoriginality tells me you ain't got shit on me except the petty little pullouts. A smile crosses Johnny's face that is abnormally wide and extends far past his cheeks. Dicky boy, if I didn't know better I'd call bullshit. I'd say your poker face is slipping. Normally you're better than this but resorting to my unoriginality, talking about my previous non professions, and above all else making clown jokes? Oh, you lost your edge and at Rise you'll lose your guts. Johnny laughs for mere seconds then frowns.
I also wasn’t supposed to be scary because I’m a clown. I'm scary because I don't care about anything really. I'm scary because like the scooby gang I unmask people hiding behind personas claiming to be something they aren't. Like you claiming Colossus is a 'Monster'. Johnny raises a finger and a light blub appears above his head. You know Johnny pauses actually I do know how to scare Colossus though. I’ll just send him the new trending diet fade and put your name on the postage. Kill two birds with one stone. A horn hocks from out of nowhere and Johnny looks around confused.
You know no one comes for the strong men at a freak show right? In retrospect the only freaky thing about strong men is how much they eat. Then again anyone can look like one of those Slaton sisters and slap strong on themselves as long as they can still walk without a walker. Johnny gives his head a little shake. Strong men are the boring attraction that are put in a place to fill it for a little extra time on the show. Johnny chatters his teeth loudly. A placeholder until a better act comes along. Johnny smiles. That's why I was asked to come here on rise and take the main event spot. Keep in mind Dick I never asked to be on this show or even be pitted against the big red maraschino cherry. I was the freak put here to replace your freak. 'Jolie asked her sister Brit if she could borrow an Anarchy talent to try to slow the champs momentum. She gave her Johnny.' is the headliner. Looks like they're looking for your replacement. Now ain't that funny that a clown can take a strongman's place? Johnny gives a sarcastic over dramatic wink. You’re ‘Monster’ is hardly competition.
Impressive that your out of shape ‘Monster’ can clear a whole room of out of shape Juggalos. No really, I’m impressed by your stupidity. You thought you did something by having him attack unsuspecting concert goers and all of them be dressed as ‘clowns’. There’s absolutely no advantage I have that those people didn’t. Wellllll Johnny extends the word except I know how to fight, I’m not out of shape, oh right and I’m prepared for a fight. Key word prepared. That real world situation isn’t doin shit to help Colossus this week but it was a funny watch.
What I did learn from your training method this week was Colossus hates clowns. Johnny speaks matter a factly with a finger pushed family into his chin. Hate is a strong word with some strong feelings behind it. Yeah, I learned that one in the Asylum Johnny winks I also learned it’s a secondary emotion. Hmmm, Maybe Colossus does feel and I know exactly how he feels about clowns. Johnny pulls a book from behind his back along with a set of large bifocal glasses. He runs his finger across the pages. AH! YES! ‘hatred is the deep psychological response to feeling trapped or being unable to understand certain sociological phenomena’ Johnny slams the book with one hand and toss it along with the glasses behind him. Fear. He fears clowns. Johnny speaks in a melancholy tone with a look of utter disdain on his face. You’re ‘Monster’ does actually fear me, you said it yourself and I quote “I know you hate clowns” No wonder you’re pulling out the obvious clichés this time around. You’re trying to cover up the fact Colossus is scared. Awe, you do care.
"You’re a hardcore wrestler with the heart of a baked potato" Are you saying my heart is delicious? Is that your plan? Tell Colossus my organs are food so he’ll try to rip me apart? Smart but you forgot that you complimented me which I’m going to go out on a limb and say you didn’t mean to. Dumbass. ‘Hardcore wrestler’ meaning I can take a beating which means your ‘Monster’ is going to have to be a little better than just throwing a punch to my temple. He’s actually going to have to learn to wrestle and not just eat his way to victory. Now go out and find that in the real world.
Johnny's frown grew as he stood from the spinning horse on the carousel. A darker version of carnival music played as background noise but his steps on the steel below him overpowered the music. As he took long strides across the floor of the carousel whimpering flooded his ears.
'What's the matter? You don't like my story?' Johnny's voice was deep and menacing. He was almost taunting the blonde female sitting on top of a beautifully red painted horse. She shook her head eyes wide in horror. 'No? You don't like it.' He spoke low and raspy as he brushed a piece of hair from her face. ‘That’s fine. I’ve never been a good story teller.’ Johnny smacks her face a few times before walking back to his horse.
‘By the end of all this you’ll thank me. You won’t be scared of me or what I can or did do to you. You’ll be grateful even. By the end of this you’ll care about me the same way I care about you.’ Johnny spins around and leans on the horse he had been riding. ‘I’ll make you strong. I'll make sure you can’t get hurt. I’ll do what I should have done. I’ll be better this time. I promise Jenny.’
Have you heard the one about a prick named Dick who thought he knew shit but didn't know shit? Flapping those gums of yours probably hard as a rock because you know you can stand behind the big guy instead of putting some pack into your punch. Johnny begins with his hand under his chin but sticks a single finger out half way through talking. Since Colossus has big orangutan titties I'm assuming he's the power bottom yeah? Johnny says matter of factly then begins to laugh maniacally.
Colossus has no fear because Johnny puts his hand against his ear, a whistle noise sounds as a balloon blows up near his opposite ear then pops his head is full of air. Colossus doesn't feel anything because he doesn't have a brain cell because you never let him borrow the one you two are supposed to be sharing. Your training methods are dumbing down stipulations and opponents to the bare minimum needed to remember so your 'Monster' can remember how to win you the big bucks. Know how to get a retard to remember how to do something? Give him a real world situation.
Johnny scratches the top of his head with confusion. And aren't monsters supposed to be scary? Fat and ugly don't incite fear into my soul. The scariest thing about Dick's monster is that he follows orders barked by a little bitch. When I thought clown gimmick it wasn't to be scary, oh no, no no no. I am a clown, all definitions of the word. I am a joke, that's the point Dicky. The clown part isn't supposed to scare you, it's the crazy part. Johnny emphasizes the word 'crazy' with a little vibrato in his voice. The part that doesn't care about that 'first right hand to my temple' because Johnny takes a deep breath in and pauses it won't knock me out it'll make me laugh Johnny pauses again and with a smile says like a good punchline if you know what I'm sayin. You want to strike fear by calling your fat tub of lard a 'Monster' but the only reason people are running away from him is he sweats garlic. Shrink him down to your size and the man is useless. Put him on a diet and you lost your leverage. Doesn't make for a very good monster let alone wrestler when the only advantage he has is 450 pounds of pure cake sloshing around in that gut of his. No ability, no brains, no win. Johnny frowns like a sad clown paining.
My gimmick was never supposed to be original but while we're on the subject a puny little man managing a big fat dope and calling him a 'Monster' isn't very original now is it Dick? Overused cliché is just something everyone in this industry is at this point. The fact you felt the need to ramble about my unoriginality tells me you ain't got shit on me except the petty little pullouts. A smile crosses Johnny's face that is abnormally wide and extends far past his cheeks. Dicky boy, if I didn't know better I'd call bullshit. I'd say your poker face is slipping. Normally you're better than this but resorting to my unoriginality, talking about my previous non professions, and above all else making clown jokes? Oh, you lost your edge and at Rise you'll lose your guts. Johnny laughs for mere seconds then frowns.
I also wasn’t supposed to be scary because I’m a clown. I'm scary because I don't care about anything really. I'm scary because like the scooby gang I unmask people hiding behind personas claiming to be something they aren't. Like you claiming Colossus is a 'Monster'. Johnny raises a finger and a light blub appears above his head. You know Johnny pauses actually I do know how to scare Colossus though. I’ll just send him the new trending diet fade and put your name on the postage. Kill two birds with one stone. A horn hocks from out of nowhere and Johnny looks around confused.
You know no one comes for the strong men at a freak show right? In retrospect the only freaky thing about strong men is how much they eat. Then again anyone can look like one of those Slaton sisters and slap strong on themselves as long as they can still walk without a walker. Johnny gives his head a little shake. Strong men are the boring attraction that are put in a place to fill it for a little extra time on the show. Johnny chatters his teeth loudly. A placeholder until a better act comes along. Johnny smiles. That's why I was asked to come here on rise and take the main event spot. Keep in mind Dick I never asked to be on this show or even be pitted against the big red maraschino cherry. I was the freak put here to replace your freak. 'Jolie asked her sister Brit if she could borrow an Anarchy talent to try to slow the champs momentum. She gave her Johnny.' is the headliner. Looks like they're looking for your replacement. Now ain't that funny that a clown can take a strongman's place? Johnny gives a sarcastic over dramatic wink. You’re ‘Monster’ is hardly competition.
Impressive that your out of shape ‘Monster’ can clear a whole room of out of shape Juggalos. No really, I’m impressed by your stupidity. You thought you did something by having him attack unsuspecting concert goers and all of them be dressed as ‘clowns’. There’s absolutely no advantage I have that those people didn’t. Wellllll Johnny extends the word except I know how to fight, I’m not out of shape, oh right and I’m prepared for a fight. Key word prepared. That real world situation isn’t doin shit to help Colossus this week but it was a funny watch.
What I did learn from your training method this week was Colossus hates clowns. Johnny speaks matter a factly with a finger pushed family into his chin. Hate is a strong word with some strong feelings behind it. Yeah, I learned that one in the Asylum Johnny winks I also learned it’s a secondary emotion. Hmmm, Maybe Colossus does feel and I know exactly how he feels about clowns. Johnny pulls a book from behind his back along with a set of large bifocal glasses. He runs his finger across the pages. AH! YES! ‘hatred is the deep psychological response to feeling trapped or being unable to understand certain sociological phenomena’ Johnny slams the book with one hand and toss it along with the glasses behind him. Fear. He fears clowns. Johnny speaks in a melancholy tone with a look of utter disdain on his face. You’re ‘Monster’ does actually fear me, you said it yourself and I quote “I know you hate clowns” No wonder you’re pulling out the obvious clichés this time around. You’re trying to cover up the fact Colossus is scared. Awe, you do care.
"You’re a hardcore wrestler with the heart of a baked potato" Are you saying my heart is delicious? Is that your plan? Tell Colossus my organs are food so he’ll try to rip me apart? Smart but you forgot that you complimented me which I’m going to go out on a limb and say you didn’t mean to. Dumbass. ‘Hardcore wrestler’ meaning I can take a beating which means your ‘Monster’ is going to have to be a little better than just throwing a punch to my temple. He’s actually going to have to learn to wrestle and not just eat his way to victory. Now go out and find that in the real world.