...LiVE FROM THE HARLEM NEW YORK!!!!

[jestyrseryous]

…K so like, hear me out here K?...People SeRyOu$Ly OVERLOOK the importance of so many aspects of their own lives, and the significance of others. For instance if you look back over the generations of which there are plenty of in the present here and now. And you will notice that this chosen profession of ourz…You know the

~$~ BuSiNe$$ oF PRo RaSSLiN ~$~
HaS ALWaYZ BeeN a MiRRoR ReFLeCTioN oF THe WoRLD HaPPeNiNG AROUND IT!!!

Live action ART ImITaTiNG LiFE…As it were! Which ya know from an artistic standpoint is a good if not great thing. But unfortunately for pretty much everyone sooner rather than later, the reflection in the mirror this go round is not a pretty one, because it reflects the ideals, principles, morals, and MOTHeR PHUCKIN motives of its people and well suffice to say the human race has never looked phucking

!!!!!D.I.M.M.E.R.!!!!!!
ALL CaUSe NoNe oF YoU ASSHATZ DoNT KNoW HoW TO SaY WHaT YoU MEaN ANd MEaN WHaT YoU SaY!!!

Because you are all a bunch of fickle self absorbed children, and yes I do mean

!!!!EVeRy F’N ONE OF YOU!!!!
…ANd IT HAS CLEARLY NEARLY DRiVeN Me INTO F’N MaDnESS!!!

Anytime anyone tells one of you twat waffles whats up you loose your minds accusing them of infringing upon the very rights they spent most of if not all of their time infringing on others! Hypocrites, unaccountable, self righteous

!!!!!F’N JeRK oFFZ THe LoT oF YA!!!!!
…I’M LooKIN AT YOU BLAKE ANDERSON!!!

But look, I know I’m supposed to at the very least try and tell yall a story, and don’t worry I took all that into account, so please

!!!!!UNTWIST YoUR F’N KNiCKeRZ ALReaDy!!!!!
AND PLEASE REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM THE DEPTHS OF YOUR ANAL CAVITY!!!

I just wanted to make sure the man I am scheduled to face in OCW understands that I’m not really doing or saying any of this to attack him personally, it’s just well I have to! It’s a matter or not just principle, but doing the right thing so that we can at least say we did our part to prevent humanity from slipping further into depths of what is verging on

!!!!!UTTER F’N STUPIDITY!!!!!
…I MEAN DO YOU HEAR SOME OF THESE ASSBAGZ TALKIN THESE DAYZ???

It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad really, but it’s not so

!!!!IT’S NOT!!!!!
FeeL ME??


OHHHH wait the bedtime story…MY BAD YALL! OK SO

~$~ ONCe UPoN A TiMe ~$~
IN A DIRTY SHITHOLE CALLED HARLEM NEW YORK!!!!

There was a man, who once made a life for himself that so many others have tried and failed before him, because as Im sure he will tell you at one point or another. Being an “EaRNeR” on the mean streets of Harlem New York really is nothing to shake a stick at, and if you do it correctly can wield more than profit, it wields RESPECT, but really only as far as your name goes. And really we are only introducing you this dude because he will come into play a little later in our story. See his name is

~$~ KROW ~$~
NO THAT’S NOT HIS ACTUAL NAME, IT’S JuST WHaT “THEY CaLL EM”...YOU KNoW…”THEM”...OR WHATEVER!!!!

And Mr. Krow believes something that really isn’t true, and well the real main character of our story is of the mind that people shouldn’t do that, because at the end of each and every single day the simple truth that not only gets overlooked but trampled at any and every given opportunity is that if you truly aspire to BE BETTER…then that begins and phucking endz with

!!!!!BeING BeTTER!!!!!
AND GiVeN THe FaCTZ @ OuR DiSPoSaL KRoW DON’T KNoW THAT!!!!

But our main character does, and his preferred method of instruction is, was, and always will be requiring his students to learn things

!!!!!THe HARD WAY!!!!
…MOSTLY BC IT’S THe MoST UseFUL EDUCaTioNAL TooL In HuMaN HiSToRY, SaVe FaILURE!!!

…But don’t worry Mr. KROW will catch a more than HEALTHY Do$e oF THaT SHIT TOO!!! So let us stop wasting time and go ahead and meet the actual hero of this story (just don’t let him hear you say that), because our main character fancies himself

~$~ A ViLLiAN ~$~
…MosTLy CaUSe oF ALL THE BooZ! And He JUST LoVEZ BeING A TROUBLEMaKER!!!

SO this man named LA Johnny Stylez who dresses up like a clown on Sunday and Monday Nights, went to this historic place called Harlem. See one thing you also need to understand about our friend is he has been a successful pro wrestler for almost two decades, but as we all know the wear and tear the life on the road leaves on ones soul can cause strain to it’s most dedicated patronz. Long story short once upon a time this foul mouthed, arrogant as all hell, disrespectful ASSHOLE decided to take some time away from the rasslin biz and decided to become a FULL TIME SMUT PEDDLER!!!

~$~ OBViOUSLy ~$~
…THiS IS WHeRE THe SToRY GeTZ BeTTeR!!!

…And so he took his money and decided to invest it in what was at the time a small pornographic distributor known as BRAZZERZ!...ANd now he owns 69% (which is the majority for those of you keeping score at home ). This is all relevant don’t worry! Cause ya see this Stylez fella took some of the $$$ he made from his forays into rasslin and pornography and went on down to Harlem

As our narrator tells us this lil story, we see a skylight view of the infamous HARLEM in New York City. We see Jestyr with no face paint on, walk inside of a building that had a FOR SALE sign outside of it. We see Johnny walk in and shake hands with someone we are left to assume is the person in charge. The building is several stories high and looks kinda run down hardy worth any real real estate investors time and or money. SO let us put it to yall this way if this was Monopoly this would be Mediterranean Ave!

But as the scene cuts we see that this doesn’t bother the blue haired man as he eagerly signs the contracts and once again stands up shakes hands with the man and his wife who looks like she works the late shift at Waffle House. But they both seem extremely happy to have sold this otherwise shithole. With the deed in hand Johnny Stylez walks right past the camera but not before stopping smiling and winking…Scene fades

…A LiL WHiLE LaTeR!!!

Scene cuts to a single crow doing what real CROWZ do…Eat some poor farmers corn. We see the magnetic bird land and hop towards the ear of corn. It nudges it with its beek, and eventually begins to run its beak against the corn nudging some of it loose. A few pieces fall to the ground and the large sized black bird pecks at it. It gets one of the pieces in its mouth lifts its head and opens its mouth allowing for the delicious morsel to fall back down his throat. It lowers it’s head for another tasty bite when

!!!!!BAM!!!!!
SoMeONe BLASTS HIM, ANd NoW IT’$ D-E-D DEAD!!!!

There is a brief peaceful silence as the shot finishing echoing through the air, and then we hear maniacal laughter in the distance growing closer and closer. The camera pans and we see OCW’s SooN 2 Be

~$~ SuPeRSTaR ~$~
THe TiNSLeToWn TRoUBLE MaKeR Je$TyR SeRyoU$!

He runs up decked out like one of them “real hunters” from like Arkansas or something. We are talking head to toe CAMO BITCH!! Camo hate with a net back, camo boots, camo shirt pants THE WHOLE MAGOO! He picks up the crow and puts it in a large camo backpack he is carrying. The blood still profusely dripping we see red seaping out of sed back pack. But the Je$TyR decides to stop here for a smoke break. He reaches in his pocket and removes a pack of LUCKY STRIKES. HE pops one in his mouth and pulls out his HAHAHAHA Zippo lighter. He flicks the top open and allows the flame to gently dance across the tip of the cigarette as he takes a drag and looks directly into the camera and blows the smoke into it as he begins to speak…

Je$TyR SeRyOu$: …SO I was tellin you muddah phuckerz a bedtime story right?...RIGHT! Shall we proceed? So there was this dood right? His name is uhh…phuck…Ohh wait now I MeMBeR…THis greasy TwATZ NaMe was…or I guess still is

~$~ HeKToR delKROW…GET IT? ~$~
…Meh YaLL NeVeR HeaRDA THiS D-BaG EiTHeR???

Well him or whatever dildo he paid to write his BIO would be shocked to hear us discussing such news. I mean this dude is “A-PHUCKING-LeGeDLLy” a shot caller on the mean streets of Harlem New York, which is a BOLD CLAIM indeed! And ya know maybe he is maybe he isn’t…But one thing I can tell you is whatever he accomplished on the streets of Harlem, even here in the modern day I think every single resident in HARLEM would be more than happy to tell him that despite all of his efforts, accomplishments and everything else inbetween he sure as shit aint no

!!!!HoLLyWooD NiKKi!!!!
…GaRaGe SALE, SaLVaTiON ARMY FRANK LUCAS BITCH ASS!!!!

I mean ME personally, I think he is from Harlem about as much as BooKER T, whom the WWE gladly told you each and every week that shitkicker is FROM HOUSTON TEXAS, which for those of you that don’t got a phuckin MAP AINT NO WHERE PHUCKIN NEAR HARLEM!!! But ya know what KROW I didn’t come here today to discuss geography, because I actually hope you are from Harlem because that is going to make what is about to phucking happen

!!!!SO MuCH MoRE FUN!!!
..Ju$T WaIT YoU’RE GuNNa LoVe IT…I MeAN PRoLLy HaTe IT, BUT WHATEVER!!!!

No your error is not your location! No sir your error is that knob gobbler you call a mouth and the things you let flow from it. Now how can this be, because I haven’t heard a word you have said and in all likelihood won’t between now and when I do my damndest to stomp you out like you were one of my cigarette butts, ASSHOLE! HA see what I did there? I read your lil bio that told a story of a guy who knew how to earn his way through life. That despite modest beginnings found a way to carve out a place in one of the hardest places to carve anything in the entire country…Then felt the lash of the law and that was enough to scare this LiL GuM DRoP

!!!!!STRaIGHT!!!!!
…THiS MaY Be LoW HaNGiNG FRuIT, BUT STRAIGHT? HA!!!!!!!

Anyway he decided to stop criminaling despite “being good at it HAHAHAHAAHA, sorry I don’t mean to laugh but it’s just funny! SO yeah criminal decides to give up the life and come here to be a pro rassler! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA, again this sounds like an unwatchable show on PEACOCK! READ A BOOK

!!!!!HeKToR!!!!!
…BaD GuYS BUILT THIS PHUCKIN WORLD!!! ESPECIALLY THE NECK OF THE WOODZ YOU CAME FROM MUDDAH PHUCKER!!!!

And what you thought you’d just come here, and start over?...What be a good guy?...Again I don’t mean to but

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If that’s your PLAN STAN, I suggest you either go back to the drawing board or stop dead in your tracks…or you can wait a few more hours and I’ll do it for you! See the reason, the real one anyway of why you drew my ire here slick is because one of the last things it says in your BIO, is that you are a man…HeRe THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART GuM DROP!!! Out of your man pleasing hole and onto a piece of paper up for everyone to read on the internet is the most untrue statement I have read in quite some time and well yall know how much we be reading doin this shit right? But on there it says KROW is a man

!!!!EVeRyONe Re$PeCTS?
LooK HeRe ARETHA FRaNKLIn…IDK IF THeY ToLD YoU WHo I AM!!!

SO allow me to introduce myself…THey call me many things, but one of the things they call me the most MOTHER FUCKER is the

~!$!~ DoN oF Di$Re$PeCT ~!$!~
…YoU WaNNa GuESS HoW I EaRNeD SUCH A NaMe???

…Ya know what nevermind I’ll show you watch this!!!

Jestyr snaps his fingers and suddenly we cut back to a still frame shot of the run down building he just purchased late at night…Almost midnight actually, there is a large white tarp covering the complete bricked side of the building on the right where it is facing a parking lot. Scene then cuts back to Je$TyR where he is still in camo picking up another dead crow he just shot dead and then looks into the camera almost startled. He holds up his hand and pulls out a phone, he dials a number and presses it to his ear. He looks into the camera and holds up his index finger indicating this shall only take a moment….Then as promised a voice picks up on the other end…

Je$TyR SeRyOu$: WHAT THE PHUCKIN HELL ARE YOU BURNOUTZ DOING? I told you to be ready, so HELP ME GOD YOU PHUCKS BETTER BE READY!?!...OK GOOD! SO, yeah DO IT NOW, and then you should see a black SUV pull up any moment and he will have the restr of your funds IN CASH as promised…But DO IT RIGHT PHUCKING NOW! KLuVyoUBYE!!!

Scene then abruptly cuts back to the building the moment Jestyr hangs up the phone. Suddenly the huge tarp comes down and painted on it is a mural with the face of the man who calls himself KROW here in the OCW, only the murial also appears to have been vandalized as there are black nerdy glasses drawn onto his face. His teeth have been blacked out in the middle making him look like Micheal Strahan’s

!!!!LIL F’N Si$TeR!!!!
…LAUGH IT’S PHuCKIN FuNNY DUDE!!!!!!

ANd written over his head is a phrase I want you to all ReMeMBeR like every single man, woman, and child in Harlem will when they walk passed this bitch…EVERY F’N DAY, until I have the building torn down and rebuilt!...Scene then cuts back to JeSTyR who is walking back towards his large black truck on Monster Truck tires he slings his backpack into the bed and then hops up into the seat and then slams the door starting the truck. Country Music starts blaring as Jestyr looks so disgusted it looks like he may have a conniption. But fortunately his fingers press the apropos buttons and HIS music comes back on. “MoRE HuMAN THAN HuMaN” by White Zombie blares into the speakers of whatever the phuck you are watching this on, and he lights up another cigarette taking a slow drag, exhaling the smoke from his nostrils

As the camera switches to inside the truck from the passenger seat. THe woman making her loud orgasam noises is all you hear…Well that and the roaring of Jestyr’s truck as he crashes through whatever farm he was on killing crows. Jestyr then eventually turns the jams down and continues with his story…

Je$TyR SeRyoU$: Cause see that’s the problem with DICKBAGZ like you these days KRoW…Well wait let’s back up for a sec because I actually would like to perhaps break char a lil bit here and actually

!!!!F’N CoMMeND YoU…SeRyOu$Ly!!!!!
CaUSe AT LeAST YoU’RE NoT A PoWeR RaNGeR, Or A PIRaTe LiKe MoST oF THeSe OTHeR DiLDOZ TuDay!!!

Least you got a real backstory from a real place, far as we know, and here you are trying to make something of yourself..BRAVO! I mean too bad you ran into me first cause after I’m done with you cowboy you are gunna need to borrow my

!!!!F’N SHoVEL!!!!
CaUse HoW ELsE YoU GuNNa FIND YoUR BaBy DICK UNdERNEaTH ALL THAT DIRT???

But you can’t go flapping your weiner massagers saying anything you want like it’s the got damn truth when NO IT’S PHUCKING NOT! THat is the shit that you kids do today that drove me back into this business, because yall for some reason unknown to both GODS and men, think that just because it falls from your mouths that makes it not just true

!!!!BUT GoSPeL!!!!!
…AND IM SORRY BUT MOST OF YOU ARE REALLY…AND I MEAN REALLY F’N STUPID!!!

If the bible was being written today most of you mouth breathin sonz a bitches would insist Taylor Swift get a testamenrt of her own, and I’m sorry but

!!!!!NO!!!!!
…THAT IS NOT HOW WE BEHAVE CHILDREN!!!!

SO KROW I can’t allow you to say that everyone RESPECTS you and get away with it, because well how else could I not be offended when you say everyone that INCLUDES ME, and sir I am of the belief that respect is something YOU

!!!!!F’N EARN!!!!
MeANiNG YOU’LL HaVE TO BeaT It OuTTa ME…AND EVEN THEN!!!

I don’t respect you just CUZ mother fucker why the hell would I? For all I know ur back story is just a got damn story and you are just like the rest of these chumps running around prertending to be something they aren’t and never could be..and IM not even talking about the dildos who pretend they are GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY…and yes it’s a thing, please don’t ask! But KROW life on the mean streets of Harlem isn’t terribly dissimilar from our lives on the road being pro wrestlers! You have to fight for every single inch you get, and respect only comes with a BODY COUT, AN ACTUAL BODY COUNT not some number that calculates and identify what kind of STD’s SoRiReTy SISTeRZ and the FORTuNaTe PHUCKMOOX most likely have! I don’t have one of those to speak of here in OCW…But spoiler alert EK-ToRRR

!!!!I’M FiNNa!!!!
(SPoILeR ALeRT pt II…IT STARTS WITH YOURZ!!!)

So shut up and listen short stack cause as much as I do, I actually phucking HATE repeating myself! Nothing you have done so far in your life actually matters as much as trhis ass whoopin I’m about to serve you like it was lunch at the Harlem SOUP KITCHEN! FREE OF CHARGE but will probably come at the detriment of your insides! Because one positive about all the pain you are finna go through is on account that I sir am actual GREATNESS where you…well you are

!!!!!YoU!!!!
…ANd WELL LIKE I SAID HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

SO for one night when you are as close to the real deal as you have ever been before…INbetween fist slamming into your face do try and take as many mental notes as you can until I force your brain to start bleeding. Because you don’t know what this thing is all about, you haven’t the slightest notion of what it means to make an IMPACT…Because making the type of impact I am about to make aint about just splattering your shit all over the ring. Its about forcing any and every phuckin dildo on the OCW roster, presently or perspectively will be forced to look up and take notice at the man

!!!!LaUGHING La$T!!!!
MaKInG THe RiGHT IMPaCT HeLPS DeLieVeR THe MESSaGe…

…ANd what’s the message you ask EK-ToR??? Here have another look!

Jestyr has the screen immediately go back to the murial painted brightly on the side of his run down building…Only this time it’s during the day, its actually kinda early but there is already a small crowd gathered underneath it pointing and examining it, as people are walking by holding up their phones like the mouth breathin TWATS they all are, and then we cut back to Je$TyR still driving through farms in his truck…

Je$TyR SeRyOu$: THe message my thickheaded amigo is that I went to great…GREAT LENGTHS to not just Di$Re$PeCT YOU, but I did it in your own

!!!!F’N BACKYARD!!!!
…ANd WeLL iF YOU DiD TiME iN THe BiG HoUSe I AiNT GoTTa SPLAIN THe INSuLT TO YA…DO I?

SO even if God does come down and divinely intervene on your behalf, win, lose, or draw I STILL get to

!!!!F’N WIN!!!
CaUsE THe PaInTING SHaLL ReMaIN TiLL I F’N SaY OTHeRWi$E!!!

SO you and everyone else who used to live in any close vicinity to you will know that NOT EVERYONE RESPECTZ KROW! Its a matter of phuckin principle! Even if they ALL did respect you once upon a time…even if I’m the only one who doesn’t…I promise you that number grows drastically when the ref wakes you up and informs you shit didn’t EXaCCCCTLy Go YoUR WAY!!! Because

? Y F’N WOULD THEY ?
…No NOTHING WiTTy TO SaY HeRe I Am ACTuaLLy F’N CuRiOUS???

And to make sure I really drove the point home, I had to make sure this war was waged on two fronts…Because here your home in HARLEM has been successfully invaded by yourz truly…ANd now I attack you at your new home here in OCW…ANd I just wnat you to know I did this because I wanted you to understand HoW WELCOMe YOU ARE HERE…SO here this is for you PAL!!!

Scene then cuts to tomorrow night when BATTLEGROUND once again goes live and THe BoURBoN STReeT BaD GuY, Je$TyR SeRyoU$, hands KROW the most SeRyOu$ public asswhoopin he’s ever taken in his life…But before that these assholes have to show up to the arena and walk to the back to their locker to get dressed right?...So this is what KROW will see when he arrives, because we have a camera walking from the parking lot, into the arena, down the halls…a left here a right there and into the men’s locker room. We come right up to a locker with the name KROW on it…The camera looks down and we see a stinky, nasty pile of bloody dead crows piled up in his locker…There is a note attached that has the name fingerpainted on the envelope that says…KROW…

A hand opens up the folded up paper and holds it so we can all read it…or hear it narrated by THe SeRyOu$ one HiMSELF!!!

Je$TyR SeRyoU$: DEAR, DUMBASS…DO you know what they CaLL a FLoCK oF CRoWZ???....BAMMMP TIMEZ UP….THEY CALL IT A

!!!!!M.U.R.D.E.R.!!!!!
Go To THe CONCeSSiON STaND anD GeT YoU a TWIX, SO YoU CaN CHeW THaT OnE OVER FoR a TiCK!!!!...DICK!!!

…And yes that is a between the lines reference to what I’m prepared to do to you in order to walk out of Battleground with my first victory under my belt! BEcause you KROW are beneath me, and I really cant wait to do a RiVeRDaNCE on YOUR FACE…Or as they are starting to refer to it ALL OVER the rasslin BIZ THESE DAYS…THe SeRyoU$ SHuFFLE…HA no I’m just playin I call it the BEDTIME STORY! How funny is that?...WeLL honestly my favorite part is what follows…Cause after the bell rings and the announcer informs everyone you didn’t win…It’s the stupid look on your face…The confused, angry but aint shit I can do about look in your face that lets me know I did what I did better than you ad thats what I mean when I tell CHUMP BITCH BUSTERZ LIKE YOU TO

!!!!SoaK!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!
…OHH OCW ARE THERE SOME DARK DAYS ON THE HORIZON FOR YOU ASSHOLEZ!!!!

…BLAKE ANDERSON I’M STILL LOOKIN AT YOU PUSSY BOY!!!!

See yall AT BATTLEGROUND La PuNTa MaDRES!!!!

ANd all we hear is evil laughter that doesn’t stop as we continue to glare at the pile of DEAD Crows shoved into this dildo’s locker…Get the picture KROW?...Cause uhhh we painted a pretty good pretty one for you BUD!!! ENJOY…ohh and please don’t F”n FoRGeT

…It’s BeeN YoUR PLea$uRE!!!
(LoNG LiVE THe F’N DoN oF DI$Re$PeCT..NoBoDy F’N DuZ IT BeTTeR…AND DON’T YALL FoRGeT IT)

4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??