Post by jestyrseryous on Feb 13, 2024 17:45:07 GMT -5
Ladies and gentlemen it is with great pride and pleasure we here @ BRAZZERZ/SeRyOuS EnTeRTaINMeNT bring you the first of what is to be countless
But people, bare this shit in mind K?...LAUGH!...Cause if you don’t you’ll GO F’N MAD! Ohh and to any and everyone we mayhapz happen to offend with this production, we would just like every single one of you know that in no way, shape, form, or fashion are we anything even in the neighborhood of
Now having said that without further ado, we bring you the first SeRyOuS PRoDuCTION of 2024, ladies and gentlemen we proudly present to you…
Welcome to OuTKaST ELeMeNTaRy, as you can see for yourselves this isn’t exactly HARVARD, but ya know there is only one HAVARD so don’t get down, because the good news is despite the shabby facilities and underfunded faculty there is one truly positive thing here that truly trumps all the negative aspects, and that boyz and girls is the simple fact that despite it’s appearances this place is a literal hot bed of
…Which unfortunately for most of these FuGGIN DWEEBZ that is precisely where I come on. So as you see an establishing shot of Principal Balor standing out by the carpool line waving at all of her students as they begrudgingly get out of their parents vehicles and make there way inside for another day of KINDERGARTEN!!!
Yup you’ll notice the likenesses of some of your favorite OCW superstars. Some easier to spot than others yes, but the point is you recognize them by their clothing, mannerisms, and attitudes, and if you don’t well then maybe start watching OCW cause it’s dope yall LiKe 4 REALLL!!!
ANYWHO…Scene then quickly cuts to your typical morning classroom full of vibrant youth and well…Judging by these bad ass kids sternleader ship is something they presently lack…But don’t worry Principal Balor recently made a HiGHeR that will change all of that in very short order…Matter of fact that change begins in
…3
(WhICH MEaNZ CLa$$ iN F’N SeSSiON)
Now typically in most classes everyone understands that the sound of the bell means mouth shut, eyes forward, and most importantly MiNDZ OPeN!!!! After all learning is the reason they are here, but these unruly OuTKaSTZ apparently don’t see it that way…That is until a very loud voice pierces the growing sound of their voices as they seemingly all are trying to talk over each other…
VOICE: ASSES IN SEATS AND EYES UP FRONT
…And now since you already got the shutting up part down pretty good…MuCH to my SuRPRiZE!! I am now going to have to ask you all to take our your books and turn to…Jesus what are the teaching you turdz these days?...PHUCK IT…Turn to page 1 and we will just start where your teacher should have, AT THE BEGINNING!!!
…However wouldn’t ya know it, just before the good DoCToR could begin his lesson the door to the classroom swings open and in walks this woman who is falling out of every part of what is supposed to be her “school uniform” She even has her face painted up just like the good DOKToR...Clearly this is one you don’t recognize (well some of you), so we will tell you this is Ms. BeHaVe, she is one of Jestyr’s many adult fil actresses, who has began joining him during his exploits in the pro rasslin…And she is in this class dressed (we guess you can call it) like this because well she says…
Ms. BeHaVe: WHAT? Every classroom needs the slutty girls…
Dr. SeRyOuS glares at her intensely for a moment as if trying to figure this out before it gets more out of hand then it is presently in the process of…But the more he searches the more he is drawn back to the same conclusion…
Dr. SeRyOuS: Behave…? The phuck you doin this is KINDERGARTEN for phucks sake!
Ms. BeHaVe: But Dr. J they are starting em really early these days…THought you wanted this to be realamistic…
Dr. SeRyOuS: I’m sorry to be…NeVeRMiND…Startin them early is your argument???…Wait OHHH YES the TIKTOK and what not, huh?
Ms. BeHaVe: Yeah that’s one of em!
Dr. SeRyOu$: OK fine, take a seat and for phucks sakes BeHaVe
…K?
Ms. BeHaVe: SURE Dr. J, whatever you say!
Dr. SeRyoUS: Ohh and I am gunna need to see you after class to discuss that…well I guess it’s a uniform! BUT NOT NOW! NO! STOP! SIT!
BeHaVe pokes her hiney out as she makes her way to her seat while the Doctor buries his head in his hands, as he then looks up at the class full of children who are struggling to put the pieces together. Dr. SeRyOuS then shuffles some papers on his desk and goes to begin his lesson again, only the door swings open once more, and his head falls, his blue hair now hanging in his face he looks up to find himself looking at apparently one of the students. He is short just like the rest of the LiL ONEZ in here, but still there is something else about this one. I mean its almost like Abercrombie & FITCH started using toddlers for their ads instead of the dildos they use presently. But you can tell by the way he walks into the room apparently he is MUCH MUCH cooler than everyone here. He stops in front of DR. SeRyOuS’s desk and goes to speak.
Late KiD: Hey Im Ma…
Dr. SeRyOuS: Yes of course you are…But you know what else you are there BuD?...LATE! NOW take a seat and shut up, and if there is nothing else maybe we can actually get to the learning part of all this?
The kid doesn’t even seem insulted by any of that he just nonchalantly shrugs and walks over to where this dweeb is sitting with a bowl cut that looks like he did it himself with his eyes closed, and tshirt that says REBELLION on it (HiS NaME IS PROBaBLy BLAKE). ANyway the new kid shoves him out of the seat and then sits down like no one was there at all. The kid with the REBELLION shirt looks up in horror, as his eyes dart of Dr. SeRyOuS who doesn’t seem bothered by this at all, so the kid cries out…
LiL BLaKe: MISTER SER…
Dr. SeRyoUS: DOCTOR!
LiL BLaKe: Um no sir we just have a nurse I think?
Dr. SeRyoUS: NO nitwit…I’m A DOCTOR! I have a PHD in PRO RASSLIN, so it’s in your best interest to listen to me, because clearly your last instructor taught yall pretty much next to nothing, and well there is only so much time in a day…Ohh wait kid, why are you still on the got damn ground?
LiL BLaKe: He push…
Dr. SeRyOuS: Yeah I saw that, look next time someone pushes you like that you either PUSH THEM BACK…HARDER or you just find some where else to sit, but either way crying aint an option, so please don’t do it!..EVER! Cause they will never let ya live it down I PROMISE YOU! Now, if we are done with whatever this is…? Perhaps we can begi…OHH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Someone wake up blonde girl and Wednesday Adams over there and tell them that if they do that shit again I’ll tell everyone THEY WERE SLEEPING TOGETHER!!!
LiL Blake gets up and goes and takes a seat behind the blonde hair chick passed out in front of him and he nudges her on the back waking her up, as the new kid kicks the desk on the side of him with some “Gothic” looking dude who immediately shoot up and sit straight in their seats. Dr. SeRyOuS looks his class over and raises his eyebrows and sighs realizing just how full his hands are now and will be for the foreseeable future! But Principal Balor did tell him it would be a challenge. So baring this in mind he shrugs and then makes his way over to LiL Blake’s (new) desk. He bends down by his book bag and picks up the kids JENNY MYST lunchbox and opens it.
He thumbs through it and tosses out the bag of raw carrots. He does however take the Fruit Roll UP, the PB&J SaMMiCH with the CRUSTS CuTeLy cutoff, and the juice box…Ohh wait it’s apple juice nevermind, he puts it back in the box and closes it and then looks at the kid like the idiot he is. He then opens the sandwich bag and takes a bite as he then walks over and sits on the top of his desk as he looks at the kids who are looking at him like he’z NuCKIN FUTZ!
He of course notices this, and rolls his eyes as he points to the blonde girl who was assed out a few seconds ago, but now all of a sudden has some ?’s…F’N TYPICAL!
Dr. SeRyOuS: YEAH BLONDE GIRL?...Please don’t ask me anything stupid, I haven’t anymore tolerance for it this morning!
Blonde Girl…Let’s just for fun call her Bella, looks at her new teacher and is taken back by his blatant disregard for her feelings as she asks whateveryone else is thinking…
BellaBLoNDey: Where is Ms. Tox?
Dr. SeRyOuS takes another bite of his PB&J and makes a weird face as he bends over and spits it out in the garbage can, as he looks up brushes off his mouth and answers the girls ?
Dr. SeRyoUS: Short answer BLONDEY is WHO CARES?...Long answer is well at this point with the evidence at our disposal I suppose she is actually somewhere trying to get an online medical degree so she can then use it to treat her own injuries! It’s the only logical explanation at this point! I have been brought here to replace her, and judging by what I’ve seen so far you people need me ALMOST AS MUCH IF NOT MORE than Corey Black needs a
Now like I’m pretty sure I said a few minutes ago, please shut up and open your phucking books to page 1!
…They don’t move. It’s almost like they have no got damn clue what he is talking about. So he hops off the desk and looks around almost as astounded as they are…
Dr. SeRyOuS: Look I know this is pretend KINDGERGARTEN but you muddah phuckerz do know how to read, write…I mean right?
Suddenly this rather large dude who’s mullet has an even uglier mullet and thick rimmed gas station sunglasses on says…
DaM MuLLeT: Uh Ms. Tox never made us use no book Dr. SeRyOuS!
Dr. SeRyOuS stops dead in his tracks as he walks over to the whiteboard. His head sinks again, as he then reaches up and pulls down the projector screen. He then walks over towards the door and forcefully turns the lights off. He motions for the gothic dude he called WeDnESDAY ADAMS to pull up the projector screen, which he does. Dr. SeRyOUS then walls over and looks through a folder of projector slides and he plops down one that is clearly the OCW FIGHT4 Championship belt. He then looks up at the class and says…
Dr. SeRyOuS: K, kidz, who can tell me what this is?
LiL BLaKe: A WRESTLING BELT!
Dr. SeRyOuS: Well DONE Private you keep that shit up, and you’ll be promoted to Captain before you actually hit puberty! YES CLEARLY IT’S A WRESTLING BELT…Can anyone maybe be more specific?
Bella Blondey: It’s the OUTCAST CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING FIGHT4 Championship belt Dr. SeRyOUS!
Dr. SeRyOuS: THANK YOU! Blake sit as close to her as you can for as long as you can if you ever want to have anything resembling a prayer on how to get outta here! But yes! THANK YOU, I was starting to think all of yall were BRAINDEAD or something! BUT YES…OCW FIght4 CHAMPIONSHIP…Now which one of you can tell me what the phucking phuck a FIGHT4 Championship is?
…Again crickets. SHEER AND UTTER AWKWARD SILENCE. Only this time Dr. SeRyOUS doesn’t seem to be enraged by this. Instead he walks back over to the wall turning the lights back on as he goes to take his seat back ontop of his desk. He then laughs before he catches himself and then answers.
Dr. SeRyOUS: Don’t worry CHILDREN, I actually am asking because not even I have a PHUCKING CLUE WHAT IT IS! But all of that is about to change, because you see the reason your soon to be FORMER FIGHT4 instructor is fixing to be FORMER is because she failed to teach you all what it means to hold such an honor! You see when wrestling companies such as OCW ELEMENTARY are going through transitional phases like this one is now, it is absolutely
…And well that is why Principal Balor could no longer tolerate Ms. Tox’s oversights and blunders! Because the CHAMPIONS in each wrestling promotion are supposed to be viewed as the top competitors in the entire company. Yes there can only be ONE WORLD CHAMPION, and they are the best no doubt…But from top to bottom the best wrestling promotions see stiff competition in every single division, and well if you kids who have been here way longer than I can’t phucking tell me what a got damn FIGHT4 Division even is…Well that tells ya right there all you need to know about Ms. Tox and her reign as FIGHT4 CHAMPION!
Ms. BeHaVe: hehehehe STIFF!
Dr. SeRyOuS shoots her a SHARP DAGGER OF A LOOK, as her smile almost vanishes ya know if there wasn’t another (bigger) one painted on her face. He rolls his eyes and carries on.
Dr. SeRyOu$: You see CHILDREN, people like Ms. Tox think that ownership of the belt make her a CHAMPION…ANd that is one of the main reasons I was brought here, because this cannot become common practice. NO! DO any of you know what CHAMPIONS DO?...No I didn’t think so! You see Ms. Tox is the present holder of the OCW FIGHT4 Title, but that doesn’t make her a CHAMPION, look at Blake back there for phucks sake! Any one of you asshat can win a title while you’re out there! But know this…None of you will ever BE A CHAMPION until you got out there and prove you deserve it. SO to put it plainly boyz and girls Title holders win titles, CHAMPIONZ
Cause if you are in what should be considered a position of honor in competing for one of your company’s top prizes then you should do any and everything you can to not only live up to the expectation, but surpass it! CHAMPIONS are supposed to be a cut above and its one of the best ways to get noticed and work your way up the OCW ladder…But people like your former teacher wind up doing more detriment to their “TITLES” than the recognition their name’s ever did by winning it…And that is why I am going to be forced to walk out on Pay Per VIEW, and stomp that bitch out like she was
Because whatever she is has run its course in not just the FIGHT4 DiViSION, but in the OCW in general! She looks like a DOLLAR GENERAL STORE BARBIE whose hair falls out the moment you take it out of the package, and while this may have been acceptable once upon a time, Ms. Balor and MYSELF agree this can no longer be the case, because for this place to improve we need all of you to IMPROVE! And well that just means things are about to get SO VERY MUCH HARDER on all of you, because I am not a DO AS I SAY NoT DO AS I DO KINDA TEACHER…By the time the OCW pay per view has come and gone, OCW will have a brand new FIGHT4 CHAMPION, and that is when the REAL CHANGES can begin!
Suddenly Dr. SeRyOU$’s PARAMOUT LESSON on what it means to hold a CHAMPIONSHIP in any given wrestling promotion is interrupted by the bell signaling the end of this particular class period. As usual the kids immediately pack their things away and start jabbering whatever nonsense they jabber about inbetween classes. However the look on Dr. SeRyOu$’s face indicates that he feels some kinda way about this…WHich he proves shortly thereafter by shouting…
Je$TyR SeRyOu$: I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T SIT YOUR ASSES BACK IN THE GOT DAMN SEATS THIS INSTANT I”LL BEAT YOU ALL LIKE YOU STOLE SOMETHING! AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TRY ME…THEN PLEASE TRY ME!!! THe bell doesn’t dismiss you, and I have not done so…SO sit down and shut up or I will sit you down and SHUT YOU UP MYSELF COMPRENDE?...Ohh and please feel free to share any of this with your parents because I’ll gladly treat them the same way during whatever free period of the day they have to come for a parent teacher conference! Seriously mother phuckers I WILL PUT YOU DICKBAGS IN THE TRUNK AND
Now what did we learn today? BEHAVE YOU KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE GUTTER WHERE THEY BELONG…PUT YOUR GOT DAMN HAND DOWN!!! MULLET YOU LEARN ANYTHING TODAY OR WHAT D-BaG?
Dam MuLLeT: Um, Ms. Tox sucks?
Dr. SeRyOuS: Yeah that was part of it…OK, so here is what we are going to do…You poor little TiNK-TINX are gunna go home, you are gunna get on your computers or find a piece of paper and something to write with…ANd you are going to list every single CHAMPIONSHIP in the only wrestling promotion that matters going forward here in Outcast Championship Wrestling and you will write a four to five paragraph essay on what it means to hold each one…And if you don’t then well brace for impact and be prepared for me to dump you and what remains of your careers into a public toilet like
Does everyone understand?....DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND?
Class: Yes DOK-TOR SeRyOuS!!!
Dr. SeRyOu$: WOW you guys actually can learn, good I was worried as phuck about that…K well…
Ohhh and guys and gals, you would also all do well at the end of each class from here on out to make it a point that you not just listen to the shit I tell ya, but also APPLY IT! You do that boyz and girls and you will then know first hand what I mean when I tell the rest of the assholes just like everyone of yall when I tell em to
…Wait hold the phuck up where do you assbagz think yall are going? They have lunch, recess, and naptime to get to…This is kindergarten after all! But you sitting at home or wherever watching this shit. Outcast Championship Wrestling officially turns the page and begins a brand new chapter in it’s story that will one day become wrestling history! Because this is the show where SHIT OFFICIALLY CHANGES, and yes these changes all of them will be F’N SeRyOU$!! But we will cross that metaphorical bridge when we arrive to it…We still have one more stop to make as we have a faculty meeting up next when Je$TyR sits down and discusses the eventual and well inevitable dismissal of what history will very soon refer to as the WORST CHAMPION in OCW HISTORY!...But again more on that later…Till then just take solace in the fact that this time…Just like all them udder timez
…HaS BeeN YOUR PLea$uRE
~$~ PRiCeLe$$ PRoDuCTiONZ ~$~
THe TRuE MeaNinG oF LiFe ImITaTiNG ART!!!!
But people, bare this shit in mind K?...LAUGH!...Cause if you don’t you’ll GO F’N MAD! Ohh and to any and everyone we mayhapz happen to offend with this production, we would just like every single one of you know that in no way, shape, form, or fashion are we anything even in the neighborhood of
!!!!SoRRy!!!!!
CaUse IF THiS SHiT oFFeNDZ YOU…IT WAS DONE DELIBERATELY, K LuV U K Bye!!!!
Now having said that without further ado, we bring you the first SeRyOuS PRoDuCTION of 2024, ladies and gentlemen we proudly present to you…
THe NoT So Fa$T TiMeZ @ OuTKa$T ELeMeNTaRy!!!!
Welcome to OuTKaST ELeMeNTaRy, as you can see for yourselves this isn’t exactly HARVARD, but ya know there is only one HAVARD so don’t get down, because the good news is despite the shabby facilities and underfunded faculty there is one truly positive thing here that truly trumps all the negative aspects, and that boyz and girls is the simple fact that despite it’s appearances this place is a literal hot bed of
~$~ PoTeNTiaL ~$~
…And Potential Can NeVeR Be MoRE THaN SIMPLY THAT UNTIL SOMEONE TEACHES AND OR INSPIRES THEM TO APPLY THEMSELVEZ!!!
…Which unfortunately for most of these FuGGIN DWEEBZ that is precisely where I come on. So as you see an establishing shot of Principal Balor standing out by the carpool line waving at all of her students as they begrudgingly get out of their parents vehicles and make there way inside for another day of KINDERGARTEN!!!
Yup you’ll notice the likenesses of some of your favorite OCW superstars. Some easier to spot than others yes, but the point is you recognize them by their clothing, mannerisms, and attitudes, and if you don’t well then maybe start watching OCW cause it’s dope yall LiKe 4 REALLL!!!
ANYWHO…Scene then quickly cuts to your typical morning classroom full of vibrant youth and well…Judging by these bad ass kids sternleader ship is something they presently lack…But don’t worry Principal Balor recently made a HiGHeR that will change all of that in very short order…Matter of fact that change begins in
…3
..2
.1
::::::::::::::::::RiNGGGG::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Now typically in most classes everyone understands that the sound of the bell means mouth shut, eyes forward, and most importantly MiNDZ OPeN!!!! After all learning is the reason they are here, but these unruly OuTKaSTZ apparently don’t see it that way…That is until a very loud voice pierces the growing sound of their voices as they seemingly all are trying to talk over each other…
VOICE: ASSES IN SEATS AND EYES UP FRONT
!!!!!C.H.I.L.D.R.E.N!!!!
MY NaMe iS Dr. SeRyOuS and I WILL BE TaKiNG OVeR THiS CLaSS EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!
…And now since you already got the shutting up part down pretty good…MuCH to my SuRPRiZE!! I am now going to have to ask you all to take our your books and turn to…Jesus what are the teaching you turdz these days?...PHUCK IT…Turn to page 1 and we will just start where your teacher should have, AT THE BEGINNING!!!
…However wouldn’t ya know it, just before the good DoCToR could begin his lesson the door to the classroom swings open and in walks this woman who is falling out of every part of what is supposed to be her “school uniform” She even has her face painted up just like the good DOKToR...Clearly this is one you don’t recognize (well some of you), so we will tell you this is Ms. BeHaVe, she is one of Jestyr’s many adult fil actresses, who has began joining him during his exploits in the pro rasslin…And she is in this class dressed (we guess you can call it) like this because well she says…
Ms. BeHaVe: WHAT? Every classroom needs the slutty girls…
Dr. SeRyOuS glares at her intensely for a moment as if trying to figure this out before it gets more out of hand then it is presently in the process of…But the more he searches the more he is drawn back to the same conclusion…
Dr. SeRyOuS: Behave…? The phuck you doin this is KINDERGARTEN for phucks sake!
Ms. BeHaVe: But Dr. J they are starting em really early these days…THought you wanted this to be realamistic…
Dr. SeRyOuS: I’m sorry to be…NeVeRMiND…Startin them early is your argument???…Wait OHHH YES the TIKTOK and what not, huh?
Ms. BeHaVe: Yeah that’s one of em!
Dr. SeRyOu$: OK fine, take a seat and for phucks sakes BeHaVe
!!!!!BEF’NHAVE!!!!!
…THIS IS SOME SeRyOUS SHIT, COMPRENDRE???
…K?
Ms. BeHaVe: SURE Dr. J, whatever you say!
Dr. SeRyoUS: Ohh and I am gunna need to see you after class to discuss that…well I guess it’s a uniform! BUT NOT NOW! NO! STOP! SIT!
BeHaVe pokes her hiney out as she makes her way to her seat while the Doctor buries his head in his hands, as he then looks up at the class full of children who are struggling to put the pieces together. Dr. SeRyOuS then shuffles some papers on his desk and goes to begin his lesson again, only the door swings open once more, and his head falls, his blue hair now hanging in his face he looks up to find himself looking at apparently one of the students. He is short just like the rest of the LiL ONEZ in here, but still there is something else about this one. I mean its almost like Abercrombie & FITCH started using toddlers for their ads instead of the dildos they use presently. But you can tell by the way he walks into the room apparently he is MUCH MUCH cooler than everyone here. He stops in front of DR. SeRyOuS’s desk and goes to speak.
Late KiD: Hey Im Ma…
Dr. SeRyOuS: Yes of course you are…But you know what else you are there BuD?...LATE! NOW take a seat and shut up, and if there is nothing else maybe we can actually get to the learning part of all this?
The kid doesn’t even seem insulted by any of that he just nonchalantly shrugs and walks over to where this dweeb is sitting with a bowl cut that looks like he did it himself with his eyes closed, and tshirt that says REBELLION on it (HiS NaME IS PROBaBLy BLAKE). ANyway the new kid shoves him out of the seat and then sits down like no one was there at all. The kid with the REBELLION shirt looks up in horror, as his eyes dart of Dr. SeRyOuS who doesn’t seem bothered by this at all, so the kid cries out…
LiL BLaKe: MISTER SER…
Dr. SeRyoUS: DOCTOR!
LiL BLaKe: Um no sir we just have a nurse I think?
Dr. SeRyoUS: NO nitwit…I’m A DOCTOR! I have a PHD in PRO RASSLIN, so it’s in your best interest to listen to me, because clearly your last instructor taught yall pretty much next to nothing, and well there is only so much time in a day…Ohh wait kid, why are you still on the got damn ground?
LiL BLaKe: He push…
Dr. SeRyOuS: Yeah I saw that, look next time someone pushes you like that you either PUSH THEM BACK…HARDER or you just find some where else to sit, but either way crying aint an option, so please don’t do it!..EVER! Cause they will never let ya live it down I PROMISE YOU! Now, if we are done with whatever this is…? Perhaps we can begi…OHH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Someone wake up blonde girl and Wednesday Adams over there and tell them that if they do that shit again I’ll tell everyone THEY WERE SLEEPING TOGETHER!!!
LiL Blake gets up and goes and takes a seat behind the blonde hair chick passed out in front of him and he nudges her on the back waking her up, as the new kid kicks the desk on the side of him with some “Gothic” looking dude who immediately shoot up and sit straight in their seats. Dr. SeRyOuS looks his class over and raises his eyebrows and sighs realizing just how full his hands are now and will be for the foreseeable future! But Principal Balor did tell him it would be a challenge. So baring this in mind he shrugs and then makes his way over to LiL Blake’s (new) desk. He bends down by his book bag and picks up the kids JENNY MYST lunchbox and opens it.
He thumbs through it and tosses out the bag of raw carrots. He does however take the Fruit Roll UP, the PB&J SaMMiCH with the CRUSTS CuTeLy cutoff, and the juice box…Ohh wait it’s apple juice nevermind, he puts it back in the box and closes it and then looks at the kid like the idiot he is. He then opens the sandwich bag and takes a bite as he then walks over and sits on the top of his desk as he looks at the kids who are looking at him like he’z NuCKIN FUTZ!
He of course notices this, and rolls his eyes as he points to the blonde girl who was assed out a few seconds ago, but now all of a sudden has some ?’s…F’N TYPICAL!
Dr. SeRyOuS: YEAH BLONDE GIRL?...Please don’t ask me anything stupid, I haven’t anymore tolerance for it this morning!
Blonde Girl…Let’s just for fun call her Bella, looks at her new teacher and is taken back by his blatant disregard for her feelings as she asks whateveryone else is thinking…
BellaBLoNDey: Where is Ms. Tox?
Dr. SeRyOuS takes another bite of his PB&J and makes a weird face as he bends over and spits it out in the garbage can, as he looks up brushes off his mouth and answers the girls ?
Dr. SeRyoUS: Short answer BLONDEY is WHO CARES?...Long answer is well at this point with the evidence at our disposal I suppose she is actually somewhere trying to get an online medical degree so she can then use it to treat her own injuries! It’s the only logical explanation at this point! I have been brought here to replace her, and judging by what I’ve seen so far you people need me ALMOST AS MUCH IF NOT MORE than Corey Black needs a
!!!!!PeRSoNaLiTy!!!!!
…OR AT LEAST ONE THAT MayBe DoESN’T HaVe ALL THE APPEAL OF A WET BLANKET!
Now like I’m pretty sure I said a few minutes ago, please shut up and open your phucking books to page 1!
…They don’t move. It’s almost like they have no got damn clue what he is talking about. So he hops off the desk and looks around almost as astounded as they are…
Dr. SeRyOuS: Look I know this is pretend KINDGERGARTEN but you muddah phuckerz do know how to read, write…I mean right?
Suddenly this rather large dude who’s mullet has an even uglier mullet and thick rimmed gas station sunglasses on says…
DaM MuLLeT: Uh Ms. Tox never made us use no book Dr. SeRyOuS!
Dr. SeRyOuS stops dead in his tracks as he walks over to the whiteboard. His head sinks again, as he then reaches up and pulls down the projector screen. He then walks over towards the door and forcefully turns the lights off. He motions for the gothic dude he called WeDnESDAY ADAMS to pull up the projector screen, which he does. Dr. SeRyOUS then walls over and looks through a folder of projector slides and he plops down one that is clearly the OCW FIGHT4 Championship belt. He then looks up at the class and says…
Dr. SeRyOuS: K, kidz, who can tell me what this is?
LiL BLaKe: A WRESTLING BELT!
Dr. SeRyOuS: Well DONE Private you keep that shit up, and you’ll be promoted to Captain before you actually hit puberty! YES CLEARLY IT’S A WRESTLING BELT…Can anyone maybe be more specific?
Bella Blondey: It’s the OUTCAST CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING FIGHT4 Championship belt Dr. SeRyOUS!
Dr. SeRyOuS: THANK YOU! Blake sit as close to her as you can for as long as you can if you ever want to have anything resembling a prayer on how to get outta here! But yes! THANK YOU, I was starting to think all of yall were BRAINDEAD or something! BUT YES…OCW FIght4 CHAMPIONSHIP…Now which one of you can tell me what the phucking phuck a FIGHT4 Championship is?
…Again crickets. SHEER AND UTTER AWKWARD SILENCE. Only this time Dr. SeRyOUS doesn’t seem to be enraged by this. Instead he walks back over to the wall turning the lights back on as he goes to take his seat back ontop of his desk. He then laughs before he catches himself and then answers.
Dr. SeRyOUS: Don’t worry CHILDREN, I actually am asking because not even I have a PHUCKING CLUE WHAT IT IS! But all of that is about to change, because you see the reason your soon to be FORMER FIGHT4 instructor is fixing to be FORMER is because she failed to teach you all what it means to hold such an honor! You see when wrestling companies such as OCW ELEMENTARY are going through transitional phases like this one is now, it is absolutely
!!!!F’N PARAMOUNT!!!!
THAT THE CHAMPION DEFINE THEIR CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
…And well that is why Principal Balor could no longer tolerate Ms. Tox’s oversights and blunders! Because the CHAMPIONS in each wrestling promotion are supposed to be viewed as the top competitors in the entire company. Yes there can only be ONE WORLD CHAMPION, and they are the best no doubt…But from top to bottom the best wrestling promotions see stiff competition in every single division, and well if you kids who have been here way longer than I can’t phucking tell me what a got damn FIGHT4 Division even is…Well that tells ya right there all you need to know about Ms. Tox and her reign as FIGHT4 CHAMPION!
Ms. BeHaVe: hehehehe STIFF!
Dr. SeRyOuS shoots her a SHARP DAGGER OF A LOOK, as her smile almost vanishes ya know if there wasn’t another (bigger) one painted on her face. He rolls his eyes and carries on.
Dr. SeRyOu$: You see CHILDREN, people like Ms. Tox think that ownership of the belt make her a CHAMPION…ANd that is one of the main reasons I was brought here, because this cannot become common practice. NO! DO any of you know what CHAMPIONS DO?...No I didn’t think so! You see Ms. Tox is the present holder of the OCW FIGHT4 Title, but that doesn’t make her a CHAMPION, look at Blake back there for phucks sake! Any one of you asshat can win a title while you’re out there! But know this…None of you will ever BE A CHAMPION until you got out there and prove you deserve it. SO to put it plainly boyz and girls Title holders win titles, CHAMPIONZ
!!!!F’N RETAIN THEM!!!!
…WhiCH MEANS THEY DEFEND THEM! THE MORE TIMES THE BETTER!!!
!!!!ON FiRE!!!!
…WHICH SHE ISN’T AND HASN’T BEEN FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW!!!
Because whatever she is has run its course in not just the FIGHT4 DiViSION, but in the OCW in general! She looks like a DOLLAR GENERAL STORE BARBIE whose hair falls out the moment you take it out of the package, and while this may have been acceptable once upon a time, Ms. Balor and MYSELF agree this can no longer be the case, because for this place to improve we need all of you to IMPROVE! And well that just means things are about to get SO VERY MUCH HARDER on all of you, because I am not a DO AS I SAY NoT DO AS I DO KINDA TEACHER…By the time the OCW pay per view has come and gone, OCW will have a brand new FIGHT4 CHAMPION, and that is when the REAL CHANGES can begin!
Suddenly Dr. SeRyOU$’s PARAMOUT LESSON on what it means to hold a CHAMPIONSHIP in any given wrestling promotion is interrupted by the bell signaling the end of this particular class period. As usual the kids immediately pack their things away and start jabbering whatever nonsense they jabber about inbetween classes. However the look on Dr. SeRyOu$’s face indicates that he feels some kinda way about this…WHich he proves shortly thereafter by shouting…
Je$TyR SeRyOu$: I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T SIT YOUR ASSES BACK IN THE GOT DAMN SEATS THIS INSTANT I”LL BEAT YOU ALL LIKE YOU STOLE SOMETHING! AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TRY ME…THEN PLEASE TRY ME!!! THe bell doesn’t dismiss you, and I have not done so…SO sit down and shut up or I will sit you down and SHUT YOU UP MYSELF COMPRENDE?...Ohh and please feel free to share any of this with your parents because I’ll gladly treat them the same way during whatever free period of the day they have to come for a parent teacher conference! Seriously mother phuckers I WILL PUT YOU DICKBAGS IN THE TRUNK AND
!!!!!F’N HELP PEOPLE LOOK FOR YOU!!!!!
…DON’T PLAY WITH ME!!!!
Now what did we learn today? BEHAVE YOU KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE GUTTER WHERE THEY BELONG…PUT YOUR GOT DAMN HAND DOWN!!! MULLET YOU LEARN ANYTHING TODAY OR WHAT D-BaG?
Dam MuLLeT: Um, Ms. Tox sucks?
Dr. SeRyOuS: Yeah that was part of it…OK, so here is what we are going to do…You poor little TiNK-TINX are gunna go home, you are gunna get on your computers or find a piece of paper and something to write with…ANd you are going to list every single CHAMPIONSHIP in the only wrestling promotion that matters going forward here in Outcast Championship Wrestling and you will write a four to five paragraph essay on what it means to hold each one…And if you don’t then well brace for impact and be prepared for me to dump you and what remains of your careers into a public toilet like
~$~ THuNDER PRO WRESTLING ~$~
…AND AGAIN IF YOU THINK I WON’T DO IT…ALLZ YA GOTTA DO IS TRY ME!!!
Does everyone understand?....DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND?
Class: Yes DOK-TOR SeRyOuS!!!
Dr. SeRyOu$: WOW you guys actually can learn, good I was worried as phuck about that…K well…
!!!!!CLASS F’N DI$MiSSED!!!!
MaKe SURE YoU TWATZ ENJOY NAP TIME WHILE YOU STILL GOT ONE!!!
Ohhh and guys and gals, you would also all do well at the end of each class from here on out to make it a point that you not just listen to the shit I tell ya, but also APPLY IT! You do that boyz and girls and you will then know first hand what I mean when I tell the rest of the assholes just like everyone of yall when I tell em to
!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!!
…Wait hold the phuck up where do you assbagz think yall are going? They have lunch, recess, and naptime to get to…This is kindergarten after all! But you sitting at home or wherever watching this shit. Outcast Championship Wrestling officially turns the page and begins a brand new chapter in it’s story that will one day become wrestling history! Because this is the show where SHIT OFFICIALLY CHANGES, and yes these changes all of them will be F’N SeRyOU$!! But we will cross that metaphorical bridge when we arrive to it…We still have one more stop to make as we have a faculty meeting up next when Je$TyR sits down and discusses the eventual and well inevitable dismissal of what history will very soon refer to as the WORST CHAMPION in OCW HISTORY!...But again more on that later…Till then just take solace in the fact that this time…Just like all them udder timez
…HaS BeeN YOUR PLea$uRE
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNUTe??