Post by colossus on Jun 29, 2023 14:28:06 GMT -5
“My name is Dick Trickle, and I am here to tell you why I am pissed off.
Wrestling just isn’t the same anymore, and you ruined it. All of you. All of you and your incessant NEED to be relevant behind a keyboard, and the media tags on your ‘characters’ that are just you with a gloss filter. Makes me want to puke in my soup. And I love soup. I have been around the wrestling business since before most of today’s ‘wrestlers’ weren’t even a twinkle in their fathers eye, and never before have I seen a more useless bunch of no-talent jaggofs. All of these so-called ‘stars’ are more concerned about their internet image than they are about wins and losses. I have never seen so many ‘men’ argue on the internet about things that don’t matter, and talk trash to each other behind an LCD screen, but when a challenge is thrown out there like a man they turn their tampax inside out and hold it to the sky.
Wrestling today has gotten pretty pathetic, if you ask me. 'Wrestlers' today don't even look like wrestlers. Most of them, if I can be frank, look like they enjoy running backwards naked through a field of dildos. Most of them act like it, too. Buncha soft, complain about a shoot because they're too dimwitted to come up with it themselves, pussy boys. Pardon my English. The ones who are true to the sport, who come in, do their jobs, shoot the shoot and destroy their competition on a weekly basis, well, they are probably not allowed to take a selfie near a school or playground. That is what we have done to the real wrestlers in this sport, and it's a damn travesty.
So many of these companies coddle their ‘stars’. They let them walk all over them, handing out favors like gift baskets at a baby shower.
Guys like Cage Eams, who think that just because they weigh the same as an industrial refrigerator that we are supposed to be afraid of them. I’ve been more afraid of the animatronics at the Chuck E. Cheese when I was forced to sit through my nephews birthday party than I am when I look at Cage Eams. I am just speaking the truth when I say I’ve never seen someone so hairy look so effeminate. Jesus Christ Cage, you look like a pissed off squash. Looks can be deceiving. Not in your case, they're spot on. Those caterpillarbrows are about to turn into butterflies and fly away. They say you’re the ‘man without fear’, the ‘beast of the bayou’, but you’ve been in this game a while now, what have you accomplished? You walk around self entitled like we are supposed to be impressed with your size. You may impress the old ladies at the Golden Corral four times a week but in the wrestling game you’re just another stiff worker with a temper issue. Oh, like we haven’t seen that one before, you unoriginal fuckstain.
I’m not sure what Ms. Baylor got for signing you but it shoulda been 3-5 years. What I do know is that she signed someone else, too. She signed my monster. She signed a man who embodies what real big men wrestling is supposed to be. A man who comes to the ring, destroys, and leaves. A man who has no heart, no soul, no goodman morals. She has signed a man who if he doesn’t leave you incapacitated and leaving the arena on a stretcher he had a bad night. She had signed a man who personifies evil. She has all of these college degrees in business but she is a flunkie when it comes to wrestling. She likes my monster because he is big and strong, but doesn’t understand that if she lets him loose on RISE she won’t have a fuckin’ roster left. He hurts people, and he enjoys it.
Cage Eames is a buffoon, and she books him like a monster. She books him against my monster because she thought it would be a good fuckin’ match, like he can work in the ring. She’s going to eat that contract like her fuckin’ diet pills when she realizes RISE is one member short. Plus his medical bills. Great job, Brit, you hapless sack. And as for your text messages you love to send, “Dick, settle down, you’re going to offend people.” Fuck off. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.
So let me give everyone a preview of this ‘match’ (and I use that term loosely), against the silverback gorilla with down syndrome known as Cage Eames. The only thing bigger than the wall of China is the gap between your eyes, and after my monster gets done with you on July the 9th, the hole that takes its place will be big enough to land a 737 inside. You out of shape prick. If they put your picture on a milk carton half the people would think the cow is missing. I would say I would rip your ass to shreds myself but it looks like your coach beat me to it. He hasn't said a damn word since he scribbled his stupid name on that contract, but taking a good look at this clown I bet he says douchy shit like "wrestling is the only real sport, everything else is just a game" all the time. Whether he does, or whether he doesn’t, his game ends at REVIVAL. This game we play is all fine and dandy, but you’re about to meet the final boss. There are no re-spawns, you’ll be back to level 1. Let me introduce to you your finality, my monster, and the biggest, baddest, meanest, most heartless prick to ever step inside a wrestling ring.
Let me introduce you to……COLOSSUS.”
"Suplex that, you numbnuts sack of snake feces."