Post by huntervalentyne on Jun 11, 2024 19:10:45 GMT -5
This is an official disclaimer from the office of EPW. Due to the volatile nature of Mister Hunter Valentyne, EPW, it's affiliates, or it's sponsors are not responsible or liable for the claims of Mister Valentyne. Therefore this warning is very necessary. We the good people of the EPW do not encourage the type of blasphemy that historically has come from his mouth.
The question needs to be asked. Why on Earth would Hunter Valentyne come to EPW. A better question would be why the fuck would EPW even want that in the first place? I know the answer, but does Silver Balls? You know the “Unstoppable Monster” that I am going to beat the shit out of in my not so long awaited debut in this company.
Mister Valentyne will learn to respect this company and its fans. No amount of disrespect will be tolerated. Failure to adhere to these guidelines will result in corrective action. We trust Mister Valentyne appreciates the gravity of the situation he finds himself in.
Generally when a wrestler debuts for a company it falls under three categories. Even Silver Balls who copied his name from A Marvel Character gets this. This first is that of a fly by night loser who fails to promote his shitty match. He gets to the show only to have the shit beat out of him, never to be seen or heard from again.
The second is the management of a wrestling company signs some guy who has never had a match. He promotes his match in a way that shows his inexperience. He asks for an opportunity and is shown the door very quickly after he is out matched. He drops to the bottom of the card to either improve or quit the business altogether.
The third is the legend who has done this fucking shit for years. Management comes to him not the other way around. They realize that he knows how to promote a match to make money. They put him against an established wrestler they want to beat beaten to take his little ego down a notch or two. Guess which one I am Silver Balls?
As a warning we do not condone or encourage any horrible uses of names like Hitting on cocks, Double Anal Donnie, or any other crude reference to people in the EPW. We find such uses of homophobic slurs horrible and would never condone language that some bitch with herpes would ever use to get over in the cheapest way possible. We are not some lame wrestling company and never will be.
Allow your boy to give you some advice that only experience will provide. Silver Balls needs to ask himself why he is in the unfortunate situation he finds himself in. The Stipulation of the match tells him everything he needs to know. The management of the EPW knew they wanted to choose the stipulation for that boring ass match between Silver Balls and that fucking moron Damage. They want these two boring ass losers to kill themselves. Do not worry the fans think the same way about these fucking morons.
EPW management also knew they had to make this situation appear to be on the level. They give the lesser of the two talents the opportunity to choose the stipulation for this snooze fest with a victory they know damned good and well Silver Balls is never fucking going to get.
They offer the soon to be conquering hero a title opportunity they think he wants. They have no idea that belt does not mean fucking shit to me. Maybe it would to a fucking idiot like Morbid Wolf. That is about the best that talentless loser could ever hope to gain. If Damage can't beat that fucking idiot he needs to quit and never return.
We will never condone the racial slurs that Mister Valentyne prefers to use. We will never refer to a Mexican using a lawnmower to make his living or the questionable means as to how they came to be in this country. We at EPW believe in equal opportunity for all races, genders, Creed's, and colors.
For fuck sake is this shit really necessary? Hunter Valentyne always warns people what the fuck is going to happen before it happens. There is no need for a disclaimer. Your boy has always taken responsibility for his words and actions. Do you really think I would ever lose to a moron like Silver Sack? There is a better chance of Damage not stinking up the ring than a loss ever happening.
The EPW will not be held responsible for the horrible words and actions of Mister Valentyne towards females. We do not condone abuse to the fairer sex. These are the thoughts and actions of Mister Valentyne alone.
Let me get this straight. A woman is in charge of this place? You do realize the broads are well known for not making decisions. On the rare fucking occasion they do make a decision it is always a bad one. The surprising part is when we negotiated for the contract and the match in Louisville that she didn't tell me to decide and then bitch about it for the rest of the night.
The actions of Mister Valentyne do not reflect the morals and family virtues of the EPW as a company. We request that parents keep in mind that adult programming exists within the family friendly programming that the EPW proudly presents on a weekly basis. Parental Discretion is advised.
Bitch please! The fact that my first match is against an Unstoppable Monster is quite hilarious to me. It is kind of my thing to stop the Unstoppable. To destroy the indestructible. Beating fuckwits like Silver Balls and the thousands just like his stupid ass is to know the essence of who and what he is. Monsters need someone to guide them with a modicum of intelligence. Silver Balls had that and was too big of a pussy to hold onto his manager. He let a fucking moron like Damage steal him away. Fucking Idiot.
The violence that will take place in this match is not for the faint of heart. We strongly suggest the death of Hunter Valentyne not be viewed by young children or by those who detest the sight of blood. It is our duty as a responsible wrestling company to forewarn each of you of the violence to come. We do not condone Mister Valentyne claiming not to know who Big Boobs Britt is. The EPW feels it is disrespectful and we believe in respecting all people.
GO FUCK YOURSELF! Seriously, I have no fucking idea who this fucking tool is. Who the fuck books ten ugly bitches in the main event of a wrestling show? The type of ho that makes awful decisions, that's who. Who the fuck even books a piece of shit like Morbid Fucking Wolf? Who gives a fuck about a dead wolf in the first place? The one impressive thing this bitch did in her life was to pay me.
We are family friendly. The horrible words and actions of Mister Valentyne do not reflect the values and moral obligations of the EPW as the leading wrestling company in the Free world.
Bitch, shut the up. Now being the solution oriented fucker that I am, i want to help management out. Since they put me against Silver Balls against me with the opportunity to select the stipulation for his match against Damage that nobody gives a fuck about, some suggestions for said boring match will be in managements incompetent hands. Revival is the perfect place for this match because the fan base is going to have to be revived from their apathetic stupor having to witness this shit. I am here to help you make this match less God Awful than it is destined to fucking be.
How about a Dick on a pole match? We all know it is not the first time Ole Dick Trickle has been on a pole before. Silver Balls and Damage would love riding a pole to get Dick. Okay too much? How about a double anal match so they can go fuck themselves?
The content to follow is for entertainment purposes only. None of these words are meant to be diss respectful. The EPW is about the entertainment of our fans and never meant to hurt the feelings of others.
Fuck your feelings! The time has come for the return of Hunter Valentyne to the wrestling world. I mean if you even want to call wrestling in EPW in Louisville the wrestling world. It is time to show Silver Balls what the fuck he has gotten himself into. The best way to be a dipshit like him is to bust his stupid ass open and make him taste his own blood. Then he will know that he is my bitch. He will also know he is not one of the comic book characters that he jacks off to using maple syrup as lube.
No one will ever diss respect the authority of the EPW, it's affiliates, or sponsors. Anyone doing such things will be made an example of. We have the responsibility to set the proper example for the youth of this great nation. Each wrestler will be a role model to the world.
In closing, the EPW will not tolerate violence towards women. We believe that women are meant to be pleasing to the eye and not beat up. Do not think we are behind the antics of Hunter Valentyne and his antiquated actions and words.
Fights tend to find me, not the other way around. This fight with Silver Dick has found me. He is not on my level and never will be. He is not even worthy of his name escaping my lips. Fucking hell he is barely worthy of me promoting this shitty match. He has an opportunity to prove himself to me and the world. Much like his efforts to protect his stupid fucking manager, he will fail. He will fail to entertain the six fans in what these idiots call a crowd. He will fail to name his stipulation in his boring fucking match at Revival. He will fail to step to the level needed.
The truth about your boy is that he won about as many matches as he lost. He won one world title that he never defended. All of the shit these bitches care about I didn't do. But my ass is a legend same as others claim to be but never are. Despite never having those accolades, my ass is considered right on their level. Would you like to know fucking why?
The brightly lit monitor provided by EPW management is switching screens as the man in the hoodie and Scully grabs his laser from his pants pocket. He proceeds to press the trigger, aiming at the monitor as the instrument glows with sparks coming from it. The sparks burn the forehead of the fair haired young man. He looks at the camera with tears streaming down his face.
Fuck your stupid disclaimer. See You bitches in Kenfucky. You have been educated.
The question needs to be asked. Why on Earth would Hunter Valentyne come to EPW. A better question would be why the fuck would EPW even want that in the first place? I know the answer, but does Silver Balls? You know the “Unstoppable Monster” that I am going to beat the shit out of in my not so long awaited debut in this company.
Mister Valentyne will learn to respect this company and its fans. No amount of disrespect will be tolerated. Failure to adhere to these guidelines will result in corrective action. We trust Mister Valentyne appreciates the gravity of the situation he finds himself in.
Generally when a wrestler debuts for a company it falls under three categories. Even Silver Balls who copied his name from A Marvel Character gets this. This first is that of a fly by night loser who fails to promote his shitty match. He gets to the show only to have the shit beat out of him, never to be seen or heard from again.
The second is the management of a wrestling company signs some guy who has never had a match. He promotes his match in a way that shows his inexperience. He asks for an opportunity and is shown the door very quickly after he is out matched. He drops to the bottom of the card to either improve or quit the business altogether.
The third is the legend who has done this fucking shit for years. Management comes to him not the other way around. They realize that he knows how to promote a match to make money. They put him against an established wrestler they want to beat beaten to take his little ego down a notch or two. Guess which one I am Silver Balls?
As a warning we do not condone or encourage any horrible uses of names like Hitting on cocks, Double Anal Donnie, or any other crude reference to people in the EPW. We find such uses of homophobic slurs horrible and would never condone language that some bitch with herpes would ever use to get over in the cheapest way possible. We are not some lame wrestling company and never will be.
Allow your boy to give you some advice that only experience will provide. Silver Balls needs to ask himself why he is in the unfortunate situation he finds himself in. The Stipulation of the match tells him everything he needs to know. The management of the EPW knew they wanted to choose the stipulation for that boring ass match between Silver Balls and that fucking moron Damage. They want these two boring ass losers to kill themselves. Do not worry the fans think the same way about these fucking morons.
EPW management also knew they had to make this situation appear to be on the level. They give the lesser of the two talents the opportunity to choose the stipulation for this snooze fest with a victory they know damned good and well Silver Balls is never fucking going to get.
They offer the soon to be conquering hero a title opportunity they think he wants. They have no idea that belt does not mean fucking shit to me. Maybe it would to a fucking idiot like Morbid Wolf. That is about the best that talentless loser could ever hope to gain. If Damage can't beat that fucking idiot he needs to quit and never return.
We will never condone the racial slurs that Mister Valentyne prefers to use. We will never refer to a Mexican using a lawnmower to make his living or the questionable means as to how they came to be in this country. We at EPW believe in equal opportunity for all races, genders, Creed's, and colors.
For fuck sake is this shit really necessary? Hunter Valentyne always warns people what the fuck is going to happen before it happens. There is no need for a disclaimer. Your boy has always taken responsibility for his words and actions. Do you really think I would ever lose to a moron like Silver Sack? There is a better chance of Damage not stinking up the ring than a loss ever happening.
The EPW will not be held responsible for the horrible words and actions of Mister Valentyne towards females. We do not condone abuse to the fairer sex. These are the thoughts and actions of Mister Valentyne alone.
Let me get this straight. A woman is in charge of this place? You do realize the broads are well known for not making decisions. On the rare fucking occasion they do make a decision it is always a bad one. The surprising part is when we negotiated for the contract and the match in Louisville that she didn't tell me to decide and then bitch about it for the rest of the night.
The actions of Mister Valentyne do not reflect the morals and family virtues of the EPW as a company. We request that parents keep in mind that adult programming exists within the family friendly programming that the EPW proudly presents on a weekly basis. Parental Discretion is advised.
Bitch please! The fact that my first match is against an Unstoppable Monster is quite hilarious to me. It is kind of my thing to stop the Unstoppable. To destroy the indestructible. Beating fuckwits like Silver Balls and the thousands just like his stupid ass is to know the essence of who and what he is. Monsters need someone to guide them with a modicum of intelligence. Silver Balls had that and was too big of a pussy to hold onto his manager. He let a fucking moron like Damage steal him away. Fucking Idiot.
The violence that will take place in this match is not for the faint of heart. We strongly suggest the death of Hunter Valentyne not be viewed by young children or by those who detest the sight of blood. It is our duty as a responsible wrestling company to forewarn each of you of the violence to come. We do not condone Mister Valentyne claiming not to know who Big Boobs Britt is. The EPW feels it is disrespectful and we believe in respecting all people.
GO FUCK YOURSELF! Seriously, I have no fucking idea who this fucking tool is. Who the fuck books ten ugly bitches in the main event of a wrestling show? The type of ho that makes awful decisions, that's who. Who the fuck even books a piece of shit like Morbid Fucking Wolf? Who gives a fuck about a dead wolf in the first place? The one impressive thing this bitch did in her life was to pay me.
We are family friendly. The horrible words and actions of Mister Valentyne do not reflect the values and moral obligations of the EPW as the leading wrestling company in the Free world.
Bitch, shut the up. Now being the solution oriented fucker that I am, i want to help management out. Since they put me against Silver Balls against me with the opportunity to select the stipulation for his match against Damage that nobody gives a fuck about, some suggestions for said boring match will be in managements incompetent hands. Revival is the perfect place for this match because the fan base is going to have to be revived from their apathetic stupor having to witness this shit. I am here to help you make this match less God Awful than it is destined to fucking be.
How about a Dick on a pole match? We all know it is not the first time Ole Dick Trickle has been on a pole before. Silver Balls and Damage would love riding a pole to get Dick. Okay too much? How about a double anal match so they can go fuck themselves?
The content to follow is for entertainment purposes only. None of these words are meant to be diss respectful. The EPW is about the entertainment of our fans and never meant to hurt the feelings of others.
Fuck your feelings! The time has come for the return of Hunter Valentyne to the wrestling world. I mean if you even want to call wrestling in EPW in Louisville the wrestling world. It is time to show Silver Balls what the fuck he has gotten himself into. The best way to be a dipshit like him is to bust his stupid ass open and make him taste his own blood. Then he will know that he is my bitch. He will also know he is not one of the comic book characters that he jacks off to using maple syrup as lube.
No one will ever diss respect the authority of the EPW, it's affiliates, or sponsors. Anyone doing such things will be made an example of. We have the responsibility to set the proper example for the youth of this great nation. Each wrestler will be a role model to the world.
In closing, the EPW will not tolerate violence towards women. We believe that women are meant to be pleasing to the eye and not beat up. Do not think we are behind the antics of Hunter Valentyne and his antiquated actions and words.
Fights tend to find me, not the other way around. This fight with Silver Dick has found me. He is not on my level and never will be. He is not even worthy of his name escaping my lips. Fucking hell he is barely worthy of me promoting this shitty match. He has an opportunity to prove himself to me and the world. Much like his efforts to protect his stupid fucking manager, he will fail. He will fail to entertain the six fans in what these idiots call a crowd. He will fail to name his stipulation in his boring fucking match at Revival. He will fail to step to the level needed.
The truth about your boy is that he won about as many matches as he lost. He won one world title that he never defended. All of the shit these bitches care about I didn't do. But my ass is a legend same as others claim to be but never are. Despite never having those accolades, my ass is considered right on their level. Would you like to know fucking why?
The brightly lit monitor provided by EPW management is switching screens as the man in the hoodie and Scully grabs his laser from his pants pocket. He proceeds to press the trigger, aiming at the monitor as the instrument glows with sparks coming from it. The sparks burn the forehead of the fair haired young man. He looks at the camera with tears streaming down his face.
Fuck your stupid disclaimer. See You bitches in Kenfucky. You have been educated.