Post by goth on Aug 26, 2024 3:43:37 GMT -5
Satisfy my desires…. The clock is ticking, it’s almost 1. Am as we see Goth watching his last match in EPW, cringing to the fact that he had lost the match against Donnie. Admittedly he had to acknowledge the fact that the champion was the better man in this non-title match.
His arms shake, he grinds his teeth as he shakes his head and blinks with his eyes several times in order to stay awake, realizing that he should have gone to bed several hours ago.
“Oh for fuck sakes…”
His right hand reaches for the glass of water, only to knock it off the edge of the table due to his trembling, he starts to grind his teeth to prevent him from letting out a tirade of profanity that is brewing inside his head as the anger is clearly starting to take control of him.
“Tick…, Tock..,”
The ticking of the clock starts to get to him as a vein starts to pulsate in the same pace as the clock, this causes him to want to rip his head of his shoulders to release some of the pressure that he is feeling. But he imminently manages to resist all of that by closing his eyes and whisper out a prayer before letting out a sigh.
He remains there seated with is eyes closed for what seems to be like hours, only to look at the clock after reopening them and realize that it has only been a minute or two. This causes him to grind the arm rest of the sofa that he was sitting on as his fingers start to dig into the fabric while the sweat can be felt dripping down his back.
He finally manages to remember what he was doing as he returns his attention towards the screen, asking himself if it was destiny when his eyes got fixated upon the finish. A moment of shame comes over him, it made no difference for him whether it was a rookie mistake or one of a veteran he knows he made a mistake.
“No….. please….”
His trembling hands start to search for something to do, searching for some beads in a last minute attempt to recollect his thoughts. The worry crossed his mind as to wonder whether his Lord has abandoned him?
“N… no…”
He violently shakes his head, causing him to suddenly feel a neck muscle starting to tense up due to the uncontrollable motions that he had made. Grabbing it with his right hand as he starts to rub it, trying to loosen it to no result. This causes him to grind his teeth even more, trying to push away his anger and all the other wrong emotions that could be identified as a sin.
The thought pops into his head over and over again whether this is truly happening to him? Has he lost his touch? Has he lost his mind?? Trying to figure out what has happened to him and when, seeking for an explanation why he is feeling this way. Because in the end he knows that there’s an answer to every supposedly “minor problem” that people tend to blow up as if it is an elephant. And yet his mind draws up blank.
“I hate this!!!”
He lets out through his teeth, he cannot take this anymore and wants to rip someone else’s head off. A thought that causes him to relax as he starts to smile a sinister smile.
“Oh I knew I would find a solution…”
He closes his eyes, trying to find a memory of his younger life where he had struggled to keep his sanity. A life where alcohol was his destinated solution o everything, whether it was a celebration for one of his countless victories, or whether it was to drink away the painful loss or title defeat that he equally endured through his life.
The corners of his mouth slowly lift themselves a few inches, smirking at a memory where he had made reservations for him and all of his friends at a local place. It was one of those nights that he would almost drown himself in extasy over a world title victory as well as the fact that his body was addicted to the substance. It made him want to beat his opponents so much more as he could not stand it anymore to be without alcohol longer than 24 hours a day…
“How things have changed, yet remain the same…”
He reopens his eyes, still feeling the vein pulsate only slightly less active than a few moments before. Its that moment that he realizes how the sweat has started to caught him by surprise as h is about to get from his sofa in order to take a late night shower, only to shake his head and decide otherwise.
“Pleasure first…., then the necessary reprocaution….”
He smirks as he stares into the camera, fixating upon the cold and lifeless screen of the device that transmits his every movement and word he produces, admiring the handy work before letting out a sigh and talks.
“I got no…. satisfaction…. And I try… and I try….”
He smirks for a moment as he shakes his head.
“I bet you have heard these types of mockery before haven’t you Stevie?? Mockery that would bring you back to the days when we were all just kids, not realizing how much a few words or a sentence like that would hurt someone else. Only to hopefully learn when we grow up and supposedly become wiser and better human beings, oh how foolish ideals we try to live up to these days.”
He shakes his head as he lifts his head to the right, staring at the splash of water that is dripping down from the table to the floor.
“See how we human beings do not have control over smaller things? All because we can lose ourselves in just shear minority attributes, the concept of having no control over our bodies and muscles scares us… While it is just inside our head, just like emotions and desires. You just need to know how to contain it and control it, because once you let go….”
He doesn’t finish he sentence as he starts to smirk, shaking his head while closing his eyes for a moment. Both hands reach over towards his hair as he pulls it backwards.
“I used to allow body to get all the satisfaction that it craved for, merely because in my head I needed all the stimulation that I could find in the world!! And even though times has changed and we have different standards when it comes down to morals, the desires just alternate as well in order to comply with our needs… and all I have to ask you Stevie, is what are yours??”
“But we do not have to look far now we?? Because the obvious answer is presented right in front of us!! To ultimately qualify for a title shot against whomever it is that is the champion. To be one step closer to that taste of gold, oh the yearning desire to have a leather strap across your shoulder or around your waist.”
“To be the most hated human being, to be the most targeted sob in the company that you represent. And trust me, I have been there before and I know exactly how you are thinking my friend. it’s quite obvious and quite entertaining at the same time. Because nobody knows an addict better than an addict himself…”
He lifts his eyebrows, remains silent for a few moments as he lets the words sink in.
“I know that is a confronting statement isn’t it? a statement that gets a lot of heat these days, causing people to scream from the top of their lungs as into claiming that I would be hurting a lot of people.”
“But isn’t the truth meant to be hurtful at times? Isn’t the truth meant to make people question themselves? Question their actions? Question whether their actions were right or… wrong??”
“And yet we only look at the negative side of life Stevie, we only want to keep ourselves protected int hat safe bubble that you are the only one that is right and that the rest is wrong. Not wanting to be strong, not wanting to stand up for your own believes and man up if you have to admit that you are wrong. And trust me Stevie, your satisfaction is wrong…”
He starts to wiggle his finger in front of the camera as he stares back at the puddle of water.
“See that Stevie?? Once inside the glass it is a glorious sight, the amount of water inside the glass showcased the possible enormity of its essence. And yet it all changes by a mere push, causing the tide to change so to speak as we watch it just flush right before our eyes. The question for you my friend is, what will you do to prevent such a thing to happen to you??”
He smirks as he lets some of the drops land upon his hand as he holds it underneath the table before holding it in front of the camera as he stares at his hand.
“Did that satisfy you Stevie?? Did that explanation made sense?? Or are you too stubborn to even care?? Either way it doesn’t really matter to me my friend, because I am here to stop you in your attempts. It’s quite refreshing to test wills and ability inside the ring, tell the other that heor she is wrong. And that’s where I come in, because no matter the challenge ahead… I am ALWAYS RIGHT!!”
He slowly rises from the sofa, allowing the muscles in his body adjust from having been sitting there for seemingly hours adjust to the weight of his body being put upon them, feeling how the muscles are arguing with him as it only fuels him
“Age is just a number Stevie, it’s an eternal battle against Father Time they say. A battle that I welcome to the very day that I myself decide to hang up my boots. But in the meantime people like you need to dwell with the fact that I am still around and ready to kick your ass….”
With hat the shot fades
His arms shake, he grinds his teeth as he shakes his head and blinks with his eyes several times in order to stay awake, realizing that he should have gone to bed several hours ago.
“Oh for fuck sakes…”
His right hand reaches for the glass of water, only to knock it off the edge of the table due to his trembling, he starts to grind his teeth to prevent him from letting out a tirade of profanity that is brewing inside his head as the anger is clearly starting to take control of him.
“Tick…, Tock..,”
The ticking of the clock starts to get to him as a vein starts to pulsate in the same pace as the clock, this causes him to want to rip his head of his shoulders to release some of the pressure that he is feeling. But he imminently manages to resist all of that by closing his eyes and whisper out a prayer before letting out a sigh.
He remains there seated with is eyes closed for what seems to be like hours, only to look at the clock after reopening them and realize that it has only been a minute or two. This causes him to grind the arm rest of the sofa that he was sitting on as his fingers start to dig into the fabric while the sweat can be felt dripping down his back.
He finally manages to remember what he was doing as he returns his attention towards the screen, asking himself if it was destiny when his eyes got fixated upon the finish. A moment of shame comes over him, it made no difference for him whether it was a rookie mistake or one of a veteran he knows he made a mistake.
“No….. please….”
His trembling hands start to search for something to do, searching for some beads in a last minute attempt to recollect his thoughts. The worry crossed his mind as to wonder whether his Lord has abandoned him?
“N… no…”
He violently shakes his head, causing him to suddenly feel a neck muscle starting to tense up due to the uncontrollable motions that he had made. Grabbing it with his right hand as he starts to rub it, trying to loosen it to no result. This causes him to grind his teeth even more, trying to push away his anger and all the other wrong emotions that could be identified as a sin.
The thought pops into his head over and over again whether this is truly happening to him? Has he lost his touch? Has he lost his mind?? Trying to figure out what has happened to him and when, seeking for an explanation why he is feeling this way. Because in the end he knows that there’s an answer to every supposedly “minor problem” that people tend to blow up as if it is an elephant. And yet his mind draws up blank.
“I hate this!!!”
He lets out through his teeth, he cannot take this anymore and wants to rip someone else’s head off. A thought that causes him to relax as he starts to smile a sinister smile.
“Oh I knew I would find a solution…”
He closes his eyes, trying to find a memory of his younger life where he had struggled to keep his sanity. A life where alcohol was his destinated solution o everything, whether it was a celebration for one of his countless victories, or whether it was to drink away the painful loss or title defeat that he equally endured through his life.
The corners of his mouth slowly lift themselves a few inches, smirking at a memory where he had made reservations for him and all of his friends at a local place. It was one of those nights that he would almost drown himself in extasy over a world title victory as well as the fact that his body was addicted to the substance. It made him want to beat his opponents so much more as he could not stand it anymore to be without alcohol longer than 24 hours a day…
“How things have changed, yet remain the same…”
He reopens his eyes, still feeling the vein pulsate only slightly less active than a few moments before. Its that moment that he realizes how the sweat has started to caught him by surprise as h is about to get from his sofa in order to take a late night shower, only to shake his head and decide otherwise.
“Pleasure first…., then the necessary reprocaution….”
He smirks as he stares into the camera, fixating upon the cold and lifeless screen of the device that transmits his every movement and word he produces, admiring the handy work before letting out a sigh and talks.
“I got no…. satisfaction…. And I try… and I try….”
He smirks for a moment as he shakes his head.
“I bet you have heard these types of mockery before haven’t you Stevie?? Mockery that would bring you back to the days when we were all just kids, not realizing how much a few words or a sentence like that would hurt someone else. Only to hopefully learn when we grow up and supposedly become wiser and better human beings, oh how foolish ideals we try to live up to these days.”
He shakes his head as he lifts his head to the right, staring at the splash of water that is dripping down from the table to the floor.
“See how we human beings do not have control over smaller things? All because we can lose ourselves in just shear minority attributes, the concept of having no control over our bodies and muscles scares us… While it is just inside our head, just like emotions and desires. You just need to know how to contain it and control it, because once you let go….”
He doesn’t finish he sentence as he starts to smirk, shaking his head while closing his eyes for a moment. Both hands reach over towards his hair as he pulls it backwards.
“I used to allow body to get all the satisfaction that it craved for, merely because in my head I needed all the stimulation that I could find in the world!! And even though times has changed and we have different standards when it comes down to morals, the desires just alternate as well in order to comply with our needs… and all I have to ask you Stevie, is what are yours??”
“But we do not have to look far now we?? Because the obvious answer is presented right in front of us!! To ultimately qualify for a title shot against whomever it is that is the champion. To be one step closer to that taste of gold, oh the yearning desire to have a leather strap across your shoulder or around your waist.”
“To be the most hated human being, to be the most targeted sob in the company that you represent. And trust me, I have been there before and I know exactly how you are thinking my friend. it’s quite obvious and quite entertaining at the same time. Because nobody knows an addict better than an addict himself…”
He lifts his eyebrows, remains silent for a few moments as he lets the words sink in.
“I know that is a confronting statement isn’t it? a statement that gets a lot of heat these days, causing people to scream from the top of their lungs as into claiming that I would be hurting a lot of people.”
“But isn’t the truth meant to be hurtful at times? Isn’t the truth meant to make people question themselves? Question their actions? Question whether their actions were right or… wrong??”
“And yet we only look at the negative side of life Stevie, we only want to keep ourselves protected int hat safe bubble that you are the only one that is right and that the rest is wrong. Not wanting to be strong, not wanting to stand up for your own believes and man up if you have to admit that you are wrong. And trust me Stevie, your satisfaction is wrong…”
He starts to wiggle his finger in front of the camera as he stares back at the puddle of water.
“See that Stevie?? Once inside the glass it is a glorious sight, the amount of water inside the glass showcased the possible enormity of its essence. And yet it all changes by a mere push, causing the tide to change so to speak as we watch it just flush right before our eyes. The question for you my friend is, what will you do to prevent such a thing to happen to you??”
He smirks as he lets some of the drops land upon his hand as he holds it underneath the table before holding it in front of the camera as he stares at his hand.
“Did that satisfy you Stevie?? Did that explanation made sense?? Or are you too stubborn to even care?? Either way it doesn’t really matter to me my friend, because I am here to stop you in your attempts. It’s quite refreshing to test wills and ability inside the ring, tell the other that heor she is wrong. And that’s where I come in, because no matter the challenge ahead… I am ALWAYS RIGHT!!”
He slowly rises from the sofa, allowing the muscles in his body adjust from having been sitting there for seemingly hours adjust to the weight of his body being put upon them, feeling how the muscles are arguing with him as it only fuels him
“Age is just a number Stevie, it’s an eternal battle against Father Time they say. A battle that I welcome to the very day that I myself decide to hang up my boots. But in the meantime people like you need to dwell with the fact that I am still around and ready to kick your ass….”
With hat the shot fades