CReaTiNG MoN$TaZ

[jestyrseryous]

WHeRe THE PHUCK is JOLI VEXX???

A solid 24hrs after the last episode of Danger went off the air we find ourselvez inside the capital of Bourbon Street in New Orleanz Louisiana known as OUTLAWZ. The one and only GeNTLeMENZ club on the most SYNNFUL street in these here United States that features the loveliest ladies of your wet dreams as a literal who’s who of the adult film industry frequent and work the establishment making it one of if not THE top ADULT tourist destinations in the Big Ea$y, owned and operated of course by the most SeRyOu$ MAN in all of Elevate Pro Wrestling, Je$TyR SeRyOuS who by the look on his face this evening aint all smiles tonight…Well unless you count the one he has painted on but that’s neither here nor there.


No here this evening he has a look of sheer determination or even anger in his eyes, as they dart around the room as he stands in the threshold of the entrance. SeRyOuS has one of those voices when he speaks you F’N LISTEN and at this very moment it is safe to say that he has the attention of EVERY PeRSoN IN THE ROOM, and given what took place on the last episode of DANGER we believe it is quite plain to see why. Mr. SeRyOu$ LaDIES AND GENTLEMEN is NOT A HAPPY CAMPER today! Nor should he be as his dreams of hoisting the EPW World Heavyweight Championship above his head while standing over Donnie Harris broken body have been put on hold temporarily thanks in part to a woman who has been by his side since the last EPW pay per view.


For those of you with your head all the way up in your ass crack, Ms. VeXX provided a key distraction that caused Je$TyR to take his eye of the ball for a moment providing the necessary distraction his opponent Morbid Wolf needed in order to sucker the clown in and deliever the decisive fatal blow that knocked Mr. SeRyOu$ out of the #1 contender tournament and putting him in the very foul mood we see him in presently. If you look close enough in his eyes its almost as if he has been replaying those few brief yet impactful moments in his mind over and over again from the moment they transpired to the very one we find ourselves in now.


Which probably explains what happened next. While his initial scream into the halls of his own strip club did gather the attention he sought after he stood there in awkward silence no closer to the answer to his question than he was moments before he stepped in the got damn door to begin with. SO he reaches into his jacket and removes a black .45 pistol holds it in the air and squeezes the trigger three…count em THREE F’N TIMES

!!!!BaM, BaM BAMMMMM!!!!

I SAID WHERE IN THE PHUCKIN FUCK IS JOLI VEXX???

The moment the first round was fired off into the ceiling it sent the patronz and employees scattering the way ants do when someone comes along and steps ontop of their little hill. Je$TyR watches the chaos he just caused and closes his eyes as if a moment of serenity just washed over him. Truth be told he wasn’t in the mood for people this evening and now this kills two birds with one stone without him actually having to kill anything…yet!


But this being a SeRyOu$ production and all, we try and look for the funny side of such shit scenarios as this one right here, and well the funny shit about all this is that why the shot girls and some of the dancers who were trying to work their way through college went running and scapering like chickens with their heads detached from their bodies, the vets of the place namely the bartenders and such all stood in place like nothing happened at all…After all this was just another day at the office for this particular flock of flesh peddlerz. Shenanigans like this were just apart of the job when you work for a man like Je$TyR SeRyOu$!


Once the riff raff makes their way outside to wait and see if the coast was clear for them to return to their regularly scheduled perversions Je$TyR strolls over to the bar and pats his index finger on the bar. Adult film star and tonight’s very special guest bartender Oliva Austin walks over with a shotglass and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue already in hand. SHe turns the shotglass over and the bottle upside down as JesTyR winks before taking the glass and throwing the burning scotch back into his throat. He closes his eyes and shakes his head. His eyes then open in a flash as he looks Olivia up and down as he allows a small flirty smile to creep across his face, cause how do you look at this one and not smile right?...and Je$TyR aint even really partial to blondes…But again this is neither here nor there!


Jestyr goes to speak but out of the corner of his eye he sees two visibly drunken middle aged gentlemen who were either stupid or just unaware of what just took place come stumbling into the strip club. Je$TyR holds up his index finger as he takes his other hand still holding the .45 as he points it in their general direction and squeezes the trigger thrice more

!!!!!!BaM, BaM BAMMMMM!!!!!

OK SeRyOu$Ly WHERE THE PHUCK IS JOLI VEXX, THE NEXT TIME IM GUNNA ACTUALLY SHOOT SOMEONE!!!!

The bullets ricochet off the wall not hitting anyone but still sends the prospective patrons running for the hills…even though New Orleans aint got no hills…so HA HA, jokes on those assholes! But Ms. Austin pouring herself a shot and throwing it back runs her hand gently across Je$TyR’s cheek pulling his attention back to her for a moment. Je$TyR knows these tricks and tonight he aint havin any of it. SO instead he grabs Oliva by the back of her hair pulls her had back and presses the butt of the .45 underneath her chin and finally for the first time since we seen him today a REAL SMILE beams across his face.


Ms. Austin as I’m sure you are well aware I’m IN NO PHUCKING MOOD! SO let’s just this once skip the phuckin foreplay and you tell me where she is, and don’t lie because I KNOW SHE’S PHUCKING HERE! Not only does she have nowhere else to go really, but I tracked her cell here…I may have been a bit presumptuous letting the puppy off her leash a little too early, and I know you girls have all taken a shine to her…BUT AGAIN I’M IN NO PHUCKING MOOD AND I NEED TO SPEAK WITH HER RIGHT

!!!!!F’N MeOW!!!!!

SO PLEASE…MAKE SURE THE NEXT WORDS OUT YOUR MOUTH ARE HER EXACT LOCATION!!!!

…Cause if you’ll notice I’m wearing my slippery gloves this evening and I’ve already made a royal mess of things here this evening, but shit CAN ALWAYS GET MESSIER ASK ME HOW I KNOW!!!...So HoWZ ABoUT IT SuNFLoWER?


She’s…She’s downstairs Mr. J…FUCK!!!!


Jestyr’s smile only grows wider as he releases his handful of Oliva’s hair and he puts the pistol on the bar motioning for her to pour another shot. Oliva does as she is bid while holding the back of her hair shaking her head…


GAH you are such an ASSHOLE SOMETIMES MR. J! If I didn’t like getting my hair pulled so much I may have been inclined to take offense!


Ohh stop YOU LOVE IT! So how long has she been dow…Wait you said downstairs?... Are you phuckin tellin me SHe’s like “DoWnSTaIRZ” downstairs?


Uh-uh sure am boss!


Well…the phuckin fuck is she doin down there?


…See what had happened WAS…


WAIT! Ya know what don’t tell me…I think I’d rather be surprised with this one here!


But Mr. J you fuckin HATE SURPRISES!!!


Jestyr throws his shot back and smacks himself in the face a time or three as he grabs Olivia Austin by her beautiful cheeks pulls her in close and gives her a big ole kiss on her forehead as he jerks her head back and says…


YEAH WELL THERE IS A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING MY SWEET!!! I assume she’s made a mess of some sort yes?


OHHH YEAH! You could definitely say that!


There so its not really all that big of a surprise now is it! Now do me a favor and get the Sheriff on the phone and tell him therez no need to send the 50’s out here everything is well in hand…Ohh and do me a favor and since you have the night off now I’m gunna need your help with something!


Hmmm like what?


Well again as I’m sure you know Ms. VeXX was a VERY VERY BAD GIRL and well she needs to be taught some manners, and well there are few in the vicinity at present I trust to help me teach this lesson with you…SO Ima need you to run upstairs and get everything ready whilst I head downstairs and start to clean up whatever trouble she has gotten herself into now!


Mr. J it’s a pretty big fuckin mess you might need some help with that too!


Hmmmm I love where your head’s at DARLIN BUT I SeRyOu$Ly PHUCKIN DOUBT IT! Remember who you are talkin to…I’m the phuckin

!!!!!TRoUBLeMaKeR oF ALL F’N TRoUBLeMaKeRZ!!!!!!

I BEEN CLEANIN UP MESSES SINCE…WELL SINCE FOREVER!!!

Just do as I ask, and no more back sass or Ill have to teach you some manners as well!


Mr. J you should know better than to threaten me with a good time!


You’d think I would wouldn’t ya?....NOW RUN ALONG!...Leave the bottle though, looks like it’s gunna be

!!!!!1 oF THo$e KiNNa NiGHTZ!!!!!

NoW LeMMe Go FiND THi$ SiLLy BiOTCCHHHHH!!!

See ya in a bit!

…LiTeRaLLy 4 MiNz n 19 SeCoNDZ LaTeR!!!

The large iron door to Johnny Stylez super duper private office in the bowels off OUTLAWZ swings open. The thick stone walls keep the sound in and don’t really let it out which is one of the nifty handy dandy lil perks of this little nook. SO when the door slams shut behind Je$TyR as he saunters into the room with a now almost empty bottle of Johnny Walker Blue in his hand the sound is damn near thunderous. Yet despite this uch to the clown’s own astonishment he finds his person of interest, Ms. VeXX in the flesh (and blood…and from the loox of it lots and lotz of it!), sitting with her back to him. The sound of the door slamming behind him and the bottle breaking once he slams it on the ground doesn’t cause her to flinch even in the slightest. It isn’t until he gets a few steps closer to see the mess Ms. Austin was trying to inform him over a few moments ago. His eyes widen practically to the point of bulging as he exclaims…

!!!!!VeXXY!!!!!

THERE YOU ARE YA SILLY BITCH WHAT THE F HAVE YOU GONE AND DONE NOW???

Jestyr leans over and sees Vexx’s hands are covered from fingernails to elbows in blood…The thick dark red kind which means our girl has been very busy. His words still have no affect as he still is looking at the back of her black and bright red pigtails. He rolls his eyes and chuckles as he steps beside her and sees her sitting behind two bodies of two middle aged men who are lying face down. He makes an EwWwW FACE as he uses his foot to roll them over one at a time. As he does he notices the name tags on their shirt as is the rule for all male employees here at OUTLAWZ. One is…or at this point was a barback named Alex Preston and the other rotund balding fellow who was probably the worst bouncer employed here at OUTLAWZ was a few hours ago known to the world as Jason Davenport. Once he sees this we promise you the irony wasn’t lost on him as it shouldn’t be any of you.


Jestyr then once he takes a moment to process the situation bends over and brushes a few locks of hair hanging in Joli’s face behind her ear, he half expected her to be shaking and crying and while she was shaking she sure as shit wasn’t crying..IN fact the only thing she was doing was the same thing he does in situations just like this one here. Only when her eyes finally leave her handwork and find their way locked with the clowns the sound only grows louder…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jestyr allows her a moment but the laughter is the kind of hysterical that it begins to make him feel uncomfortable which as you all know is indeed saying something. Plus these two have business so he swiftly takes his hand and puts it over her mouth bringing a sudden and abrupt stop to the maniacal laughter…


OK VeXXy, I’m gunna take my hand off your mouth in just a sec…But you were like at a ten Ima need you to knock it down to at least a six maybe even a five…ANd then Ima need you to do some

!!!!!F’N SPLANIN!!!!!

…AND LOTZ OF IT!!!

Starting with what in the monkey fuck happened here?


Well I…I came here to wait for you, because I knew we had a lot to talk about…ANd Mr. J I’m so sorry about what I…


NO! Stay on task we’ll get to all that!


OK RIGHT! So I get here and I’m havin a drink with the girls trying to calm my nerves and then I think I was getting tired so I decided to go wait for you in your office and I’m pretty sure these two grabbed my ass!


…I’m sorry I’ve been drinking, like a lot…But ittttttt sounded like you said pretty sure!


I did!


Well I mean this is typically one of those situations where you should probably be SURE before you well…DO ALL THIS HERE! So…I’m gunna ask you again, are you PRETTY SURE, or are you sure they grabbed your ass?


I dunno I’m not really sure!


JESUS…OK Fair enough, CONTINUE!!!


I could hear them laughing and giggling like two little bitches making their stupid jokes! Just like HE USED TO! SO I told them I needed help with getting something from down here and literally the next thing I know they were face down and I was holding my…Wait where’s my


Jestyr leans over and picks up a bloody knife and dangles it in front of her face. SHe goes to reach for it, but Jestyr swipes it away at the last moment as he then puts it in his pants for safe keeping.


VeXXy, OK I’m not gunna lie, this is all so unexpected and YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I DESPISE SURPRISES! SO I’m going to need you to give me very specific answers to the next question I’m finna ask you! And I’m in no mood for bullshit so please don’t push me K?...But like really MAMA…

?W. T. F.?

ID ASK IF YOU LOST YOUR MIND BUTTTT

The better question is probably would you like me to phucking HELP YOU LOOK FOR IT? Cause what is this all about? I mean do you have any idea what you’ve done? WHAT YOU’VE COST ME? SO AGAIN PUMPKIN WHAT THE ACTUAL PHUCK?!?


I dunno Mr. J…It’s just when you woke me up back at Alex’s pool I felt so free…Like I actually felt like I had purpose since like the first time in like forever! And you told me you were going to let me get my hands dirty, and minutes turned to hours, hours to days, days to weeks, and I started to feel like you were trying to control me…Just like he DID…JUST LIKE BRITT DID! ANd you said I was your partner not your MINION! SO I know what I did was super fucked up, but I wanted to show you I’m ready! To get my hands dirty to do whatever the fuck is necessary to make my SISTER SUFFER the way you talk about literally ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!!! You gave me a sip of the chaos and well I want more!


OK…See this is why I wanted to talk about these things in order because you are kinda all over the place right now dear. You are trying to tell me that you did what you did to poor Alex and Davenport here because you wanted to prove to me you could and would get your hands dirty?


And because I’m pretty sure they grabbed my ass!


Both of em?


Yeah probably!


OHHH MY GAWD! This is why I don’t normally drink! But we’re gunna push through! OK! VeXXy the one thing I need you to understand moving forward Ms. SaSSy BRiTCHEZ is that you

!!!!!F’N SeRyOu$Ly!!!!!

NEED TO LEARN TO PICK YOUR BATTLEZ!!!!

For instance I don’t think that Alex and Davenport wound up down here by accident, but if you just would have practiced some patience and looked at the bigger picture you could see that WE…NOT JUST ME…WE have already accomplished so very much and the best is yet to come! Take for instance the actual Alex Davenport’s departure from EPW. HE can make whatever excuses he wants but BABY GIRL! THe man was still a CHAMPION…we saw to that…But still he left this company out of nothing but sheer and utter

!!!!!!F’N SHAME!!!!!!

A MORE THAN FATAL DO$E WHICH HE GOT FROM WHO???

US!!!! We gave him the type of ass whoopin, we taught him the kind of lesson that BROKE HIS BITCH ASS! ANd even though he still walked out of that last pay per view a CHAMPION he knew he had been soundly defeated and that calling himself a CHAMPION even if he was still officially recgonized as such was no more the truth than any lie that ever fell from his weiner washer of a mouth! AND I COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU! ANd that was only the first piece we took off of Britt Baylor’s board! THERE WAS MUCH MORE TO COME! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS TRUST ME…And when have I EVER GIVEN YOU REASON NOT TO PHUCKING TRUST ME?


….Mr. J you kidnapped me twice!


MY GAWD YOU LOVE BRINGIING UP OLD SHIT!!!!! THAT WAS BEFORE! That was when you were still a sheep! But when since I have begun training you in the ways of the WOLF have I given you a reason not to trust me hmmm???


He…He really is gone isn’t he?


Yes MAM, left his bitch ass belt and EVERYTHING!!!


Ohhh Mr. J I’m so sorry! You must be soooooooo pissed at me!


Yes as a matter of fact I am! But it’s ok! Because Donnie Harris may have gone to sleep a bit easier tonight knowing I was officially out of the running for facing him at the pay per view, but he knows that it is only a matter of time before he stands across the ring from me with EPW’s top prize on the line and on that day he knows

!!!!!GooD n GoT DaMN WELL!!!!!

HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ANYWHERE FEELIN AS EMPTY HANDED AS HE WILL ON THAT NIGHT BET!!!!

AND BELIEVE I WILL MAKE THAT DAY HAPPEN EVEN IF I HAVE TO TEAR DOWN EVERY SINGLE BRICK IN EPW!!! BECAUSE THAT IS AFTER ALL THE MISSION ISN’T IT DEAR?


WE!


I’m sorry what?


WE WILL MAKE THAT DAY HAPPEN!!!


Yes mam so we shall indeed! But first I need you to come upstairs with me so we can get you cleaned up and what not! ANd as it turns out…I HAVE A LIL $uRPRi$E FOR YOU TOO!


Is it a puppy?


WHAT?...NO IT’S NOT A PUPPY!!!!


DAMN! Well what is it? I don’t like surprises very much either!


OK well maybe I have two surprises for you! Ill tell you about one now and the other when we get up stairs deal?


Ohhh is the other one a


NO IT’S STILL NOT A PUPPY VEXX!!!


DAMNIT!!!


OHH KNOCK IT OFF! It’s better than a puppy! You just said you wanted to get your hands dirty, and help me reduce your sisters empire to

!!!!!!F’N A$HeS DiDnJA??

WeLL DeaR YoUR WaIT IS OFFICiALLY AT AN END!!!!

Cause at the next episode of Danger you and I have a chance to take a few very important pieces off of your sister’s board! ONe of them is the EPW World Heavyweight CHAMPION and the other is some DoLLaR SToRE HooKeR who used to be a big deal before EPW was EPW…Ally Callaway…


EW I heard she was back I fuckin hate that BITCH!!!


Yeah she smells like the backseat French Fries!


Wait…HOLD UP! DO you mean WE…Like in a match? You actually got us a match?


I did indeed! Apparently your sister thinks your sanity can be beaten back into you, and to make sure she rounded up two of her best and brightest to see to it! But just like all of Britt’s plans we are gunna go out of our way to make this one blow up in her stupid fac…


OMG MR. J I’M SOOOOO HAPPYYY!!!!!


Joli Vexx’s smile beams from ear to ear as she lunges forward and wraps her bloody hands around Johnny’s neck taking them both to the floor causing them both to start laughing hysterically. After a few moments Je$TyR’s smile grows a little wider and a bit more mischievous as he asks…


OK let’s go get you and this mess cleaned up!


…And my new puppy!


VEXX FOR PHUCKS SAKES THERE IS NO PUPPY! But there is another surprise! SO let’s go we’re fuggin BuRNiN MooNLiGHT BRITCHEZ!!!!

…FeW MoMeNTZ LaTeR!!!

Now on the 3rd floor of OUTLAWZ in Johnny’s main office the door to the restroom on the far left corner of the room opens up and we see Je$TyR leading a blindfolded Joli VeXX into the room. Her hair is still wet from her shower and all that stands between her and the suit she wears on her BIRTHDAY is a larger embroidered beach towel that says

!!!!!!!PHUCK BRITT BALOR!!!!!!

IN HER RANKY DANKY VA-JAY-JAY/BooTYHoLE!!!

(CoURTeSeY oF THE TeMU!!!!)

Je$TyR takes her hands and leads her to the middle of the room where he pulls down a large cable and silently reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a pair of handcuffs. But not silently enough apparently…


Mr. J WHAT ARE YOU DOING?


WHy giving you your other surprise dear…


And in one swift fluid motion he slaps the cuffs on her right wrist and pulls her hands in the air hanging the cuffs over the cable and then he cuffs her other hand. Once the cuffs are on not too tight he stands back as Joli Vexx has a flirty smile on her face and eventhough we can’t see her eyes we can sure as shit see her eyebrows raising above the blindfold…


WELL DON’T YOU THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME!!!


Yeah well I guess that’s a matter of perspective my dear! Because you see…I have something that requires my immediate attention at present, and well while I forgive you for costing me my match against that MUTT MORBID WOLF…You still need to be taught a very…VERY IMPORTANT LESSON! ANd while I shall return as quickly as I can, I enlisted the help of your gal pal Olivia Austin to help me teach sed lesson! SO ya know…Don’t go thanking me yet! But again dear I just need you to trust the process! ANd also don’t EVER…EVER CROSS ME AGAIN!...But yeah like I said I’ll be back in a tick to make sure this lesson is taught correctly, but until then I leave you in the more than capable hands of a REAL…REAL PRO!!!! Ms. AUSTIN if you’d please!!!!


Before Joli can utter another word suddenly two shiny black lether gloves come flying over her head attaching a ball gag in Joli’s mouth and tightens and locks into place. The camera pans out and Olivia Austin dressed in the most SyNNFUL dominatrix get up any of you have ever seen complete with black studded leather belt is standing there with a mischievous grin of her own as she takes the belt and makes a popping sound with it.


The clown gives her a nod as we hear Joli mumbling trying to say something, but we can’t make it out so we won’t bother trying to translate it. Je$TyR then walks over to his desk and grabs his pack of LUCKY STRIKES and pops one in his mouth. HE fires it up with his 4:19 zippo and then heads towards the door. He opens it but before he exits he spins around and says…


Ms. Austin REMEMBER…DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! Just make sure there is enough left for me when I come back! ANd Joli be strong MAMA, cause well…After I close this door I don’t know exactly what the phuck is gunna happen, but one thing I can promise you dear is…It’s finna get

!!!!!W.E.I.R.D.!!!!!

…SO YA KNOW SURPRISE OR WHATEVER HAHAHAHA!!!!!

K you girls have fun…I’LL BE RIGHHHTTTT BACK!!!!


ANd with that that clown slams the door behind him. We hear the sound of leather smacking ass cheek, as Jestyr smiles and rolls his eyes. HE takes a long soothing drag from his cigarette as he slowly rests his head against the back of the door and then slides all the way down until he is sitting on the floor smoking his cigarette resting his hands on his knees. It is then in this very moment where he begins doing that thing he does…


OK SO! ATTENTION

!!!!!!E.P. F’n W.!!!!!!

OR MORE SPECIFICALLY CALLAWAY, HARRIS, AND BALOR!!!!!

Let’s get something straight reallllll F’n quick FUCKOZ, because before we move forward there are some things I need the three of you to understand! You think I can’t hear you? Sure I’m all the way in New Orleans, probably in the one place where no one can hear anything I don’t want them to, but rest assured I can still hear you phucking FUX

!!!!!LAUGHING!!!!!

WELL PLEASE DON’T LET ME INTERRUPT!!!

Because really I want you to enjoy it. Laugh it up…Enjoy every solitary moment of it…

!!!!WHiLE YoU CaN!!!!!

CaU$e SooN YoU WiLL LeaRN THiS IS No LAUGHING MATTER!!!

THE HARD WAY! Because yes I may no longer be in the hunt for the shot at what is teporarily Donnie Harris EPW World Championship, and it may be because of an oversight by own estimation, which is the source of this situations humor I’d imagine, but make no mistake about it. When Danger comes and goes this next time the only one who is going to be laughing about any of this, as always is gunna be

!!!!!YoURZ F’N TRuLy!!!!!

THE TiN$LeToWN TRoUBLEMaKER…THE SeRyOU$ ONE!!!!

SO lets go ahead and go down the list shall we…Up first is the only one any of you may or may not consider this situations one and only

!!!!!INNoCeNT BySTaNDeR!!!!!

HA INNOCENT MY F’N BALLSACK!!!!

Ally CaLLy, I’d welcome you back to EPW, but you weren’t ever really apart of EPW and if you were it was of no consequence and I regret to inform you one way or another that shit will indeed fact continue! You may have been a big deal when we were still OCW sweetpea but as you will find out quick, fast, and in a hurry

!!!!!OCW is D-e-D DEAD!!!!!!

AS IS EVERYTHING YOU SAID AND DID THERE!!!!

EPW is a different beast entirely and if I for a moment get the slightest indication you don’t respect that I’ll have your phucking guts for GARTERZ! ANd look around MaMa GARTERS in this place is one thing we can never have enough of! You see Britt may in title be the owner of EPW just like she was during the death rattle of OCW, but as she learns more and more every week same as you will the one thing that truly RUNS ELEVATE PRO WRESTLING IS

!!!!!C.H.A.O.S.!!!!!

AND I JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE ITS CONDUCTOR!!!

YOU ARE NOT SAFE, and if you stand in my way the same thing that has happened to everyone else that has attemtped to do so will happen to you…and I GO OUT OF MY WAY TO HURT PEOPLE THAT STAND IN MY WAY! DOn’t believe me ask your

!!!!!F’N PARTNER!!!!

I BELIEVE HE STILL IS LICKING HIS WOUNDS FROM THE LAST BEATDOWN I GAVE HIM!!!

SO if I were you dear I would stay my ass in the shallow end and do your best not to cause too much of a commotion because I really have no reservations and won’t hesitate to doggie paddle over to where you are and dunk your head under the water and hold it there until the bubbles stop coming up! You may have walked back into this company seeking a new beginning seeing how the banner has changed since you were here last, but that new beginning will become a

!!!!TRAGIC F’N END!!!!!

IF YOU ARE THINKING YOU CAN STAND IN MY WAY!!!

Britt has big expectations for you as she rolled out the red carpet for your return but see that is the very reason I am standing here, because Britt knows and cares about as much about running a rassling promotion and being a role model as PDiDDy and BILL COSBY do about sexual boundaries! You think this contest she booked you in is some kind of opportunity? NO dear

!!!!FRAID NOT!!!!!

SHE IS TRYING TO USE YOU!!!!

SHe is trying to clean up a mess she made but is as unfit for the task as you are! Because as I said a moment ago CHAOS REIGNS HERE IN EPW, and if you aren’t careful this particular brand of CHAOS WILL CONSUME YOU CHEW YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OUT, it’ll be like your PROM NIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN! But look I’m not an unreasonable fella, and I know you didn’t ask for this…WHich is why I am going to give you one last piece of friendly advice before I climb in that ring and attempt to send you back to Britt with as many new scars as I can! THe one thing you wanna do her ya silly bitch is

!!!!TeMPeR YoUR EXPeCTaTiONZ!!!!

COME IN BRIGHT EYED AND BUSHY TAILED AND LEAVE STRUNG UP AND PHUCKED UP!!!

I don’t know you and I don’t care to…ANd at present you are in my way…And come Wednesday morning the one favor you will be able to do for yourself ya prissy bitch is not do anymore favors for BRITT F’N BALOR! Cause Ill rip off your head and shit down your neck just like you were Alex Davenport…and if you think I’m joking

!!!!!TRY ME!!!!!!!!

PRETTY…PRETTY F’N PLEASE!!!!

MOVING ON TO SOMEONE MORE IMPORTANT…HA! But only because he has something that belongs to me! DONNIE, DONNIE, DONNIE! Don’t think I forgot about you ya phuckin MO-MO cause I KNOW YOU AINT FORGOT ABOUT ME! You may take comfort in knowing you are safe at the next pay per view, but even if you survive the winner of this tournament you still have to know the day where you have to once again climb in the ring with me and put your prize on the line is

!!!!!INeViTaBLe!!!!!

AS IS THE F’N OUTCOME OF SED ENCOUNTER AND YOU KNOW IT PHUCK MOOK!

But here you are probably licking your chops thinking this is your chance to gain some measure of revenge from that time I made a fool out of you inside that steel cage, and I’m sorry to disappoint DILDO but that shit aint happening either! Because you are the QUEEN on Britt’s chess board and since our GOLDEN MEETING is on hold for the time being I have other work that needs doing and that is to make sure everyone and their MAMA know that it doesn’t matter if its CHESS or F’N CHECKERZ given any opportunity I’ll still wipe the got damn QUEEN OFF THE BOARD and you will all still have to sit back and watch as BRITT BALOR HERSELF HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO

!!!!!F’N KING ME!!!!!

AND BOY WON’T THAT BE THE F’N DAY!!!

Because you know what I am Donnie! You may be able to talk the big game and fool a few people into believing you are focused on other things like being the CHAMPION, but I wonder how you are able to accomplish such a thing when I have already proven myself YOUR SUPERIOR in the most vioelnt way possible? Everyday you have walked around and proudly carried that EPW Championship with you is nothing more than a lie. Because being the WORLD CHAMPION means you are the best…and DONNIE I have already proven that of all the things you may be mother phucker

!!!THE BEST AINT F’N IT!!!

AND YOU KNOW THAT BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE THAT SAT THERE AND WATCHED THE SHIT!!!

I can smell the fear and doubt coming from every word that oozes out of your phuckin mouth! Is this next time the time I make a fool out of you again? I guess only time will tell, but one thing you know about me bitch is that one way or another Je$TyR SeRyOuS ALWAYS

!!!!!LaUGHZ F’N LAST!!!!

AND THE NEXT TIME JUST LIKE LAST TIME WILL BE RIGHT IN YOUR F’N FACE!!!!

SO go ahead be Britt’s little solider boy…BE HER COMMANDING OFFICER, at the end of the day you are on the losing side and its only a matter of a tick and a tock before you discover she never had your back and was only using you to fight battles she can’t herself. She fed you to JMONT like she fed you to me…YOU STUMBLE SO MUCH YOU MAY AS WELL START FUCKING CRAWLING, but know that if its at Danger, the next pay per view or the one after that Donnie you will see me again and I will do what I have done this entire time and that is prove that you may hold the belt but you just like everyone else in EPW DANCES TO THE

!!!!F’N TUNE I PLAY!!!!!

…AND SPOILER ALERT BIATCH YOU DANCE LIKE A DRuNK FRAT BOY!!!!

The phuck out my face!


NOW I would say I saved the best for last but Britt, you aren’t the best at anything unless we are talking about

!!!!BEING A DUMB CUNT!!!!!!

CAUSE YOU REALLY ARE A DUMB CUNT YA DUMB CUNT!!!

It’s your laughther I hear the loudest, but if you are thinking this is the moment you swoop in and save your sister you once again my pet are SADLY F’N MISTAKEN K?!? Cause whether you realized already or miraculously do so sometime between now and whenever the one sad truth you are going to have to face sooner rather than later is she has already

!!!!!BEEN SAVED!!!!!

CAUSE SHE’D MUCH RATHER BE WHAT IVE MADE HER THAN YOUR ANYTHING!

The reason I have grown to despise you other than your general lack of respect for this business of ours is you are a CONTROLLER! You seek to control any and everything around you and your ceaseless struggle to do so is something that makes me

!!!!!L-O-L!!!!!

TO LITERALLY NO F’N END!!!!

How many security details are you gunna go through until you do what I tell you to at the end of everyone of these little promos HMMMM? The only security detail that can keep you safe from me and your little sister is every deity worshiped on the planet and even THEN ya SILLY BITCH I still wouldn’t say you could lay your head on your pillow at night and rest easy! Because every promise I have made you since this began I have kept. I am a true man of my word…ANd while you may think its funny that I created a monster in your kid sister if I were you I really wouldn’t laugh because it’s that fact alone that should keep you up at night…BEcause yes I did indeed fact

!!!!CREATE A MONSTER!!!!!

AND SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU BUILT BURN MORE THAN MY DUZ!!!

I may have been temporarily set back in my personal goals, but the mission remains the same, and I will continue spreading my message of CHAOS live on DANGER THIS WEEK as I have every single phucking week and now you watch what I have turned your sister into…ANd the thing that should keep you up at night Britt is maybe I did create a monster that I can’t control…But then again I’m not trying to control her…I am going to unleash her and well I think we can both see that there will be no caging that monster again once it’s released and again every bit of this is going to be ALL YOUR FAULT! Your EMPIRE WILL FALL…I will stop at nothing until you and everything you have built is reduced to smoldering scattering ashes, because you are unworthy! And on the day I return this company into the capable hands that know how to mold this coliseum of controlled chaos into the pro wrestling EMPIRE it was always meant to be…Is the day I stop laughing as you cry the very last of your tears knowing you were always going to lose and the one and only way this was ever going to end for you was with you and everyone who was foolish enough to follow you being violently, disrespectfully, and publicly forced to

!!!!!SoaK!!!!!

!!!!!SoMe!!!!

!!!!!!!UP!!!!!!

….AND NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME I HAVE ANOTHER CLASS TO TEACH

…SO I guess this one is DISMISSED!...FOR NOW HAHAHA!!!!


ANd with that Je$TyR opens the door to where we can see Olivia Austin raring back with that studded leather belt and bringing it down on Joli Vexx’s bare booty. Je$TyR then closes the door so we can’t see se he holds his index finger up and shakes it saying NO NO, as he then holds it over his lips telling you all SHHHHH, cause the things that are about to happen are going to be as unspeakable as this as always


…HaS BeeN YoUR PLea$uRE

4:19

GoT

-A-

??MiNuTe??