Stevie (Top 100!) is Inevitable.

[Stevie Satisfaction]

# My pain is self-chosen… #
# At least, so the prophet says #

September 25th, 2024.

Moments after Stevie Satisfaction finally won the World Title Tournament and thereby punching his ticket into the main event of And Justice for Brawl, Stevie pushes his way through the curtains and is immediately met by two EPW staff members with water and a towel. Covered in sweat and with a grimace across his face Stevie is only able to take a couple of steps past the curtains before the adrenaline rush wears off and he nearly faints. Luckily for Stevie, the two staff members are able to catch him and begin to walk him through the back holding him up from under each arm. Stevie splashes the water on his face as he attempts to drink some as well and in a couple of steps he waves off the two members of the EPW staff.

Stevie pats his face with the towel and finishes the rest of the water in the bottle as he slumps against the nearest wall taking a moment to soak in the victory in silence. Stevie turns his head in attention towards Cameraman Curt who is the one here still rolling and gives him a nod. The pain on Stevie’s face slowly washes away as a smile begins to slowly form across his lips, he takes a couple of long deep calming breaths before he stands up once again wrapping the towel around his head before taking some more steps.

That’s when things go horribly wrong...

Stevie only manages a couple of steps before he grabs his side with both hands and falls forward onto the ground! He begins to shout in excruciating pain as turns and lays on his back, Cameraman Curt puts the camera down on the ground next to Stevie and for the first time the Curt’s can be seen checking in on Stevie and calling for help. Soon the medical staff rush to begin to help and in the panic someone kicks the camera knocking it to static.

Some time must have passed as the camera comes back from static, as now it is Stevie Satisfaction who has been strapped to a stretcher with an oxygen mask over his face. His ribs have been packed with ice as the medical staff move him down the hallways of Madison Square Garden towards the back parking lot and to the ambulance that is waiting. Stevie is loaded into the back as the doors are shut which leave Cameraman Curt standing there. Someone else is obviously holding the camera at this point as they aim Curt’s shocked face. The color is completely gone leaving him nearly ghostly pale as he looks into the camera and speaks for the first time.

CAMERAMAN CURT: I don’t know… they said something about internal injuries… we have to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

With that, we fade to black.

With what has to be a long period of time that has passed, we fade back in from black. Cameraman Curt is back on the correct end of the lens while Stevie Satisfaction is back in front of the camera. For once, however, Stevie isn’t already talking as the camera begins to start rolling, instead Stevie’s attention is being taken up by the hanging banners for the dozens of Boston Celtic championship runs. That’s right, Stevie stands from the upper deck looking over a nearly empty TD Garden, the site for And Justice for Brawl. You’d also be correct in predicting that Stevie is wearing his very own ‘And Justice for Stevie’ t-shirt as well.

There is a long pause as Stevie continues to just stare out over those banners, it is only when Cameraman Curt clears his throat that Stevie’s concentration is finally brought to the camera.

“Across a thousand different universes, on a thousand different worlds this moment has already come to pass. My moment. And I can promise you that in most of those instances across those universes tonight’s marquee reads that Stevie Satisfaction is defending and not challenging for the EPW World Heavyweight title, the biggest prize in the game, at the TD Gardens. Why defending, you ask? Because in a thousand different universes Stevie Satisfaction already fulfilled the promise he made before his very first EPW PPV. And that promise was that the moment I won the Revival Championship I wasn’t going to wait, I was going to cash that in for a shot at the World Heavyweight title on the same night.

Right when the dust settled between Clyde Newton and Donnie Harris… wait, I’m legally allowed to say Clyde Newton’s name, right?”

There is a shrug and grunt from Cameraman Curt, and Stevie just continues right along like nothing happened. Stevie still hasn’t turned his attention away from the banners that hang overhead.

“...on those thousand different worlds, I cashed in and became the EPW World Heavyweight champion. That is, if you are one of those that believe in the multiverse theory. But not on this world, not in this universe! In this universe the fans were robbed as White Claw was spit into my face preventing me from grabbing that Revival Championship at the top of the ladder. Preventing me from winning the title on that night.

But here we are anyway. Months later, but still at the point in time where Stevie Satisfaction is on the TD Gardens marquee… the only difference now is that I am only challenging for the EPW World Heavyweight Championship. But let us not confuse the situation, this is where all universes across reality have come together, because no matter the universe this is where destiny has put me on the doorstep to greatness.

Perhaps my moment was sweet on those other worlds, perhaps my championship win will be talked about forever and ever for those who saw it in Tampa Bay… but in this universe? I feel that here among these legendary teams, with these legendary players in this legendary arena that my moment is going to be even sweeter.”

For the first time, Stevie turns his attention towards the camera and he removes his sunglasses as his eyes grow wider. Yes, he’s one of those people who wear sunglasses indoors and isn’t blind.

“Now, don’t take this in a manner of disrespecting Donnie Harris, our current champion. I have nothing but the utmost respect for him and what he’s been able to do in EPW. Hell, you can go back throughout the years and Donnie Harris is the original member of this roster… going back all the way to when this place was called OCW. I’m legally allowed to say OCW, right?”

There’s another grunt and shrug from Cameraman Curt, and once again Stevie has already moved on.

“Donnie Harris, you’re the original around here. The original Outcast, as they say. You’re the one that overcame the odds of being stuck in limbo to rising up and finally capturing the biggest prize in the game. Donnie Harris, I don’t just respect everything you’ve done, I envy it. See, I envy a man who can reach their dreams, coming from absolutely nowhere and going all the way to the top. I envy a man who digs down deep each and every single night and gives the people exactly what they paid their hard earned money to see, only to lace up the boots again and go out there and do it the very next night. I can envy a man who can turn around their fortunes and change the narrative of who they are in the world of professional wrestling.

But here’s the thing Donnie Harris, I’m not talking about you right now.

I’m talking about myself. Because ever since you captured the biggest prize in the game, you’ve done nothing with that title belt. In fact, that title belt has been little more than a dust collector since you defeated Clyde Newton for it. Oh, you’ve been elsewhere! Don’t we all know it, you’ve done nothing but brag about it on every Danger. Yet, not a single time have you built the brand that you hold the title of. Not a single Danger since Revival have the fans of EPW gone home that evening remembering the amazing World Championship match that night. Oh sure, they saw a couple of average non-title matches… including the choke job against J Mont.

Me? I have been at every single Danger since Revival. And not have I been at every single Danger, I’ve wrestled at every single Danger since Revival. Hell, let’s take it one step further than that, at every single Danger since Revival I have put on the match of the night. I have put on the match that the fans go home talking about, I have built EPW’s brand more in two months without the title than you ever have with the title. I am the reason these fans are buying tickets to these shows, I am the reason we have been packing it in every single night. I have been the Danger MVP for so long now that they're just calling me the Stevie-P at this point. Because even if they do not see the name Donnie Harris anywhere on the card, they know that Stevie-P is on the card and at least they will be getting some sort of satisfaction!”

Stevie adjusts his view back away from the camera and back towards the championship banners that hang in the TD Gardens. Another long stare at the banners that proudly hang across the rafters. It’s at that moment that Stevie is suddenly distracted by something happening below the nosebleed section.

“Oh wait, there’s Morbid Wolf… they let him into the building tonight? There’s going to be children in here tonight, that’s a risky call by the legal team. Crazy. Curt, just make sure you edit this next part out, ok?”

Stevie leans over the guardrailing far enough and lets loose with a silent but impressive amount of saliva before ducking back behind the guardrailing laughing at the yells from the lower level. Don’t worry, Curt’s going to forget to edit this part out. However, even as Stevie laughs he also begins to hold his side in some serious pain. The laughter soon fades as the look on his face goes to one of concern, Stevie slumps uncomfortably in one of the padded chairs. It takes Stevie a couple of moments to fight off the pain, but even as the pain fades he makes sure to bring the camera in closer so he does not have to talk as loudly.

“Let’s talk about sacrifice, Donnie Harris. I heard you just recently mention it yourself. It’s a wild word if you think about it, sacrifice. In times long ago it meant to kill an animal or even a person in order to finish some form of ritual… in modern times it’s been used as a subject of an Elton John song. While it is a great song, don’t get me wrong, the word has still lost some of its luster from the days of when heads would roll down the temples, you know what I mean? Nowadays it is a word that is thrown around like confetti with just about as much weight behind it, many have claimed to have done it, but very few understand it.

But for me? I understand it. The word still has its power. I’ve sacrificed, Donnie. I’ve sacrificed a lot to get to this position both over the past few years and most definitely sacrificed recently. The doctors told me that the damage done to my ribs over the past couple of months might take even longer to recover, hell they told me after the last Danger that I should just hold up and take it easy for a while. Could you imagine the Danger Stevie-P taking it easy for a while? Me neither. Our match will be no different than any episode of Danger, under the brightest lights, on the biggest stage and for the biggest prize I will sacrifice my personal health and professional future for that title.

Sacrifice, Donnie.

For that title, I will sacrifice everything I have left in the tank and then some. I will seize my glory, and leave the crowd dripping in satisfaction. Don’t worry, I will leave wet naps under everyone’s seats.”

Sure enough Stevie produces a couple of packs of wet naps and tosses one under the seat he’s in and the seats next to him. As he pulls himself back up into a seated position he holds his left side again in some pain and tries to get comfortable once again. The pain is just seemingly too much as he holds his ribs and for the first time looks into the camera resigned to the fact that he’s given away his secrets. Calmly, he speaks to the camera.

“Just so that we’re both perfectly clear, there are still a good number of ribs on the right side of my body that haven’t been bruised, cracked or outright broken yet. Go ahead and target the good side, Donnie or hell just go after the bad side. No matter what, don’t hold back, give me the best strikes you’ve got and I’ll make sure to give you everything right back just as hard and just as violent.

And when the dust settles this time, I’m not going to need a Revival Championship to earn a shot at my prize… I will already have my prize in my clutches. I will shake the multiverse to its very core because this is more than Justice for Stevie, this is about destiny. It is my destiny to be here tonight and to win the EPW World Heavyweight title, it is your destiny Donnie to be once again buried at and Justice for Brawl.

So Donnie, in the words of a fellow world conqueror that broke box office records. Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same.”

Stevie slowly stands up, fighting back the pain in his ribs with his best stiff upper lip expression on his face. He runs his hand across the ‘And Justice for Stevie’ logo across his t-shirt before he walks off to distribute even more wet naps to all the chairs in the upper deck of the TD Gardens. We fade to black.

October 1st, 2024.

The beginning of spooky season opens up just as Halloween 2 intended for it to open up, in a hospital. This one begins in the hospital bed of Stevie Satisfaction, to be exact. And before you say something like, oh we’ve seen this one already, this time Stevie appears to be in a real hospital with actual machines, including one machine that beeps every so often. Stevie, who is lying in bed complete in a hospital gown, slowly comes to and begins to look around the room in a little bit of a shock. It is at that moment that a female member of the hospital staff walks into the room with a tray of food.

Stevie gives her a suspicious look as she sets down the food.

OUR-STEVIE: You can’t be an Alan, can you?

NURSE: What?

OUR-STEVIE: Alan.

NURSE: Nope, Debbie.

She taps her name tag with a bit of a smile. Stevie thinks about it for a moment and smiles as well at the pretty Debbie.

OUR-STEVIE: Nevermind, say what kind of jello is that?

Before the nurse can answer Stevie's amazing flirting attempt, the doctor opens up the door and perfectly timing that cockblock. All Stevie can do is glare at the doctor who is holding a clipboard and not caring as to who is in the room at the moment.

DOC: Well, how are we feeling today Stevie? Hopefully, you should be feeling a little bit more comfortable since we’ve upped the drip on your painkiller. Just try not to move around too much as those ribs are not looking that great right now and while we’ve stabilized you there is still a risk for further injury.

OUR-STEVIE: It’s a little hard to breathe, but I’m fighting through. I should be out of here today, right?

That question gets the doctor to look up from his clipboard with a confused look on his face. He gives a look towards the nurse for the first time and the two share a really inappropriate chuckle. The doctor then turns his attention back towards Stevie.

DOC: Seriously?

OUR-STEVIE: Yeah.

DOC: You’ll be lucky if you’re ready to leave in the next week. I don’t think you understand your condition, you’ve been bouncing back and forth between conscious and unconscious for a couple of days now, before that you were in agonizing pain. Your ribs were on the brink of being broken, and I said ribs as in multiple ones. So, no you’re not getting out today or tomorrow and as far as physical activity goes? You’re going to have to take it easy for the next couple of months.

None of this seems to be registering with Stevie, except for the last part. The part of the next couple of months catches his attention which stops him from poking at his green jello for the moment.

OUR-STEVIE: Couple of months?

DOC: Yeah, whatever you do you’re going to be limited as far as physical activity goes for a couple of months. What is it that you do, by the way?

OUR-STEVIE: Professional wrestler.

If the chuckle before was inappropriate then the doctor bursting into laughter at this point is just beyond any sort of positive bedside manner. Both the doctor and the nurse stifle their laughter as they leave the room to probably burst out completely. Stevie exhales, but in doing so he winces in some serious pain and he holds his side. At that moment, while Stevie is at his lowest he begins to hear something coming from the open window in the room. Against the advice of his doctor to take it easy, Stevie pulls himself up to his feet and begins to shuffle over towards the window to see exactly what the hullabaloo is about.

The scene is incredible, overwhelming and confusing at first. Standing outside the window to Stevie’s hospital room are dozens of people holding candles and doing some light joyous singing. Stevie looks over the crowd that has gathered confused, until the leader of the Secret Society of Stevies steps forward.

HEAD-STEVIE: Stevie, it is us… the Society of Stevies here to help you through this troublesome time. Since you have joined our collective, you have been one of the fastest rising and inspirational Stevies in the entire group. And look, because of you we have even found three more female Stevies who are willing to join. Now, you are just a couple of weeks away from possibly becoming the World Heavyweight Champion and spreading the name of Stevie across the nation like no Stevie has done. Chili Stevie would like to say a word as well.

CHILI-STEVIE: Stevie, though you could not beat my chili with your own offering, I still look up to you because of all that you do. And if I could I would donate my ribs to you in order for you to make your upcoming wrestling match. However, since that is impossible, I will offer you free chili meals that will provide you the fuel to power your way to this championship.

There are a couple of cheers from the crowd as chili Stevie gives a thumbs up. Another of one of the Stevies steps forward. This is OBGYN Stevie, one of the most popular Stevies at all the functions.

OBGYN-STEVIE: Stevie! As a doctor myself, I am a little hesitant to say that it’s a good idea for you to wrestle… but, as a fellow Stevie, we need you to find the strength to fight. Also, I can get you some really good drugs.

HEAD-STEVIE: Fight, Stevie. We all need you to fight. You are the one to inspire the Society of Stevies, and if you are able to win the championship you will be in the top one hundred… I’ll have to check, but yeah you should be up there. So fight through the pain, don’t give up. Fight!

The entire group of Stevie’s begin to chant “fight” along with head Stevie. The camera pans up to our Stevie who scoops his Jello up and guzzles it down with authority and with a tear in his eye. Feeling the energy from the crowd he tears away at the hospital gown and the wires in his arms as he readies himself to march out of this hospital.

Some football type of music begins to play, probably from the crowd.

And we fade to black.