Post by jestyrseryous on Oct 12, 2024 2:43:07 GMT -5
Look I’ll tell ya right now I aint no phuckin doctor, matter of fact even if I would have been admitted into medical school I wouldn’t have gone! Yet despite this medical shortcoming it is still plain as
What the main problem is with our present medical field. They say advancements in modern medicine are being made every single day yet they haven’t really cured shit since fricken
And do you want to know why? I mean I shouldn’t even have to tell you, but I’m gunna anyway. It’s so painfully obvious it may as well kick you in the nuts or in your mysterious lady parts. Either way the reason they aint curing shit these days is for the same reason anyone does anything in this GODFORSAKEN country we live in. The simplest questions more times often than not have even more simple answers and the simple answer here
The government especially from a medical standpoint aint nothin but a bunch of got damn legal drug dealers and pill pushers. They don’t want to cure your ailment they only want to treat it, so you continue to fill their pockets while they make you and your moderate to severe plaque psoriasis comfortable unless you are one of the unfortunate ones that has to suffer the laundry list of side affects they speed through during those GAWD AWFUL COMMERCIALS! I’m sure at this point you are wondering what in the phuckin FUCK my social commentary has to do with me and my present situation in the E-P-W…And again I have to ask
?ISN’T IT F’N OBVioU$?
BRITT PHUCKING BAYLOR is the pill pusher in this little scenario because she doesn’t want to cure the actual disease rotting her pro rasslin company from the inside out…No she only seeks to manage its symptoms, enter
I’d say don’t make me phucking laugh but we are WELL PASSED THAT POINT AT THIS POINT I ASSURE YOU! She may be the worst one I got but mi amigo the former holder of the FIGHT4 CHAMPIONSHIP drops the title literally ten seconds after she dropped Ms. Callaway and now Britt is hoping her bruised but brand new toy can treat the symptom that is the rapidly expanding and contracting chaos that is consuming her and her wrestling promotion more and more with every single week. But I assure you all right here and right now Ms. Baylor has been mistaken about all sorts of things since I’ve known her but none more so than the simple fact that I aint the
The chaos I’ve all but recently introduced into EPW’s bloodstream if anything is the cure and just like the flu vaccine you have to inject the disease to fight the disease. Because the only way the cancer that is Britt Baylor can be countered is if we speed up the process and break every single thing she has ever built down to its last molecule and then start over from scratch! But Britt is violently content on seeing her own creation dashed against life’s dead end brick wall that she won’t listen to reason…ANd so since that is the case we have to resort to other methods…
?DON’T WE??
SO allow me to be plain, according to the ART OF WAR one of the primary objectives is to inflict the most damage and death as you can without having to pay heavy costs on that front as well. Which brings us back to the subject of
Because mind you CHILDREN that is exactly what the phuck we are doin here isn’t it? FIghting a war for not just the soul of EPW, but all of pro wrestling period! Because despite Ms. Baylor’s blatant and never ceasing blunders as EL-CaP-ETANO of this little ship I still firmly believe Elevate Pro Wrestling is, was, and always will be the got damn
And well that is my mission. Why does it mean so much to me? I’ve made myself quite clear on this subject a time or two before, but it’s because of what this company stands for and could be if Britt could bring herself to stop getting in her own way. We stand as one of the only grounds where true creative freedom exists, where the action and the talent speaks for itself…Or at least that is how it will be once this company is restored to it’s proper leaders, but in order for that to happen this conflict needs a definitive, abrupt, and final
And you have tried ignoring me thinking me some pest that you could just overlook or underestimate, and now that you perhaps realize the true gravity of the situation after what I’ve done with your kid sister you have tried flexing or pushing back, and well I just want you to know that what happens next like everything else that has transpired up to this point is one hundred…EVERY PHUCKING BIT
You have become very meddlesome Ms. Baylor and you have taken more from this profession and myself more than I care to count, so tonight we balance the phucking scales a weee bit! Tonight I star…errr continue taking things back and I’m here to
But here latelty Britt I gotta hand it to you…You devised ways to keep me from personal goals and ambitions, things that would normally sidetrack me from my true ultimate goal, but tonight I prove just how so very wrong you are, because tonight I prove once and for all that you…NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY CUNT…YOU DO
Don’t believe me?...WELL WATCH THIS SHIT HERE MUTHA LUVA!!!!!
Scene then cuts to the side of a dirt road in the literal MIDDLE OF F’N NO WHERE!!! We see a 18 Wheeler truck pulled over on the side of the road. We see a man hog tied, bound and gagged on the ground and the back of the truck is wide open. We see a few random guys wearing ski masks and all black coming in and out of the truck, removing the contents. But be advised this is no mere robbery…OHH NO it’s actually quite the opposite. These men are actually loading things onto the truck just as quickly as they are loading them off. Boxes being replaced with identical boxes. As the IPHONE camera pans around we see none other than VeXX in her black and purple coursette, black fishnet stockings, and black leather boots with metal rings on the sides, and of course her teeny tiny top hat. Her pretty face is painted up like the clowns usually is, as she doesn’t even need a smile painted on as her eyes beam with excitement and the thrill of doing this here dirty work as she stands on the ground overseeing the men as they work.
MoVe YOUR ASSES GRUNTS MR. J expects this here delivery to ARRIVE ON TIME! HEY YOU I DON’T KNOW YOU! Whats ya name?...
Um I don’t think we’re supposed to…
SHUT UP I’M ASKIN THE QUESTIONS HERE! Were you looking at my ass? Cause that aint in the job description fella…Matter of fact!
VeXX reaches behind her and removes a black and silver switchblade that she presses as the blade shoots out and she dangles it right in front of his face.
THAT’S HOW BITCHEZ GET CUT AROUND HERE!
VEXX STOP IT WE’VE NO TIME FOR THIS NONSENSE!!!!
Suddenly Vexx’s eyes dart up and light up and match that beaming smile of hers as we see none other than the man known as Je$TyR SeRyOu$ walks up. Only here this fine evening he doesn’t look like Je$TyR. There is no face paint. Just his hair slicked back, the same UNIFORM (NOT OUTFIT…UNI-FORM) that the man hog tied on the ground is wearing and one very noticeable ugly moustahce. Yet on his face as always is a plastered arrogant smirk as he walks up with a cigarette hanging from his lips and a stern look in his eyes.
MISTAAAHHHHH J!!!!...What happened to your face?
Nothin ya silly ass this is my actual face! What’s wrong with you?
Well what’s with the dead chipmunk on your face you been hanging out with WHATS HER FACE AGAIN?
Ohh I almost forgot I had this on…It’s a MUSTACHE YA GOOBER! I’m posed to be INCOGNITO REMEMBER?...and SHE has a name ya know!
YES I KNOW, I just don’t like it or her very much!
BE that as it may DEAR I’m afraid it was all a necessary and careful part of this here plan that looks to be going spectacularly! Are we almost ready to go?
YESSSSIRRRR-E-BoB MR. J! They are loading the last of it right now! You really think this is going to work? You know how hard headed Britt can be!
VeXXy sweetheart, sassy BRITCHEZ LISTEN TO ME! DO you think I would have gone through all of this effort if I didn’t think this would work? Hard headed or not this will force her hand and whether she likes it or not she will have no choice but to bend to our will on this one! She has meddled in our affairs for long enough and now LIVE ON THE P-P-V we demonstrate to any and every pair of eyes fixed on EPW WHO REALLY RUNS THIS BITCH! ANd spoiler alert IT AINT BRITT F’N BAYLOR!!!
Yeah but you don’t think we’ve gone a little too far this time?
VeXXy my dear, my only real fear is if we didn’t go far enough! Now…
Mr. SeRyOu$ sir…Everything is all loaded up and ready for transport sir!
…DID YOU JUST INTERRUPT ME?
I’m sorry sir you told us to let you know when…
I KNOW WHAT I FUCKIN SAID!
Yeah GET HIM MR. J I don’t like that one! HE was lookin at my ass?
When?
Just now?
VEXX you are facing him it’s literally impossible! OK whatever! We’ve no time for this! OK let’s get this show on the road. Vexxy here will pay you fellas and do yourself a favor DUMB ASS, keep your eyes where she can see him, cause like for real DOGGIE she will cut you!
Yeah well what do you want us to do with the driver?
Uhhh not my chair not my problem that’s what I say! Take him into town buy him a beer, leave him right phuckin here I really don’t give a PHUCK! K VeXXy PAY THE BOYZ! And actually pay them this time they did a STAND UP JOB!
You know you used to be FUN MR. J!
Ohhhh VEXXY the FUN MY DEAR IS JUST BEGINNING! K give us a smooch! Who’s My FaVoRiTe LiL NaUGHTy GiRL?
Me!!!
There’z a GooD GIRL! OK…Let’s get down with the funky shit! See you all on the other side!
Scene opens at the TD GARDENS arena in Boston Mass where AND JUSTICE FOR BRAWL IS SET TO GO LIVE in a mere matter of hours. We see a large 18 wheeler truck pull into the back loading docks and for the first time we see a large logo on the truck that reads KUNA FOODSERVICE on the side. The truck pulls in and smashes into the back of the loading dock as it slightly pulls forward once the loud crunching sound echoes throughout the dock. The driver side door opens and out hops JUSTIN DORK (but shhh its actually Je$TyR SeRyoU$ in DiSGuI$E…member?) He stops and looks in the mirror and fixes his fake mustache as he walks up and shakes hands with the arena manager.
After briefly apologizing about the mess he made with the inadvertent crash the two men shake hands and Mr. Dork walks to the back of the truck and flips the latch opening the back where all the food to be sold at the concession stands this fine evening is ready to be heated up and served to the hungry EPW patrons. The dock loaders come with their dollys and forklifts and begin this massive unloading. Justin Dork does his best to contain his excitement and if anyone bothered to look closely they may be able to tell something was amiss with this here situation, but for all they knew he was just a weirdo truck driver with a chipmunk for a mustahce and probably a fettish for kiddie porn (sounds like another Justin we know huh?)
Point is though the food was unloaded off the truck and taken to the almost countless concession stands strategically placed all throughout the arena and with the show going live in just a few short hours it was well beyond too late to stop this truly diabolical plan from being set in motion. ANd what is this plan you may wonder?...Well don’t you worry CHILDREN cause Mr. J is finna layyyyy it all out fa ya!
…A FeW MiLeZ FROM the TD ARENA we see Je$TyR SeRyOu$ removing his fake mustache as his face is once again painted to absolute perfection. A wicked grin covering his face from one ear to the other as his plan is nearing the moment of perfection, and he tosses it behind him where suddenly what was out of focus is now in focus and what we find ourselves glaring at is the KUNA 18 wheeler set a blaze. Je$TyR SeRyOuS is well away from the fire at this point as he takes a seat on a near by stump and holds his IPHONE up so we can see his face only his face. ANd as he lights himself up a cigarette and taked that first soothing drag he seemingly collects his thoughts and then begins doing that thing he does…
Britt Baylor and Alexandra Callaway if you are watching this that means we are ohh I dunno an hour and some change into the PPV already! But I wanted to take a few moments to talk just the three of us because well while I have been known to shoot my mouth off from time to time I need you two dumb twats to scrape the semen from your ears and
TIME is of the essence ladies and you are going to think and act carefully if you two are going to avoid the type of
Now ALLY…we will get to your simple stupid ass in just a tick! Right now Britt has a SeRyOu$ F’N PROBLEM on her hands and this once I don’t mean just me ya see! Britt…
Scene then shows Je$TyR lower his camera reach into his pocket and removes a little baggy filled with a white crystal like powder. For you dopes that don’t know he is holding a bag of drugs…What kind?...Well shut the fuck up he’s finna tell ya!
You see this Britt? I know you know what it is, because judging by the laundry list of people you’ve let inside you just over the last two years it goes without saying you’ve put more of this up your nose than anyone cares to measure! Only this isn’t any of the baby laxatives you be snorting. You see it’s a special conoxition of my own design…err kinda…OK I’m friends with some CHEMIST…whatever! THe point is this stuff can only be found in New Orleanz…I CALLZ IT!!!
Unless of course you take too much of it and then well things can go south pretty quickly! Don’t worry Im not trying to sell it to you because you are a cunt! The reason I bring it up is because I need you to know that I hijacked the KUNA foodservice truck you see burning in the background and I had a few friends unload the food that was supposed to be delivered to the arena with food that I had specially made just for this special occasion! Now like I said normally this lil substance here is meant for a good no GREAT TIME! But well suffice to say I put enough of it in one of those containers of food to kill a got damn
ANd the bitch of it is there is no tellin which food product I put it in see? It could be in the hot dogs, the buns, the nacho cheese, the pretzels…IT COULD BE IN ANY OF THEM! And there are only three people that know which box it is! Now at this point you have two choices BITCHFACE! You can either not sell concession stands and have fun explaining that shit to the press, because sure you can maybe blame me…But well
?WHO DO I WORK FOR?
So if I go down for this GuESS WHO’S CoMiN TOOO!!!! So yeah not the best option right?...Fortunatley there is a second! You see you have meddled in my affairs for far too long and with this match being a title match and you insisting on being at ringside I just can’t take the chance of you getting in my way again so here is whats gunna happen CUNT! You are not going to be handcuffed to the your sister…NO MAM! YOU are going to handcuff yourself to the
Mainly because I want you to have a front row seat to watch me STOP YOUR F’N PRINCESS BACK INTO A GOT DAMN
And the moment you handcuff yourself to sed ring post your sister will then call one of her loyal people from when she was helping you “RUN THINGS’ a while back and they will dispose of the ill gotten goods that threaten the PR NIGHTMARE OF A LIFETIME! Refuse this BRITT and you run the risk of having one or several people die a terrible death live on PPV and then you will be on TV for the next few months and then probably in a jail cell where you will have to resort to being GAY FOR THE STAY to keep yourself safe from the numerous people that will want to rip your head off and shit down your neck because really you aren’t the most likeable person we know
?ARE YA?
So get your head out of your ass…and think…THINK ABOUT
Because well this is a real problem with real consequences, and you really have no control despite the illusion of it…and speaking of ILLUSIONS…HEY
Yeah I didn’t think so! After CAP handed you your ass and dropped what will soon be my FIGHT4 TITLE at your feet you got a whiff of how differently things are here now didnja? Sure she rolled the red carpet out for you making you think it was a one way ticket for the queen to return to her throne, ohh but honey
And come Monday MORNING I will wipe you from the board entirely! Because what this is really about I am sick and phucking tired of Britt handing out EPW Championships to washed up shit kickers like you like they are her lil
So your quest to return and to reclaim the FIGHT4 CHAMPIONSHIP will end the exact same way it began this go round with a got damn
MaMa YOU AINT SEEN SHIT YET!!! My methods may be a bit on the extreme side, but I get results and the results I am after is to save this company from DISEASES LIKE YOU! THat think they can just walk in here and claim whatever spot because their name used to mean somethin. But the name Alexandra Callaway will fade back into the nothingness from wence it came after this PPV, after I climb in that ring and give you what you really deserve. Because we didn’t miss you and we never needed you! The only real contribution you can make to EPW at this point love is to climb in the ring and take what you got coming, because the EPW you left aint the same one you came back to! NOW CHAOS RUNS THE SHOW and your only option at this point is to
…ohh yeah and I almost forgot
!!!!!F’N DAY!!!!!
TO ME AND EVERYONE ELSE WITH OR WITHOUT 20-20
What the main problem is with our present medical field. They say advancements in modern medicine are being made every single day yet they haven’t really cured shit since fricken
!!!!!P.O.L.I.O.!!!!!!
…HAVE THEY???
And do you want to know why? I mean I shouldn’t even have to tell you, but I’m gunna anyway. It’s so painfully obvious it may as well kick you in the nuts or in your mysterious lady parts. Either way the reason they aint curing shit these days is for the same reason anyone does anything in this GODFORSAKEN country we live in. The simplest questions more times often than not have even more simple answers and the simple answer here
!!!!SiMPLeToNZ!!!!
IS THERE IS NO F’N $$$ IN THE CURE IS THERE???
The government especially from a medical standpoint aint nothin but a bunch of got damn legal drug dealers and pill pushers. They don’t want to cure your ailment they only want to treat it, so you continue to fill their pockets while they make you and your moderate to severe plaque psoriasis comfortable unless you are one of the unfortunate ones that has to suffer the laundry list of side affects they speed through during those GAWD AWFUL COMMERCIALS! I’m sure at this point you are wondering what in the phuckin FUCK my social commentary has to do with me and my present situation in the E-P-W…And again I have to ask
?ISN’T IT F’N OBVioU$?CAUSE IT SURE AS SHIT IS TO ME!!!!
BRITT PHUCKING BAYLOR is the pill pusher in this little scenario because she doesn’t want to cure the actual disease rotting her pro rasslin company from the inside out…No she only seeks to manage its symptoms, enter
!!!!!ALLY CALLY!!!!!
AND HER RINKY DINKY RED F’N CARPET!!!
I’d say don’t make me phucking laugh but we are WELL PASSED THAT POINT AT THIS POINT I ASSURE YOU! She may be the worst one I got but mi amigo the former holder of the FIGHT4 CHAMPIONSHIP drops the title literally ten seconds after she dropped Ms. Callaway and now Britt is hoping her bruised but brand new toy can treat the symptom that is the rapidly expanding and contracting chaos that is consuming her and her wrestling promotion more and more with every single week. But I assure you all right here and right now Ms. Baylor has been mistaken about all sorts of things since I’ve known her but none more so than the simple fact that I aint the
!!!!!GoT DAMN Di$ea$E!!!!!
…SHE IS AND ALWAYS F’N HAS BEEN!!!
The chaos I’ve all but recently introduced into EPW’s bloodstream if anything is the cure and just like the flu vaccine you have to inject the disease to fight the disease. Because the only way the cancer that is Britt Baylor can be countered is if we speed up the process and break every single thing she has ever built down to its last molecule and then start over from scratch! But Britt is violently content on seeing her own creation dashed against life’s dead end brick wall that she won’t listen to reason…ANd so since that is the case we have to resort to other methods…
?DON’T WE??YA THICK SKULLED STUBBORN STUPID CUNT???
SO allow me to be plain, according to the ART OF WAR one of the primary objectives is to inflict the most damage and death as you can without having to pay heavy costs on that front as well. Which brings us back to the subject of
!$! MoDeRn MeDeCiNe…KiNDA !$!
OR TO BE MORE SPECIFIC CHEMICAL WARFARE!!!
Because mind you CHILDREN that is exactly what the phuck we are doin here isn’t it? FIghting a war for not just the soul of EPW, but all of pro wrestling period! Because despite Ms. Baylor’s blatant and never ceasing blunders as EL-CaP-ETANO of this little ship I still firmly believe Elevate Pro Wrestling is, was, and always will be the got damn
!!!!!GuIDING LiGHT!!!!!
OF ALL PRO WRESTLING…PERIOD!!!!
And well that is my mission. Why does it mean so much to me? I’ve made myself quite clear on this subject a time or two before, but it’s because of what this company stands for and could be if Britt could bring herself to stop getting in her own way. We stand as one of the only grounds where true creative freedom exists, where the action and the talent speaks for itself…Or at least that is how it will be once this company is restored to it’s proper leaders, but in order for that to happen this conflict needs a definitive, abrupt, and final
!!!!R.E.S.O.L.U.T.I.O.N.!!!!
AND WE ARE WELL BEYOND PEACE AT THIS POINT AINT WE BRITT TITZ???
And you have tried ignoring me thinking me some pest that you could just overlook or underestimate, and now that you perhaps realize the true gravity of the situation after what I’ve done with your kid sister you have tried flexing or pushing back, and well I just want you to know that what happens next like everything else that has transpired up to this point is one hundred…EVERY PHUCKING BIT
!!!!!YOUR F’N FAULT!!!!!
SO IF YOU WANNA BLAME SOMEONE FIND A F’n MIRROR BITCH!!!
You have become very meddlesome Ms. Baylor and you have taken more from this profession and myself more than I care to count, so tonight we balance the phucking scales a weee bit! Tonight I star…errr continue taking things back and I’m here to
!!!!SNATCH ALLZ I CAN!!!!!
LEAVING YOU WITHOUT A POT 2 PISS IN!!!!
But here latelty Britt I gotta hand it to you…You devised ways to keep me from personal goals and ambitions, things that would normally sidetrack me from my true ultimate goal, but tonight I prove just how so very wrong you are, because tonight I prove once and for all that you…NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY CUNT…YOU DO
!!!!!N.O.T.!!!!!
RULE EPW CHAOS DOES!!!!!
Don’t believe me?...WELL WATCH THIS SHIT HERE MUTHA LUVA!!!!!
Scene then cuts to the side of a dirt road in the literal MIDDLE OF F’N NO WHERE!!! We see a 18 Wheeler truck pulled over on the side of the road. We see a man hog tied, bound and gagged on the ground and the back of the truck is wide open. We see a few random guys wearing ski masks and all black coming in and out of the truck, removing the contents. But be advised this is no mere robbery…OHH NO it’s actually quite the opposite. These men are actually loading things onto the truck just as quickly as they are loading them off. Boxes being replaced with identical boxes. As the IPHONE camera pans around we see none other than VeXX in her black and purple coursette, black fishnet stockings, and black leather boots with metal rings on the sides, and of course her teeny tiny top hat. Her pretty face is painted up like the clowns usually is, as she doesn’t even need a smile painted on as her eyes beam with excitement and the thrill of doing this here dirty work as she stands on the ground overseeing the men as they work.
MoVe YOUR ASSES GRUNTS MR. J expects this here delivery to ARRIVE ON TIME! HEY YOU I DON’T KNOW YOU! Whats ya name?...
Um I don’t think we’re supposed to…
SHUT UP I’M ASKIN THE QUESTIONS HERE! Were you looking at my ass? Cause that aint in the job description fella…Matter of fact!
VeXX reaches behind her and removes a black and silver switchblade that she presses as the blade shoots out and she dangles it right in front of his face.
THAT’S HOW BITCHEZ GET CUT AROUND HERE!
VEXX STOP IT WE’VE NO TIME FOR THIS NONSENSE!!!!
Suddenly Vexx’s eyes dart up and light up and match that beaming smile of hers as we see none other than the man known as Je$TyR SeRyOu$ walks up. Only here this fine evening he doesn’t look like Je$TyR. There is no face paint. Just his hair slicked back, the same UNIFORM (NOT OUTFIT…UNI-FORM) that the man hog tied on the ground is wearing and one very noticeable ugly moustahce. Yet on his face as always is a plastered arrogant smirk as he walks up with a cigarette hanging from his lips and a stern look in his eyes.
MISTAAAHHHHH J!!!!...What happened to your face?
Nothin ya silly ass this is my actual face! What’s wrong with you?
Well what’s with the dead chipmunk on your face you been hanging out with WHATS HER FACE AGAIN?
Ohh I almost forgot I had this on…It’s a MUSTACHE YA GOOBER! I’m posed to be INCOGNITO REMEMBER?...and SHE has a name ya know!
YES I KNOW, I just don’t like it or her very much!
BE that as it may DEAR I’m afraid it was all a necessary and careful part of this here plan that looks to be going spectacularly! Are we almost ready to go?
YESSSSIRRRR-E-BoB MR. J! They are loading the last of it right now! You really think this is going to work? You know how hard headed Britt can be!
VeXXy sweetheart, sassy BRITCHEZ LISTEN TO ME! DO you think I would have gone through all of this effort if I didn’t think this would work? Hard headed or not this will force her hand and whether she likes it or not she will have no choice but to bend to our will on this one! She has meddled in our affairs for long enough and now LIVE ON THE P-P-V we demonstrate to any and every pair of eyes fixed on EPW WHO REALLY RUNS THIS BITCH! ANd spoiler alert IT AINT BRITT F’N BAYLOR!!!
Yeah but you don’t think we’ve gone a little too far this time?
VeXXy my dear, my only real fear is if we didn’t go far enough! Now…
Mr. SeRyOu$ sir…Everything is all loaded up and ready for transport sir!
…DID YOU JUST INTERRUPT ME?
I’m sorry sir you told us to let you know when…
I KNOW WHAT I FUCKIN SAID!
Yeah GET HIM MR. J I don’t like that one! HE was lookin at my ass?
When?
Just now?
VEXX you are facing him it’s literally impossible! OK whatever! We’ve no time for this! OK let’s get this show on the road. Vexxy here will pay you fellas and do yourself a favor DUMB ASS, keep your eyes where she can see him, cause like for real DOGGIE she will cut you!
Yeah well what do you want us to do with the driver?
Uhhh not my chair not my problem that’s what I say! Take him into town buy him a beer, leave him right phuckin here I really don’t give a PHUCK! K VeXXy PAY THE BOYZ! And actually pay them this time they did a STAND UP JOB!
You know you used to be FUN MR. J!
Ohhhh VEXXY the FUN MY DEAR IS JUST BEGINNING! K give us a smooch! Who’s My FaVoRiTe LiL NaUGHTy GiRL?
Me!!!
There’z a GooD GIRL! OK…Let’s get down with the funky shit! See you all on the other side!
…LiL BiTTy BiT LaTeR!!!
Scene opens at the TD GARDENS arena in Boston Mass where AND JUSTICE FOR BRAWL IS SET TO GO LIVE in a mere matter of hours. We see a large 18 wheeler truck pull into the back loading docks and for the first time we see a large logo on the truck that reads KUNA FOODSERVICE on the side. The truck pulls in and smashes into the back of the loading dock as it slightly pulls forward once the loud crunching sound echoes throughout the dock. The driver side door opens and out hops JUSTIN DORK (but shhh its actually Je$TyR SeRyoU$ in DiSGuI$E…member?) He stops and looks in the mirror and fixes his fake mustache as he walks up and shakes hands with the arena manager.
After briefly apologizing about the mess he made with the inadvertent crash the two men shake hands and Mr. Dork walks to the back of the truck and flips the latch opening the back where all the food to be sold at the concession stands this fine evening is ready to be heated up and served to the hungry EPW patrons. The dock loaders come with their dollys and forklifts and begin this massive unloading. Justin Dork does his best to contain his excitement and if anyone bothered to look closely they may be able to tell something was amiss with this here situation, but for all they knew he was just a weirdo truck driver with a chipmunk for a mustahce and probably a fettish for kiddie porn (sounds like another Justin we know huh?)
Point is though the food was unloaded off the truck and taken to the almost countless concession stands strategically placed all throughout the arena and with the show going live in just a few short hours it was well beyond too late to stop this truly diabolical plan from being set in motion. ANd what is this plan you may wonder?...Well don’t you worry CHILDREN cause Mr. J is finna layyyyy it all out fa ya!
!!!!!!THi$ i$ GuNNa Be FUN!!!!!
Well FOR US ANYAY!!! HA HA HA!!!!
….ANOTHER LIL BIT LATER
…A FeW MiLeZ FROM the TD ARENA we see Je$TyR SeRyOu$ removing his fake mustache as his face is once again painted to absolute perfection. A wicked grin covering his face from one ear to the other as his plan is nearing the moment of perfection, and he tosses it behind him where suddenly what was out of focus is now in focus and what we find ourselves glaring at is the KUNA 18 wheeler set a blaze. Je$TyR SeRyOuS is well away from the fire at this point as he takes a seat on a near by stump and holds his IPHONE up so we can see his face only his face. ANd as he lights himself up a cigarette and taked that first soothing drag he seemingly collects his thoughts and then begins doing that thing he does…
Britt Baylor and Alexandra Callaway if you are watching this that means we are ohh I dunno an hour and some change into the PPV already! But I wanted to take a few moments to talk just the three of us because well while I have been known to shoot my mouth off from time to time I need you two dumb twats to scrape the semen from your ears and
!!!!!LiSSeN THE F Up!!!!
CAUSE THIS TIME I’M NOT JUST BLOWING SMOKE!!!
TIME is of the essence ladies and you are going to think and act carefully if you two are going to avoid the type of
!!!!!F’N CALAMITY!!!!!
THERE JUST AINT NO COMIN BACK FROM!!!
Now ALLY…we will get to your simple stupid ass in just a tick! Right now Britt has a SeRyOu$ F’N PROBLEM on her hands and this once I don’t mean just me ya see! Britt…
!!!!! HIIIIIIIII !!!!!!
…LeMMe SHOW YA SUM REAL QUICK!!!
Scene then shows Je$TyR lower his camera reach into his pocket and removes a little baggy filled with a white crystal like powder. For you dopes that don’t know he is holding a bag of drugs…What kind?...Well shut the fuck up he’s finna tell ya!
You see this Britt? I know you know what it is, because judging by the laundry list of people you’ve let inside you just over the last two years it goes without saying you’ve put more of this up your nose than anyone cares to measure! Only this isn’t any of the baby laxatives you be snorting. You see it’s a special conoxition of my own design…err kinda…OK I’m friends with some CHEMIST…whatever! THe point is this stuff can only be found in New Orleanz…I CALLZ IT!!!
~!$!~ MoLLyWHoP ~!$!~
…CAUSE BELIEVE ME SISTER IT IS A VERY GOOD TIME!!!
Unless of course you take too much of it and then well things can go south pretty quickly! Don’t worry Im not trying to sell it to you because you are a cunt! The reason I bring it up is because I need you to know that I hijacked the KUNA foodservice truck you see burning in the background and I had a few friends unload the food that was supposed to be delivered to the arena with food that I had specially made just for this special occasion! Now like I said normally this lil substance here is meant for a good no GREAT TIME! But well suffice to say I put enough of it in one of those containers of food to kill a got damn
!!!!RHINO!!!!
HAHAHAHA NO SeRyOu$Ly I REALLY DID!!!
ANd the bitch of it is there is no tellin which food product I put it in see? It could be in the hot dogs, the buns, the nacho cheese, the pretzels…IT COULD BE IN ANY OF THEM! And there are only three people that know which box it is! Now at this point you have two choices BITCHFACE! You can either not sell concession stands and have fun explaining that shit to the press, because sure you can maybe blame me…But well
?WHO DO I WORK FOR?HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!
So if I go down for this GuESS WHO’S CoMiN TOOO!!!! So yeah not the best option right?...Fortunatley there is a second! You see you have meddled in my affairs for far too long and with this match being a title match and you insisting on being at ringside I just can’t take the chance of you getting in my way again so here is whats gunna happen CUNT! You are not going to be handcuffed to the your sister…NO MAM! YOU are going to handcuff yourself to the
!!!!!F’N RING POST!!!!!
…AND NO I DON’T CARE WHICH ONE!!!
Mainly because I want you to have a front row seat to watch me STOP YOUR F’N PRINCESS BACK INTO A GOT DAMN
!!!!!PaUPeR!!!!!
AND SO I CAN LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AND LAUGH WHEN ITS ALL OVER!!!
And the moment you handcuff yourself to sed ring post your sister will then call one of her loyal people from when she was helping you “RUN THINGS’ a while back and they will dispose of the ill gotten goods that threaten the PR NIGHTMARE OF A LIFETIME! Refuse this BRITT and you run the risk of having one or several people die a terrible death live on PPV and then you will be on TV for the next few months and then probably in a jail cell where you will have to resort to being GAY FOR THE STAY to keep yourself safe from the numerous people that will want to rip your head off and shit down your neck because really you aren’t the most likeable person we know
?ARE YA?NO…NO YOU’RE NOT!!!
So get your head out of your ass…and think…THINK ABOUT
!!!!!THE CHILDREN!!!!
FOR FUX SAKES!!!!
Because well this is a real problem with real consequences, and you really have no control despite the illusion of it…and speaking of ILLUSIONS…HEY
!!!!!ALLY CALLY!!!!!
HoWZ THAT COMEBACK TOUR GOING SO FAR HUH?
Yeah I didn’t think so! After CAP handed you your ass and dropped what will soon be my FIGHT4 TITLE at your feet you got a whiff of how differently things are here now didnja? Sure she rolled the red carpet out for you making you think it was a one way ticket for the queen to return to her throne, ohh but honey
!!!!SHE F’N LiED TO YOU!!!!!
YOU’RE NO QUEEN YOU ARE A F’N PAWN!!!
And come Monday MORNING I will wipe you from the board entirely! Because what this is really about I am sick and phucking tired of Britt handing out EPW Championships to washed up shit kickers like you like they are her lil
~$~ PARTICIPATION TROPHIE$ ~$~
YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT A SHIT KICKIN!!!
So your quest to return and to reclaim the FIGHT4 CHAMPIONSHIP will end the exact same way it began this go round with a got damn
!!!!!BEATDOWN!!!!
AND IF YOU THOUGHT THE ONE CAP GAVE YA WAS BAD!!!
MaMa YOU AINT SEEN SHIT YET!!! My methods may be a bit on the extreme side, but I get results and the results I am after is to save this company from DISEASES LIKE YOU! THat think they can just walk in here and claim whatever spot because their name used to mean somethin. But the name Alexandra Callaway will fade back into the nothingness from wence it came after this PPV, after I climb in that ring and give you what you really deserve. Because we didn’t miss you and we never needed you! The only real contribution you can make to EPW at this point love is to climb in the ring and take what you got coming, because the EPW you left aint the same one you came back to! NOW CHAOS RUNS THE SHOW and your only option at this point is to
!!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!!SoMe!!!!
!!!!!!!UP!!!!!!
TICK TOCK LADIES TIME IS RUNNIN OUT
…ohh yeah and I almost forgot
HA HA
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??