Post by The Dynasty on Oct 28, 2024 23:49:04 GMT -5
From a dark screen, an audible sound is heard as if someone is picking up a phone and then placing the call on speakerphone. After nothing follows, the sound heard next is that of a dial tone but again, nothing follows but silence and that’s when Blake got the idea. A click from the switch is heard from a lamp on the nightstand inside the hotel room. The lamp turns on as the live camera cuts to a handheld camera in Blake’s hand. He fumbles around and a glimpse of Belladonna Anderson can be seen but he shows the phone still on speakerphone and then focuses on himself.
[B. Anderson] Looking into the camera, “Wait a minute..” he looks at the phone. “Help_Desk, is that you? Are you trying to communicate? Do I need a Quija board? Wait, or do I need a computer”? He quickly hangs up the phone and hands Belladonna the camera. “Hold on, I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere”. He reaches over and takes out his laptop from his suitcase and sits it on the metal folding chair near him. Bella points the camera at the laptop. “Okay, maybe he’ll communicate this way”. As the laptop powers on and signs onto the desktop, Blake hits a button and a window pops up. “Maybe you’ll talk to me this way Help_Desk”. The icon for the Help_Desk assistant appears and an automated message reads “Welcome, Help_Desk is here to assist you. How can Help_Desk assist you”? Sitting back in his chair, he sighs and then pauses. “Now that’s weird, I’m facing Help_Desk and now I get asked how to assist me? Is Help_Desk even a real person?” He takes out his phone and looks up Help_Desk on Google and finds, “a person that provides assistance and information. Well that’s great, you’re not great at providing assistance and you provide useless information maybe. (He turns to the camera). Let’s see if I dive deeper into what I can find out about you”.
It says here (he went to the EPW.com site although the camera doesn’t show) on the EPW website (dammit that gave it away) Agent One…Help Desk Agent 01 not much information found. Well that tells a lot and explains a lot too. (Looking at the camera) Well, I guess there’s not much to tell since he wants to be kept a secret. That’s alright because soon the secret will be out and I’ll expose you for who you are. You want to be a mystery? The only mystery will be which will I do? Do I hit ctrl+alt+del or do I unplug your life support…I mean supply and see what agent they send next to take your place?
Speaking of life support, I have someone who wanted to say a few words. No it’s not Paul Sinclair although he can talk but no it’s from someone who hasn't been heard or seen in a while. (Motions for someone to come to him. Into camera view walks his wife Belladonna Anderson. The two share a kiss before Belladonna sits down next to Blake and looks at the camera before starting to talk).
Belladonna: Help Desk huh? How fucking original. Well, can't wait to see my sexy bad ass man here.
She pointed to Blake and continued to say.
Belladonna: This bad ass man of mine give you a hellish makeover. You have been annoying and it's time for you to go to sleep. Go back to playing video games at your small cubicle and leave the real wrestling to real people like me and my husband here, am I right my sexy love?
[B. Anderson] “Baby, hold on now. He’s got a cubicle? Like really an office in the corner or maybe like in the middle (he motions with his hands describing a middle location) and not like Geek Squad with that mobile child kidnap service. I mean and they got that van they pull up in and overcharge for something simple although now it could be a Prius because of gas prices. Now Paul, you probably know better than me but has anyone seen this guy? If he’s this tech guy they call Help_Desk, that’s usually the guy I call and end up getting some guy in a foreign country telling me how to fix an American product”.
[Sinclair] “All I can say is that guy calls himself an agent. Not like James Bond agent or Agent Smith in The Matrix”.
[B. Anderson] “So you’re saying I should be like Neo”?
[Sinclair] (Laughing) “No, those are fictional but this guy really wants to be a ghost really because I don’t think anybody knows anything about him”.
[B. Anderson] “So we’re going to play pretend then? I’m going to take him into my office and evaluate his progress to determine if he gets a promotion. Yeah, we’re going to step into that ring and see what you have and if you win, then yeah, you get to brag how you beat me. I’ve faced guys bigger than you, smaller than you, dumber than you and smarter than you. So if you think you’re going to hack your way to a win, you’re going to need to call on more than just your other agents to help scrape your hard drive and whatever bytes off the mat.
What you should do is do a search and realize who you’re up against. What you read is just the stuff they could put without having to be shut down because the things I’m capable of is the stuff I’ve written that are blueprints for guys who want to do…”
[Sinclair] “Wait, Blake, no, you can’t say that. You’re going to purger yourself if you keep going”.
[B. Anderson] “Purge? (A smile comes across his face). In time for Halloween, it can probably be done”.
[Sinclair] “Dammit Blake, that’s not what I mean but his blood will be on your hands”.
[B. Anderson] “Yes it will, yes it will”.
[Sinclair] “Something tells me you have something planned”.
[B. Anderson] “Now why would you think that? Just because it’s a weapons match and then turn around the next night and do a Halloween Havok house show. Speaking of, did you realize that the weapons match was all IT related right? Paul, I tell you what, do me a favor and go get some things. Not from the prop guy because we use real glass. (Looking at the camera) If you don’t get that reference then you don’t watch wrestling. (Looking back at Paul) So I’m going to need you to go get some things. Let’s see, IT related stuff so I’m thinking we put broken keyboard keys in a bag like you would thumbtacks. How about a large window pane with computer parts somehow taped or glued to it”.
[Sinclair] “It’s not a typical weapons match although technically you can use a trash can too. Me and Bella will go get some stuff and while we’re at it, are we doing anything special for Halloween Havok”?
[B. Anderson] “It’s a Last Ride match and the last time I watched one of these, I had some ideas that would make it better. For this one though, I mean it’s Ace Sky. We’ve never faced each other so why we would be in a Last Ride match doesn’t make sense but anyway. He reminds me of my friend Matt so much that I caught myself earlier looking up on YouTube some of his stuff and he does so much of Matt’s stuff. I know they say imitation is the biggest form of flattery but for you to be ripping off his stuff, I’m going to break your fucking face.
I’m going to make sure this Last Ride match is your last ride because I’m going to bury you and put you on the shelf. If you want to be like my friend so much then I’ll break your fucking ankle and shatter it so you miss half your damn career and you wonder how you’re going to get back in the ring. Then you can pop pills like candy and find your higher power because you’re so fucked up on pills that you create this gimmick that is so high that you don’t feel anything. But yeah go ahead and rip off his gimmick and don’t be original so it tells me exactly how I’m going to beat you because all you know is what you see on TV.
Look, I’m spending my time talking about Halloween Havok when my focus is on Danger so I’ll just talk about both of you right now. Help_Desk or Agent or whatever the hell you want to be called, one night before I take Ace out on his last ride. See, I watched a show last night about this guy who got sent to jail because this guy did something horrible to this man’s daughter and what he did, he took this guy’s life because what he did was illegal. But legal, Ace, this is.
You know something, Ace, how about you watch what I do to this agent who wants to claim he’s a technical guy but probably doesn’t even know any technical moves. That’s probably why this match was made a weapons match because face it, everybody who’s ever faced me in the past few months have always needed something to help beat me. If it’s not being outnumbered then it’s someone having to use an object to try and take me out and keep me down. Well, Agent, you’re going to have to use all the weapons you can find to do your best to keep me down because you’re going to find out like everyone else that I’m not someone you want to piss off. You do have sick days coming to you right? Because you’re about to be on the shelf for quite a while. I can give you the number to the people I’ve put on the shelf if you’d like.
But first things first, we’re going international! I mean look, we’re in Canada the home of people who actually love the art of professional wrestling and people who understand the skills it takes inside the ring to put on a show in front of a live crowd and then adding a live broadcast, that’s always fun to see but you know what else is going to be fun? Tonight when we show that besides technical wrestling there’s also technology wrestling. Yes, wrestling with electronics and no I’m not talking about getting pissed at the remote and throwing it at the wall. I’m talking about beating the hell out of someone with a keyboard or a computer monitor or just whatever is in that trash can that can sometimes feel like a bottomless pit of goodies.
[B. Anderson] Looking into the camera, “Wait a minute..” he looks at the phone. “Help_Desk, is that you? Are you trying to communicate? Do I need a Quija board? Wait, or do I need a computer”? He quickly hangs up the phone and hands Belladonna the camera. “Hold on, I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere”. He reaches over and takes out his laptop from his suitcase and sits it on the metal folding chair near him. Bella points the camera at the laptop. “Okay, maybe he’ll communicate this way”. As the laptop powers on and signs onto the desktop, Blake hits a button and a window pops up. “Maybe you’ll talk to me this way Help_Desk”. The icon for the Help_Desk assistant appears and an automated message reads “Welcome, Help_Desk is here to assist you. How can Help_Desk assist you”? Sitting back in his chair, he sighs and then pauses. “Now that’s weird, I’m facing Help_Desk and now I get asked how to assist me? Is Help_Desk even a real person?” He takes out his phone and looks up Help_Desk on Google and finds, “a person that provides assistance and information. Well that’s great, you’re not great at providing assistance and you provide useless information maybe. (He turns to the camera). Let’s see if I dive deeper into what I can find out about you”.
It says here (he went to the EPW.com site although the camera doesn’t show) on the EPW website (dammit that gave it away) Agent One…Help Desk Agent 01 not much information found. Well that tells a lot and explains a lot too. (Looking at the camera) Well, I guess there’s not much to tell since he wants to be kept a secret. That’s alright because soon the secret will be out and I’ll expose you for who you are. You want to be a mystery? The only mystery will be which will I do? Do I hit ctrl+alt+del or do I unplug your life support…I mean supply and see what agent they send next to take your place?
Speaking of life support, I have someone who wanted to say a few words. No it’s not Paul Sinclair although he can talk but no it’s from someone who hasn't been heard or seen in a while. (Motions for someone to come to him. Into camera view walks his wife Belladonna Anderson. The two share a kiss before Belladonna sits down next to Blake and looks at the camera before starting to talk).
Belladonna: Help Desk huh? How fucking original. Well, can't wait to see my sexy bad ass man here.
She pointed to Blake and continued to say.
Belladonna: This bad ass man of mine give you a hellish makeover. You have been annoying and it's time for you to go to sleep. Go back to playing video games at your small cubicle and leave the real wrestling to real people like me and my husband here, am I right my sexy love?
[B. Anderson] “Baby, hold on now. He’s got a cubicle? Like really an office in the corner or maybe like in the middle (he motions with his hands describing a middle location) and not like Geek Squad with that mobile child kidnap service. I mean and they got that van they pull up in and overcharge for something simple although now it could be a Prius because of gas prices. Now Paul, you probably know better than me but has anyone seen this guy? If he’s this tech guy they call Help_Desk, that’s usually the guy I call and end up getting some guy in a foreign country telling me how to fix an American product”.
[Sinclair] “All I can say is that guy calls himself an agent. Not like James Bond agent or Agent Smith in The Matrix”.
[B. Anderson] “So you’re saying I should be like Neo”?
[Sinclair] (Laughing) “No, those are fictional but this guy really wants to be a ghost really because I don’t think anybody knows anything about him”.
[B. Anderson] “So we’re going to play pretend then? I’m going to take him into my office and evaluate his progress to determine if he gets a promotion. Yeah, we’re going to step into that ring and see what you have and if you win, then yeah, you get to brag how you beat me. I’ve faced guys bigger than you, smaller than you, dumber than you and smarter than you. So if you think you’re going to hack your way to a win, you’re going to need to call on more than just your other agents to help scrape your hard drive and whatever bytes off the mat.
What you should do is do a search and realize who you’re up against. What you read is just the stuff they could put without having to be shut down because the things I’m capable of is the stuff I’ve written that are blueprints for guys who want to do…”
[Sinclair] “Wait, Blake, no, you can’t say that. You’re going to purger yourself if you keep going”.
[B. Anderson] “Purge? (A smile comes across his face). In time for Halloween, it can probably be done”.
[Sinclair] “Dammit Blake, that’s not what I mean but his blood will be on your hands”.
[B. Anderson] “Yes it will, yes it will”.
[Sinclair] “Something tells me you have something planned”.
[B. Anderson] “Now why would you think that? Just because it’s a weapons match and then turn around the next night and do a Halloween Havok house show. Speaking of, did you realize that the weapons match was all IT related right? Paul, I tell you what, do me a favor and go get some things. Not from the prop guy because we use real glass. (Looking at the camera) If you don’t get that reference then you don’t watch wrestling. (Looking back at Paul) So I’m going to need you to go get some things. Let’s see, IT related stuff so I’m thinking we put broken keyboard keys in a bag like you would thumbtacks. How about a large window pane with computer parts somehow taped or glued to it”.
[Sinclair] “It’s not a typical weapons match although technically you can use a trash can too. Me and Bella will go get some stuff and while we’re at it, are we doing anything special for Halloween Havok”?
[B. Anderson] “It’s a Last Ride match and the last time I watched one of these, I had some ideas that would make it better. For this one though, I mean it’s Ace Sky. We’ve never faced each other so why we would be in a Last Ride match doesn’t make sense but anyway. He reminds me of my friend Matt so much that I caught myself earlier looking up on YouTube some of his stuff and he does so much of Matt’s stuff. I know they say imitation is the biggest form of flattery but for you to be ripping off his stuff, I’m going to break your fucking face.
I’m going to make sure this Last Ride match is your last ride because I’m going to bury you and put you on the shelf. If you want to be like my friend so much then I’ll break your fucking ankle and shatter it so you miss half your damn career and you wonder how you’re going to get back in the ring. Then you can pop pills like candy and find your higher power because you’re so fucked up on pills that you create this gimmick that is so high that you don’t feel anything. But yeah go ahead and rip off his gimmick and don’t be original so it tells me exactly how I’m going to beat you because all you know is what you see on TV.
Look, I’m spending my time talking about Halloween Havok when my focus is on Danger so I’ll just talk about both of you right now. Help_Desk or Agent or whatever the hell you want to be called, one night before I take Ace out on his last ride. See, I watched a show last night about this guy who got sent to jail because this guy did something horrible to this man’s daughter and what he did, he took this guy’s life because what he did was illegal. But legal, Ace, this is.
You know something, Ace, how about you watch what I do to this agent who wants to claim he’s a technical guy but probably doesn’t even know any technical moves. That’s probably why this match was made a weapons match because face it, everybody who’s ever faced me in the past few months have always needed something to help beat me. If it’s not being outnumbered then it’s someone having to use an object to try and take me out and keep me down. Well, Agent, you’re going to have to use all the weapons you can find to do your best to keep me down because you’re going to find out like everyone else that I’m not someone you want to piss off. You do have sick days coming to you right? Because you’re about to be on the shelf for quite a while. I can give you the number to the people I’ve put on the shelf if you’d like.
But first things first, we’re going international! I mean look, we’re in Canada the home of people who actually love the art of professional wrestling and people who understand the skills it takes inside the ring to put on a show in front of a live crowd and then adding a live broadcast, that’s always fun to see but you know what else is going to be fun? Tonight when we show that besides technical wrestling there’s also technology wrestling. Yes, wrestling with electronics and no I’m not talking about getting pissed at the remote and throwing it at the wall. I’m talking about beating the hell out of someone with a keyboard or a computer monitor or just whatever is in that trash can that can sometimes feel like a bottomless pit of goodies.
