Post by jestyrseryous on Oct 29, 2024 22:38:44 GMT -5
Now before I start talking, let me be clear I’m not talking to most of you! Mainly because the closest most of you get to accomplishing actual greatness is by watching a theatrical recreation of someone else accomplishing it decades if not centuries after they are already dead, so you won’t have the faintest idea of what
!!!!!THE F I’M TALKIN ABOUT!!!!
…BUT IT’S OK YOU CAN WATCH, AS USUAL!!!
Because that is what we are doin here isn’t it? That’s what the subject is or at least should always be about. Greatness! No not the word these MORONIC CHILDREN throw around on their instagramz to describe the 3rd best sandwich they ever got from SUBWAY that they think everyone wants to see a picture of. No I’m talking about the actual meaning of
!!!!!THE F'N WORD!!!!!
NOW PAY ATTENTION CLYDE CAUSE YOU ARE JUST AS CLUELESS AS THE INSTAGRAMMERZ!!!
Now having said that, if I can divert everyones attention back to the point, because before we can discuss actual greatness and how to achieve it first we must discuss that critical moment in which you knew you were destined for it or were at the very least aware of just how well within your grasp it was. Because the difference between a moment of this much importance isn’t the wet fart of an idea that passes through most of your empty skulls on a day to day basis, no this is some REAL LIFE DEFINING SHIT! Like the moment you realize your phucking purpose, its almost as if the jungle one normally has to get through on the perilous road to the top is suddenly cleared and paved all the way. You know where you have to go and most importantly
!!!!!WHAT YOU HAVE 2 DO!!!!!!
IN ORDER TO GET THERE!!!!
…And as it just so happens I have finally experienced not just one but two moments like this that shall lead me straight to greatness for not just myself but all of ELEVATE PRO WRESTLING, and believe this shit or not it’s kinda all thanks to
?BRITT BAYLOR!!!!!!…I KNOW RiDDLE ME THAT SHIT!!!!
But I just chalk it up to life being a crazy train, and well she didn’t do it on purpose, because as always she is just being the self serving dumb cunt she was apparently born to be. BUt as always she just wound up doing me a phucking favor…Giving me an opportunity to rub her nose in how bad she is at her job once more. One that I intend to take full advantage of. Set up the hurdles I’ll jump them, hire the goons…
!!!!I’LL F’N BASH THEM!!!!
…LAUGHING ALL THE F’N WHILE!!!!
You and whoever can’t stop me Britt because THE TRUTH…the truth always surfaces no matter how long or hard the struggle is from time to time, and you Clyde and the JY’s Davenport’s can paint me the villain of this story all you want, but at the end of the day I always have been
!!!!!THE F’N T.R.U.T.H.!!!!!
..AND THERE IS A F’N REASON THEY SAY THAT SHIT HURTZ!!!!
But as always I don’t expect you just to take my phuckin word for it,
!!!!!!HA F’N HA!!!!!!
MY NAME ISN’T CLYDE NETWON HAHAHA!!!!
…So yeah anyway where was I? OHH yeah path to greatness and what not right?...RIGHT!! If I was going to take this step then I know what I needed to do in order to see this thing through and although it was going to slightly pain me to do it…It doesn’t really change the fact that I have to or that I was even thinking of not doing it to begin with…And well that’s how I phuckin wound up here!
Scene opens as Je$TyR SeRyOu$ strolls up the stairs to his private office on the top floor of OUTLAWZ. He comes to the large double doors and goes to raise his hands to knock but thinks better of it, it’s his office after all, right? But as his gloved hand goes to turn the knob to open the door he catches himself. A tiny smirk creeps across his face as he stands up straight and presses his ear to the door for a moment.
The loud unmistakeable sound of SeXuAL HeaLiNG can be heard coming from the otherside of the door. Je$TyR leans back and sinks his head. He chuckles to himselfas he reaches out towards the door knob once more as he twists it open.
Once the door is open he steps into his dim light office and finds none other than his recent partner in crime Joli VeXX sitting in his large comfy chair behind his massive black desk. Joli’s chair is facing off completely to the right facing the wall that has five different flatscreen televisions hanging and one giant one in the middle. All six screens are showing the same thing and as Je$TyR quietly creeps in he notices it is the newly posted scene featuring one of his favorite BRAZZER girls Olivia Austin.
He doesn’t really know why but Joli and Olivia had developed a close friendship, and Je$TyR suspected it was a bit more than that, and as he quietly creeps in he sees perhaps his suspicions (as usual) were correct. THe scene switches then to his point of view as he quietly walks in as VeXX wouldn’t have noticed if Zeus, ODIN, and everyone else on Mt. Olympus, Heaven, or wherever they come from walked in.
SHe was twirling her black and purple hair with her left hand while her other hand was slowly beginning to make its way down south, but just as her finger tips touch the brim of her very tight jean shorts Je$TyR does what he does best…
!!!!!RuDeLy INTeRuPTZ!!!!
…Ju$T LiKe THi$ HeRe!!!
HEHE
Joli DAMN near jumps out of her knickerz as startled wasn’t even the word. After the brief look of shock and awe passes, she turns towards the clown with a look of angry shame that only comes after being caught trying to key in the combination to ones own safe. So naturally she’s a bit flustered, maybe even a little pissed, which of course the CLOWN found humorous to say the very least, which of course probably only made her angrier, but LiTTLe DiD SHe KNoW (angry was only the TIP of the ICE BERG in this lil sitch-e-ashion here HAHA).
SO she shoots up and straightens herself out, the best she can anyway, and of course with her little firecracker self retorts!
Muh…Muh…MISTER J!?!? WHAT THE FUCK?
I was actually finna ask you the same thing PuNKiN, but CLEARLY!!!
Well then why the hell did you stop me? Coulda been a really good time, especially now that you’re here!
Well for starters CRAZY it’s three in the PHUCKIN AFTERNOON!!!
Really?...AGAIN?
YES REALLY AGAIN YA SILLY ASS! It’s kinda how time works, which you would know if you weren’t up here every moment of the day that we aren’t on the road WATCHIN PORN!!!
Well you were sooooo set on staying downstairs BEING DUMB!
WHAT? I was not being DUMB my little pet, I was PREPARING THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Preparing for what? Clyde Newton? FUCK CLYDE NEWTON in his STUPID IDIOT FUCK HOLE…I mean his face!
Eloquently put as always PuMPKiN, but this also happens to be my first main event here in Elevate Pro Wrestling, and I needed to get into the proper mindset, because well suffice to say this is hardly Clyde’s first main event, but I’ve done more for EPW leading up to this particular main event then that PHUCK KNUCKLE has done for this company with all his MAIN EVENTS
!!!!F’N COMBINED!!!!
…AND THIS DEAR IS PRECISELY WHAT WE HAVE BEEN WORKING TOWARDZ!!!
After what feels like FOR F’N EVER your halfwit, knob gobbler of a sister has finally given me PRECISELY WHAT I WANT, but also precisely what WE NEED to really drive the point home and well if I get to nail another nail in the coffin of Clyde Newton’s legacy in the process well first of all
!!!!YAY!!!!!
…AND IT JUST PROVES HOW SHORT SIGHTED YOUR SISTER REALLY IS!!!!
…YOU WITH ME? Or are you still trying to figure out how to squeeze them lil digits of yours into those even little shorts you got on?
Why can’t it be both?
(sighs) FAIR ENOUGH! But OK VeXX, listen to me carefully, I actually came up here to talk to you about something very important, but first I need to ask you somethin!
Ohh if it’s about last night, no it wasn’t weird at all, I was kinda hoping you could do it to me again like righ…
NO NOT THAT! JEEBUS You’re a f’n PERV! NO…I need to ask…
???Do YoU TRu$T ME???
…CaU$e iF YoU DO…WeLL
*CLICK….CLICK*
While the two were bantering back and fourth Je$tyR managed to make his way behind Joli. He used one hand to wrap around her seemingly to embrace or even hold her, while he used his free hand to dig out not one but two pairs of handcuffs. He of course waited for Joli to place her arm on the arm of the chair before slapping the first pair of cuffs on and tightening them almost to the point of painful, before spinning her around and slapping the other pair on her other hand. She foolishly tries to jerk her hands free as she looks up at him with a look of sheer confusion as he looks at her bluntly to finish his sentence…
CaU$e iF YoU DO…THAT WaS YoUR FiRST MiStaKe LuV!!!
Mr. J…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN? LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?...IS THIS ABOUT WHAT MY STUPID SISTER SAID ABOUT YOUR MATCH?...ABOUT HOW I CAN’T GET INVOVLED? FUCK HER AND ALL OF HER STUPID RULES AND STIPULATIONS!!! SHE CAN’T STOP US! MR. J DON’T FUCKIN DO THIS!!!
Settle YOUR LITTLE SELF DOWN FOR A MOMENT LITTLE BIRD! I don’t WANT to do this persay, but well I kinda just gotta, nah mean?
NO! I DON’T NAH WHAT YOU MEAN ASSHOLE UNCCUFF ME RIGHT NOW!!!
VEXX…LOOK AT ME! EITHER YOU PiPe THE PHUCK DOWN, OR ILL PiPE YOU DOWN MYSELF!
Don’t threaten me with a good time!
OHHH FOR PHUCK SAKE…JUST LISTEN TO ME!...Tell me somethin VeXX do you recall when I first arrived on the scene in what is now EPW? It was over PHUCKIN RUN with one of the biggest flocks of undeserving, self righteous, entitled, greasy twats I have ever seen in this business. IN fact it wasn’t just OCW it was all of PRO WRESTLING. It is one of the reasons I came back to begin with! I saw the potential EPW had, a company that featured OUTCASTS such as myself looking to rebrand, make a new name and a new start for everyone who was sick of the ceaseless politicking, grab assing, and nut dangling that swept over this business like a got damn
!!!!!NuCLeaR HoLoCaU$T!!!!!
THAT IF LEFT UNCHECKED WOULD HAVE CONSUMED IT ALL!!!
SO I allowed your sister to sign me up, knowing that I could do the most good in a place like that. I know me doing GOOD..HA…But still I am what I am and I do what I do. And just as I was ready to get to work…THIS FUCKIN SHIT HAPPENED!!!
Je$TyR reaches over onto the desk where the remote was and turns off Joli’s porn. He then pulls up what he had been watching downstairs and well what he had been watching for almost a week straight now…Should look familiar to you numb skulls because sadly it wasn’t long enough ago to completely forget…
EPW PROUDLY PRESENTS
ASHES2ASHES
EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
CLYDE NEWTON vs JUSTIN YORK
(EW…BARF)
Clyde shakes his head, and drops into the cover.
The referee slides into position, his hand striking the mat for the first count. One...
The crowd watches in stunned silence as the referee's hand hovers just inches above the canvas, poised to make the final count. Two...
With every passing second, the tension in the arena mounts, the outcome of the match hanging in the balance. Three!
Stone: NEW CHAMP! We've got a new World Heavyweight Champion and his name is CLYDE FUCKING NEWTON!
The bell rings, signaling the end of the match and the victory for Clyde. The crowd erupts into a cacophony of cheers and applause as Clyde's hand is raised in triumph, his victory hard-fought and well-deserved. Meanwhile, York lies motionless in the center of the ring, his valiant effort coming up just short in the face of overwhelming odds. The cage raises as Clyde is given the belt, his arm raised, even though he can barely stand.
LEE MASTERS: YOUR WINNER............AND NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OCW/EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION........CLYDE NEW-TON!
(AND AGAIN BARF!!!)
GROSS, I almost forgot that happened Mr. J, why did you show me that!
BECAUSE WE NEED TO REMEMBER IT VEXX! AND NOT EVEN BECAUSE IT WAS
!!!!IMPORTANT!!!!!
BECAUSE IN THE GRAND SCHEME IT REALLY…REALLY F’N WASN’T!!!
But it was in that moment, that precise one where I realized WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE and HOW I NEEDED TO DO IT! I had to save EPW from itself because with a disease like CLYDE NEWTON stearing the ship it was only a matter of time before the TITANIC BECAME THE 2nd BIGGEST SHIPWRECK OF ALL F’N TIME! It’s always darkest before the dawn, and let me tell ya somethin else VEXXY…Yes
!!!!!F.U.C.K.!!!!!
YOUR STUPID SISTER AND EVERYONE OF HER RULEZ!!!
SO far we have torn all of them down, and we will continue to do just that, because that is the MISSION…THAT IS THE END GAME…THAT IS HOW WE ACHIEVE GREATNESS! By saving what isn’t even really her company from diseases like
!!!!!CLYDE F’N NEWTON!!!!
WHO IS THE WORST OF THE WORST…CEPT FOR MAYBE JUSTIN YORK, BUT HE ISN’T FAR OFF!!!
Because the simple fact of the matter MY SWEET IS THAT THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS SOUND LIKE HATE TO THOSE WHO
!!!!HATE THE F’N TRUTH!!!!
AND YOU’D BE HARD F’N PRESSED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO HATES IT MORE THAN CLYDE NEWTON!!!
And the God’s HoNe$T TRUTH about Clyde Newton is that he isn’t nor was he phucking EVER EPW’s
!!!!!GuIDiNG LiGHT!!!!!
THERE ARE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS IN SOMEONE’S ATTIC RIGHT NOW THAT SHINE BRIGHTER THAN HIM!!
Yes as we clearly just watched he did for all intents and purposes claim the EPW CROWN and he was the CHAMPION for one of the worst cups of coffee ever poured in pro wrestling and EPW, because what did he do as CHAMPION to help ELEVATE PRO WRESTLING? THE EXACT SAME PHUCKIN THING HE HAS DONE IN PRO WRESTLING IN GENERAL
!!!!JACK F’N SHIT!!!!
THEN HE TRIED DROPPIN THE BELT TO BE IN SOME MOVIE THAT NEVER GOT MADE THANK GOD!!!
HE left with his tail between his legs like the bitch he is, was and always phucing will be…And then stood on the sidelines and watched EPW’s light continue to grow bigger and bigger despite his absence and he came crawling back under daddy’s wing and is desperately trying to make himself relevant again…HA, well
!!!!!PHUCK THAT SHIT!!!!!
NO F’N MaM, NOT ON OUR WATCH!!!!!!
Cause at the end of the day VeXy that is why just this once, we are going to abide by your sister’s rules. Why this time we are going to not just play her little game, but we are gunna fuggin
!!!!BeaT HeR @ IT!!!!
ALONG WITH HER HAND PICKED POCKET ROCKET!!!
Because neither of them give a rats ass about making this company what it could be, just like they have no business being in places of prominence that they are in…And it is in that moment where I watched Clyde Newton hoist the EPW Championship above his head that some small part of me KNEW…I MEAN ABSOLUTLEY
!!!!!F’N KNEW!!!!
THIS COMPANY WAS BROKEN AND SOONER OR LATER SOMEONE WITH ENUFF SACK WAS GUNNA HAVE TO STAND UP AND DEFEND IT!!!
AND that is precisely what we…OR I AM GOING TO DO ON DANGER MY PET! I’d love to have you at my side, but if and when I put that over hyped, self righteous, nut dangling GRUBBY POLITICIAN on his ass with no help from anyone they will see what I have been trying to show them ALL ALONG! Clyde doesn’t give a phuck about this company never has. He is here to show up, rest on a reputation and the moment the heat gets cranked up he will bolt out of the kitchen like his ass was on
!!!!F’N FiRE!!!!
..OR AT LEAST LIKE IT WOULD BE IF HE STUCK AROUND!!!
But now there is no escape, no more got damn running! He is now face to face with what the universe and I collectively refer to as
!!!!THE InEViTaIBLE!!!!!
AS HE IS NOW IN THE ONLY MATCH IN EPW ANYONE WANTS TO SEE HIM IN!!!
Cause like I said no one missed CLYDE NEWTON, but now that he is back and locked into a contest with YOURZ TRULY…EVERYONE…HIMSELF INCLUDED KNOWZ WHATS COMIN! A RECKONING, AN ASS WHOOPIN and sweet and SEXY
!!!!F’N Ju$TiCe!!!!
SERVED ON THE COLDEST DISH I CAN F’N FIND!!!!
For all his crimes against EPW and PRO WRESTLING IN GENERAL! Because not only is he the worst shit talker in the history of shit and talking, not only is he JMONTS purse puppy TFO or NOT, and not only is he a deluded, self righteous selfish ass who almost ran this company into the ground…CLYDE NEWTON is a
!!!!F’N SCHEMER!!!!
…AND I HAVE MADE IT MY MISSION TO RID EPW OF THOSE MOTHER PHUCKERZ!!!!
Like I said earlier I have done more for EPW on the undercard than he has done at the top of it, and when I use my foot to smush his stupid face into the canvas and then your sister and everyone with EYES SEES ME DO IT ALL BY MY LONELY they will know! THey will be forced to accept the truth twisting and turning in their guts from the moment I was ever handed a live mic here in EPW, and that is people like CLyde Newton and your sister just don’t PHUCKING BELONG! And sooner or later, one by phucking one, I will cast them aside and force them all to…well you know what I say in moments like this but it’s not quite that time yet! So please do me a favor just this ONCE and STAY F’N PUT
Because rest assured VeXXy when I stomp CLyde Newton out like he was one of my LUCKY STRIKES it will be the single greatest moment in EPW HISTORY SO FAR…SO F’N GOOD!!! And you just sit back and watch it happen…Don’t worry I’ve made sure the girls will look after you! Ill see you when I get back…Here I’ll even fix this for ya!
Je$TyR still with the remote in hand points it at the TV screens and turns the porn back on for VeXX, but this does next to nothing to assuage her anger, rage and perhaps sadness that she can’t be apart of this. Je$TyR walks over and gives her a simple kiss on the forehead and bends down looks her in her eyes and winks. He then stands up and walks towards the door. He opens it turns and takes one last look before shutting it behind him. He then leans against the door once it is closed and removes his pack of LUCKY’s from his jacket pocket and pops one in his mouth firing it up. HE takes a long drag and exhales the smoke through his nostrils. He looks dead into the camera and begins to speak.
Take a GOOD GOT DAMN LOOK CLYDE! Take a good look at my phuckin face
!!!!!B.U.S.T.E.R.!!!!!
CAUSE EVENTHOUGH I BEEN LAUGIN AT YOU FROM JUMP
I couldn’t possibly be more SeRyOuS WHEN I PHUCKIN TELL YA at Danger I am coming to take whatever legacy you have around this place and not only will I never ever under any circumstance ever give it back, but I will do my absolute
!!!!D.A.M.N.D.E.$.T.!!!!
TO RIP IT TO SHREDS IN FRONT OF YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE WATCHIN!!!
Not just because I don’t like you, but because you DESERVE NONE OF IT, cept unless you count the ass whoopin you get in this little proccess because make no mistake about it
!!!!BuCKO!!!!
THAT IS GOING TO BE THE ONE AND ONLY THING YOU HAVE EVER EARNED AROUND HERE BITCH!!!
I know what you are and I always have, and the one thing you pretend to be the most is the thing you aren’t in any capacity and that MOTHER PHUCKER IS
~!$!~ G.R.E.A.T. ~!$!~
SURE YOUVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITIES, BUT EVERY TIME IT CAME A KNOCKIN…
YOUR PUSS ASS was not there to answer. And you were unable to answer because your BITCH ASS was too busy trying to find a way to sneak out the door and still save face! ANd yet here you are again with a half of a CHAMPIONSHIP you didn’t earn or deserve, and you only have only because of who you are friends with. SO yeah act like that is low hanging fruit jackass, but it’s clear this particular apple didn’t fall very far from the tree, because the reason everyone claims you cling so hard to JMONTS nutsack that you could be considered an abnormal third testicle is because once again it’s the got damn
!!!!T.R.U.T.H.!!!!!
AS IS THE BEATING YOU ARE ABOUT TO TAKE!!!
Because I unlike you have contributed to this companies growth and prosperity week in and week out. Never handed a got damn thing save what I took when I wanted anyway! And the schmucks that conduct business like you I have ran out of this bitch one by one each with their tail between their legs like you have already done at least twice now. So if you need help packing your bags after taking this one, I’d say I’d help but that would be a lie because I won’t even give you time to collect your shit. Allz that is about to happen is you come face to face with a truth you have been rightfully running from since I became aware of your existence. So call this fate, call it destiny…SHIT for all I know I may be wrong about all this greatness jazz I been talking about this entire time. SO even if no one remembers the ass whoopin I am about to lay on you the one thing I can
!!!!!F’N PRoMi$e YA!!!!
…IS YOU WILL MOTHER FUCKER…FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!!!
Because at DANGER I correct the biggest mistake Britt Baylor ever phucking made when I take you where everyone can see ya, and I make your sorry ass
!!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!!SoMe!!!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!!!!
…AND THIS IS SOMETHING I MUST DO BY MYSELF FOR THE SAKE OF EPW AND FOR THE SAKE OF ACTUAL GREATNESS!!!
…Consider this your first official lesson BITCH…CLASS DI$MiSSED!!!
ANd with that Je$TyR SeRyOU$ stands up and puts his cigarette out on the camera lens and then heads off down his path of destiny wherever that may take him…SO at this point guess we will see you TWATZ @ DANGER, but please on your way there don’t forget that this time like all them uddahz..
…HaS BeeN YoUR PLea$uRE!!!!
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??