Post by helpdesk on Oct 30, 2024 10:39:26 GMT -5
Hello! This is a prerecorded message from The Internal Relations Deparrment!
Halloween is a special time of the year for many people. For some, this is a holiday of fear. For others, a day of celebration. But one of the most central traditions of All Hallow's Eve is without a doubt the practice of “trick or treating”.
This is a unique moment in which it allows an individual to fully embrace the persona of another, a living caricature of impersonation. Who do you want to be, kid? For one day a year, you get to be them. You can dress like them, talk like them, act like them, and be treated like them.
Halloween is a day of dishonesty without consequence. While you may pretend to be somebody else, you are still you. Even your impersonation will have elements of your own persona. More than likely, you've even informed your acquaintances of your choice of costume, and they all knee what and who to look for.
You didn't mislead anybody into believing you were somebody you aren't. Most of the time, that gets you into trouble. If you try to be somebody you're not, the world will see right through it. Brooke Hernandez, I hope I'm not speaking out of line when I speak to you clearly, outside of my role as an Internal Relations Agent and just as one human being to another.
Is the Brooke Hernandez I will meet in St. Augustine, Florida the real Brooke Hernandez? Or am I merely getting a costume?
You probably don't know who I am. That's okay. Nobody else does, either. All you know about me is that I'm an office nerd who can probably bench press your max squat for reps. You know me as Helpdesk. And Helpdesk is who I am.
But you also know that there is a real human being inside of this Perry Ellis shirt and suspenders. You may have even went down the rabbit hole and discovered who that human being is. If you have, then you are well aware of what you're facing.
You know that Helpdesk is a costume, and that the real me is not the one you want to get in there with. That person is reckless and dangerous.
Be thankful, Brooke. Be thankful that I'm in this suit carrying a laptop. Be thankful I brought eveyone some of their favorite candy. Yes, even Johnny Stylez. Be thankful that I've chosen to come to EPW in costume, and that I'm planning on staying in it long after we wake up on November 1st.
Be thankful that I'll be coming into that ring with a good heart, just trying to let the world know that there is help out there. If anyone needs anyrhing, I will do my best for them. Because if you knew who I really was, you'd know that I wasn't always like this. You'd know that there was once a time I would have burned the world down for a cheeseburger.
Halloween might be my new favorite holiday. It's symbolic of what it means for me to become Helpdesk. It is me assuming the avatar of another as my own.
Brooke, I sincerely hope that whoever you aspire to be…that you one day become that person. Just this once, I will give you a pass if I don't get the real you on Thursday night. You're still figuring it out, just like me.
But everything goes away once that bell rings. Once that happens, we have no choice but to be ourselves. Whether you call me Helpdesk, or you call me by my real name, the wrestler you will be wrestling will stay the same. The costume comes off once we lock up.
And I know who I am when that happens.
Do you?
Because if you don't, I'll be more than happy to show you.
Remember, I'm here to help.
—
“Good afternoon, Helpdesk speaking.”
The video for this section is merely a soundwave of two participants on a monitored call. One of the participants is muted, but their wavelengths are still visible.
“Yes. I am my own secretary. This is a one man operation.”
A handful of brief peaks appear, but are silent for the viewer.
“Just a guy with a laptop pretending to be somebody. That's exactly right.”
Four silent peaks.
“Yeah, well, that ship has sailed. I did so much damage to my reputation, going by my real name is career suicide.”
Two peaks.
“Well, gimmicks have always been a cornerstone of this business. I knew a little bit about office stuff after working that one job for a while, so I thought why the hell not?”
“Because this shit is in my blood. I can't stay away from this business.”
Roughly fourteen peaks appear next.
“I know. I know someone is eventually going to tell the world who I really am. I'm ready for that.”
Another handful of peaks, this time with a brief pause between.
“I don't care. I just want to get in the ring. Everything else is whatever. They can have the politics and the drama.”
This series of wavelengths lasts for a few seconds longer than the others. It is abruptly interrupted by the agitated voice of Helpdesk.
“What the fuck do you mean, someone's already outed me? They called you instead of calling the dirt sheets? How the fuck did they even get your number? ”
Some very quiet feedback can be heard now, almost in the inflection of a person speaking. A very good ear may have even heard the phrase “you've both got nothing to lose.”
”....yeah. Tell her I'm down to talk.”
The video abruptly ends.
Halloween is a special time of the year for many people. For some, this is a holiday of fear. For others, a day of celebration. But one of the most central traditions of All Hallow's Eve is without a doubt the practice of “trick or treating”.
This is a unique moment in which it allows an individual to fully embrace the persona of another, a living caricature of impersonation. Who do you want to be, kid? For one day a year, you get to be them. You can dress like them, talk like them, act like them, and be treated like them.
Halloween is a day of dishonesty without consequence. While you may pretend to be somebody else, you are still you. Even your impersonation will have elements of your own persona. More than likely, you've even informed your acquaintances of your choice of costume, and they all knee what and who to look for.
You didn't mislead anybody into believing you were somebody you aren't. Most of the time, that gets you into trouble. If you try to be somebody you're not, the world will see right through it. Brooke Hernandez, I hope I'm not speaking out of line when I speak to you clearly, outside of my role as an Internal Relations Agent and just as one human being to another.
Is the Brooke Hernandez I will meet in St. Augustine, Florida the real Brooke Hernandez? Or am I merely getting a costume?
You probably don't know who I am. That's okay. Nobody else does, either. All you know about me is that I'm an office nerd who can probably bench press your max squat for reps. You know me as Helpdesk. And Helpdesk is who I am.
But you also know that there is a real human being inside of this Perry Ellis shirt and suspenders. You may have even went down the rabbit hole and discovered who that human being is. If you have, then you are well aware of what you're facing.
You know that Helpdesk is a costume, and that the real me is not the one you want to get in there with. That person is reckless and dangerous.
Be thankful, Brooke. Be thankful that I'm in this suit carrying a laptop. Be thankful I brought eveyone some of their favorite candy. Yes, even Johnny Stylez. Be thankful that I've chosen to come to EPW in costume, and that I'm planning on staying in it long after we wake up on November 1st.
Be thankful that I'll be coming into that ring with a good heart, just trying to let the world know that there is help out there. If anyone needs anyrhing, I will do my best for them. Because if you knew who I really was, you'd know that I wasn't always like this. You'd know that there was once a time I would have burned the world down for a cheeseburger.
Halloween might be my new favorite holiday. It's symbolic of what it means for me to become Helpdesk. It is me assuming the avatar of another as my own.
Brooke, I sincerely hope that whoever you aspire to be…that you one day become that person. Just this once, I will give you a pass if I don't get the real you on Thursday night. You're still figuring it out, just like me.
But everything goes away once that bell rings. Once that happens, we have no choice but to be ourselves. Whether you call me Helpdesk, or you call me by my real name, the wrestler you will be wrestling will stay the same. The costume comes off once we lock up.
And I know who I am when that happens.
Do you?
Because if you don't, I'll be more than happy to show you.
Remember, I'm here to help.
—
“Good afternoon, Helpdesk speaking.”
The video for this section is merely a soundwave of two participants on a monitored call. One of the participants is muted, but their wavelengths are still visible.
“Yes. I am my own secretary. This is a one man operation.”
A handful of brief peaks appear, but are silent for the viewer.
“Just a guy with a laptop pretending to be somebody. That's exactly right.”
Four silent peaks.
“Yeah, well, that ship has sailed. I did so much damage to my reputation, going by my real name is career suicide.”
Two peaks.
“Well, gimmicks have always been a cornerstone of this business. I knew a little bit about office stuff after working that one job for a while, so I thought why the hell not?”
“Because this shit is in my blood. I can't stay away from this business.”
Roughly fourteen peaks appear next.
“I know. I know someone is eventually going to tell the world who I really am. I'm ready for that.”
Another handful of peaks, this time with a brief pause between.
“I don't care. I just want to get in the ring. Everything else is whatever. They can have the politics and the drama.”
This series of wavelengths lasts for a few seconds longer than the others. It is abruptly interrupted by the agitated voice of Helpdesk.
“What the fuck do you mean, someone's already outed me? They called you instead of calling the dirt sheets? How the fuck did they even get your number? ”
Some very quiet feedback can be heard now, almost in the inflection of a person speaking. A very good ear may have even heard the phrase “you've both got nothing to lose.”
”....yeah. Tell her I'm down to talk.”
The video abruptly ends.