Post by jestyrseryous on Nov 19, 2024 22:28:34 GMT -5
Capello jolted awake to the blaring, thrashing riffs of Amon Amarth, their screeching guitars slicing through her sleep like a razor. She groaned, burying her head deeper into her pillow, but the ringing only grew louder, pulsing against her eardrums. It was still dark, early enough that even the streetlights outside cast a dull, gray haze through her curtains. She reached blindly, fingers scrambling over the nightstand, until they finally landed on the buzzing, glowing screen.
She was going from tired to agitated as she just answered the call.
Cap: Whaaaaaaaaaat? Its so fucking early….
Hey it’s me, I didn’t wake you did I?...HAHA just phuckin wichita, wake the PHUCK UP we needa have a LiL CHAT!!!
Cap:…….Who gave you this number…I KNOW I didn’t…..uggh….what do you want? I’m on vacation still…yeah lets call it that.
Look Cappy just because you have a VaGiNa doesn’t mean you need to act like one. It’s time for you to bring your ass back to work! Like yesterday! We’ve lots and lots of work to do!
Cap: Well this is already annoying….so….
Capello tossed her phone back onto the bed, its screen fading out as it fell among the tangled sheets. She rubbed her temples, fighting the urge to scream into the silence of her half-settled apartment. Vacation, she’d said, though in reality, it was more like forced leave—a break she’d been needing long before they made it official. Apparently, that time was already up.
With a resigned sigh, she dragged herself out of bed and looked around the chaos she’d barely begun to tame. Half-empty boxes were scattered across the floor, a testament to her laziness when it comes to moving. Somewhere in the mess was a half drank energy drink she was determined to find as she calls Je$ back.
Cap: I’m ONLY calling back since you won’t leave me be…what do you want.
I wanna know who you voted for…NO clearly I want your help EL-CaP-E-TaNO! I know the Britt Baylor sized migraine in your head is something you are trying to perhaps distance yourself from at present I’m here to tell ya it’s not something thats just gunna go AWAY if you GO AWAY! It’s something that needs to be dealt with as quickly as possible, and like I done told ya a million times this is a problem we could solve much quicker pooling our efforts than otherwise! SO get up, get the sand and glass out of your Va-JaGe…and come back to work! And let’s MoP uP THi$ MeSS once and for all….COME ON you can’t tell me your fists aren’t begging you to pound someone! I f’n KNOW you !
Capello clenched her jaw, staring into the dim, cluttered room as Je$’s words sank in. He wasn’t wrong. The urge to hit something—someone—had been creeping back, itching beneath her skin. Trying to distance herself from it had only made it worse, gnawing at her with every idle moment. She closed her eyes, exhaling slowly.
“Fine, fine,” she muttered, her voice dropping to a cold resolve. “You know what? You’re right. I’ve got plenty of rage bottled up, and I’m more than ready to vent it on…well everyone.”
…NoW THeRe’Z My WoR$T FRiEnD EVER!!! So it’s a date then?
Keep the word date when it involves me and you out of your vocabulary ehhhh almost as bad as Dumbass Harris or Cuck Newton. Speaking of that failure of a company….anything actually interesting going on?
Please, don’t flatter yourself! ANd yes of course it seems Britt is trying to build herself a tag division and well that just means…well hopefully at this point in the convo…YoU KNoW WHaT THaT MeaNZ!
….That you want to beg me to tag team with you…fine fine just send me your location not like I have anything else to do.
OK perfect guess we’ll see you and your shitty attitude here shortly! Don’t worry this is gunna be fun…You do remember fun dontcha?...Ya know what don’t answer that! HAHA…See ya soon ya silly BIATCH!!!
…Man she’s such a BITCH sometimes! But then again it is three am! So WHATEVER! We got places to be, things to break, ya know
Scene opens on a not so busy street in downtown Memphis Tennessee, the very same town Danger will emanate live from in just a few short days. We notice the several neon lights illuminating the several names and brands of this thriving downtown metropolis, and yet while this street isn’t particularly known for supporting Memphis’s thriving and infamous brand of night life there is one such establishment on this very street that seems to fit the niche in its own sort of way. A little after hours local coffee shop known as
But see here is the thing about The Renaissance not only is it a practical breeding ground for some of the worst people presently inhabiting the streets of Memphis Tennessee (millenials EW), but in addition to being an overpriced coffee shop it also happens to serve as what some people refer to as an art gallery, as we can see for ourselves with the over sculpted sculptures and lazy abstract paintings hanging in the tacky windows. But don’t worry you’ll get more than a full dose of just how bad some of this shit is when we go inside, but for the moment our attention is diverted outside as across the street from this establishment where we see a black Impala with the trunk open and a very familiar painted face fumbling around the back as if frantically trying to locate something.
Looking dapper as always in his purple suit and his blue hair slicked all the way back, we see the smoke from his cigarette hanging from his lips rising and vanishing into thin air as we see his hands busy at work moving thrings all around as he continues searching for…
AH-HA…THERE YOU ARE!!!
THen with both hands he lifts up a brand new black shovel with a black spade that has the words HA HA HA crudely painted in white all over it. He holds it up and kisses the back of it but then damn near jumps out of his skin when he hears a familiar voice call out to him from behind…
What in the hell do you have a shovel out for? Finally get rid of that ditzy little girlfriend of yours? Whats her name…Jules…..Juniper…..Joanna…eh who gives a fuck….what the hell is that…
Alessia would point behind him into the frou frou coffee shop at some blue haired creature topping some overly sugary “coffee” beverage with sprinkles.
What bullshit are you getting me into Je$ I only drink my coffee black with 2 sugar cubes….
She would step over to the Impala and smirk as she sees a few “toys” for the choosing and decides to go with a sledgehammer.
I think im picking up the plan….
Jeez LoUi$e CaPPy, don’t sound like you need any coffee…all them got damn questions and statements flyin around kinda sounds like you gave yourself a caffeine enema on the flight over…You didn’t did you cause that would be….yeah NoNe oF My Bu$iNeSS!!! But ya know what?
Now you don’t think I called you all the way out here for nothin didja? Because incase you already forgot my dear I did promise you fun…DID I NOT? And well what’s funner than beating up a bunch of Millenial FUCK RAGZ?...BaMMMPPPP TIMEZ Up, the KoRReCT An$WeR IZ!!!
…So sledge hammer huh? NICE CALL!!!
You never did say anything about whoever it was in this tag match nonsense you had in mind…what is the deal with that?
Cap would casually slam the sledgehammer into the window of some fucks electric car the glass shattering with a stratifying crunch.
Ohhh right HAHAHA I almost completely phuckin forgot, forgive me dealing with THE CUNT has my mind all…Well you know! Anyway! It’s kinda why I asked you to meet me here!
Je$TyR follows Cap’s lead on this one as he walks around the front of the electric car lifts his shovel and with everything he’s got slams it down ontop of the windshield
…and then goes on talking like they just didn’t completely mutilate this poor bastard’s car.
So yeah these two dildo’s we’re facing they aren’t terribly dissimilar from the twats in this coffee shop we are about to ransack! Self absorbed, entitled, and
…Trust me you’ll HATE THEM!!!
Cap scoffed, watching Je$ smash the car with an almost artistic fervor. She hefted the sledgehammer again, turning to him with a sly grin.
“Oh, trust me—I already do.” With another swing, she took out the side window, glass flying everywhere. “They’re just like these latte-sipping brats in there, huh? Sounds like they’ll need more than an iced coffee to recover when we’re done.”
Just then, the door of the coffee shop swung open, and a young guy stepped out, clutching his fancy drink. He looked on in horror as the two of them continued their destruction, mouth agape. “Hey! What the hell are you doing to my car?!”
Je$ and Cap exchanged a glance, both grinning like wolves.
Je$TyR then turned with a jerk towards the growing crowd of people who are all rubbernecking trying to get a view of the chaos and carnage like the half wits they are, as Je$TyR points his shovel in their direction and starts doin that thing he does…
YOU…MaTTeR oF FACT EVERYONE BACK INSIDE…
CoMe On KIDZ we’re phuckin burnin MOONLIGHT HEAH!!!
But of course there ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYYYZZZZZ has to be some kinda wise guy huh? Apparently the dude who this stupid Prius belonged to wasn’t ready to go back inside, eventhough we would have answered his ?’s the moment we got inside, but oh well this shit’s on him.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO ASSHOLES DOIN TO MY…
BOYZ and GIRLZ incase I was in anyway UNCLEAR…I SAID GET YOUR FUCKIN ASSES INSIDE…
Now if it was me, I woulda ran, but all these fuckin BUSTERZ herded inside like sheep they are much to me and CaPPy’s DeLiGHT! We all walk inside the butthole of Memphis nightlife and just the sight of all this crappy art on the wall and on display was almost as sickening as the shitty new age tecno music blaring in the background. Before I address the masses I needed this shit to stop like 5 mins ago, so I walk over to the table where the DJ was set up and I ask him…
How do you make it STOP?
…and before he could answer
Now with that sorted we can begin…
Ladies a…Well BOYZ AND GIRLZ! It came to our attention that tonight is supposed to be a very special evening here at your little caffeine watering hole! Because not only are we open late on a SCHOOL NIGHT, but also tonight was supposed to be an ART SHOW! Well looking around the room I can’t say I see much art, but my WORST FRIEND EVER here and I had to come check it out for ourselves. Now I am going to come around and I need you all to place your cell phones in the bag, while my friend Cappy tells you a little bit more as to why we have graced you with our presence here this evening…CAP, if you’d be so kind!
Cap smirked as Je$ worked the crowd, her eyes scanning over the sea of anxious, confused faces. She hoisted the sledgehammer onto her shoulder and stepped forward, her voice booming through the silence that had settled after she smashed the DJ’s laptop.
“Alright, listen up, all you wannabe free-thinkers and so-called ‘artists.’ Take a good look at yourselves.” She gestured around, her voice laced with disgust. “This—this little gathering of yours? It’s a joke. You all think you’re so damn unique, sitting here, sipping your over-sweetened crap, talking about ‘changing the world.’ Meanwhile, you wouldn’t know what real freedom looked like if it smashed you in the face. Newsflash—you’re sheep, following every trend, every empty word they feed you like mindless drones.”
She sneered, taking a few steps forward, glaring into the eyes of the crowd. “You latch onto whatever the loudest voice tells you to believe, whether it’s on your little screens or in some pretentious article that does your thinking for you. None of you have the guts to actually break out, to do something real, to live for something that matters. You just follow along, letting someone else dictate every move, every thought, every belief. You’re too scared to face reality, too afraid to get your hands dirty.”
Cap’s voice grew more intense, her grip tightening on the sledgehammer. “Well, tonight’s your wake-up call. Life isn’t about playing it safe or keeping quiet so you can keep fitting in. It’s about standing up, fighting back, breaking the mold even if it makes you the outcast. Maybe if one of you had the guts to stand up to us right now, I’d actually have some respect.”
She looked around, daring someone to make a move. “But something tells me, like the good little sheep you are, you’ll just keep standing here, waiting for someone else to tell you what to do. Go on, hand over those phones to Je$. You’ll thank us later.”
As the clown grabs the last of the phones he joins his partner in the center of the room just as she finishes…
…VeRy WeLL SAID MY DEAR, now I’d just like to add I regret to inform you all that not only are you phuck knucklez NOT gettin your phuckin phones back, but also that this alleged art show is over for pretty much the same reason…Because you don’t deserve them back. It’s your instagram warped views to call the most simplistic and shallow shit art when it’s not. Its clear and utter
Je$TyR SeRyOu$ then reaches in his pocket and removes a .45 pistol points it in the air and fires off a round.
…and LoL LOOK AT EM SCATTER!!!
Capello sneered as the bullet’s echo faded, watching the crowd scramble for the doors in a frantic wave of fear. She felt the weight of the sledgehammer on her shoulder, her grip tightening as she walked towards the center of the room. The chaotic clatter of chairs overturning and hurried footsteps filled the café, but it was music to her ears.
“Well, looks like they’ve got a little fight in them after all,” she muttered under her breath, her smirk growing as her eyes darted to the garish sculptures and obnoxiously abstract paintings adorning the walls. With deliberate steps, she moved towards the nearest sculpture—a spiraling mess of metal rods glued together with little more than hot glue and arrogance.
“This is what passes for art these days?” she called out, raising the hammer high above her head. With one swift, brutal swing, the sledgehammer connected with the sculpture, sending shards of twisted metal scattering across the floor. “I’ve seen better craftsmanship from a toddler with a crayon.”
She turned to the few who hadn’t fled—either too stunned or too stupid to leave—and pointed the sledgehammer at them. “This is what happens when you settle for mediocrity, when you let trends define who you are. You get this—garbage parading as creativity.”
Cap slammed the sledgehammer into another sculpture, a ceramic monstrosity that shattered into a thousand pieces with a single strike. “Wake up! Life isn’t about playing it safe or sticking to the herd. It’s about taking risks, breaking free from the bullshit, and finding something real.”
The café was now littered with the remnants of what once passed for “art,” a graveyard of shattered egos and broken dreams. Cap tilted her head back and laughed, the sound guttural and raw.
Capello gave Je$ a look that bordered on mischievous, then pulled a metal gas can from her duffle bag. With a flick of her wrist, she unscrewed the cap and began tilting the container, letting the pungent liquid slosh out onto the floor.
“NOW we’re setting the tone for these cowards tonight,” she muttered, pacing deliberately as she poured the gasoline in wide arcs. The sharp smell filled the café, mingling with the lingering scents of burnt coffee and overpriced pastries.
She moved toward the counter, dragging the stream of fuel across the polished wood as she went. The sound of liquid splashing against the floor was hypnotic, almost rhythmic, as Cap’s pace quickened. With each step, her grin grew wider, and her eyes gleamed with unrestrained chaos.
“Let’s see them try to forget this little performance,” she said, tossing a casual glance over her shoulder at Je$. “Bet they’ll be talking about this night for years. Might even inspire some real art for a change.”
Capello emptied the last of the gasoline near the door, the puddle glistening in the dim light. She shook the can to make sure it was truly empty, then tossed it carelessly to the side, the clang echoing through the nearly empty café.
Her gaze swept the room one last time, taking in the destruction. The shattered sculptures, the gasoline-soaked floor, the scattered remnants of frightened patrons—it was perfection.
“Alright, Je$,” she said, her voice low but buzzing with anticipation. “Moment of truth. Light it up, or should I do the honors?”
…Well wait hold on a sec BReaKy McBReaKeR$oN…don’t you think we should…
Je$TyR nods in the camera’s general direction as Cap rolls her eyes and says clearly annoyed…
Oh for fucks sake can you make it quick at least? This place is THE WORST!!!
Yes yes, of course of course…
I truly hope the irony of this entire situation isn’t lost on either of you, because Cap and I saw you two fuggin BOZO’z walk into our company a lil over two weeks ago and then we heard you two start talkin. Now I need you two Herc and Apollo HA stupid phuckin names…But anyway I need you two to take a good
Cause well the simple fact of the matter is not only do you see a shitload of art that isn’t really, where it actually belongs, but you also see two people who truly and fully understand the value and importance of gimmicks but when it comes to the subject of you two shitbirdz
ANd here is why assholes, real art…I’m talking TRUE ART comes from actual pain and suffering, and you two phuckin MoRoNZ may not understand that in the slightest right now but rest assured after Danger has come and gone that is a lesson you will never ever phuckin forget after the WoR$T FRiENDZ EVeR, beat you up, bash you up and force youz to
…which should conclude your art lesson for the…Well for the rest of your natural born lives! SO yeah CAP we can go now you’re right this place totally blowz!!!
Je$TyR then reaches in his pocket and pulls out a pack of waterproof matches and tosses one to cap, he opens up his hand revealing another pack in his hand. He uses his hand to motion as he counts…1….2….3 they then drop their matches in the garbage cans as the same time. It doesn’t take long for the flames to come roaring out of the can as the scene cuts outside to the two walking to the black Impala. They get in and close the doors and the moment the doors shut…
…Ohh wait but don’t forget
…It’s BeeN YoUR PLea$uRE!!!
She was going from tired to agitated as she just answered the call.
Cap: Whaaaaaaaaaat? Its so fucking early….
Hey it’s me, I didn’t wake you did I?...HAHA just phuckin wichita, wake the PHUCK UP we needa have a LiL CHAT!!!
Cap:…….Who gave you this number…I KNOW I didn’t…..uggh….what do you want? I’m on vacation still…yeah lets call it that.
Look Cappy just because you have a VaGiNa doesn’t mean you need to act like one. It’s time for you to bring your ass back to work! Like yesterday! We’ve lots and lots of work to do!
Cap: Well this is already annoying….so….
CLICK
With a resigned sigh, she dragged herself out of bed and looked around the chaos she’d barely begun to tame. Half-empty boxes were scattered across the floor, a testament to her laziness when it comes to moving. Somewhere in the mess was a half drank energy drink she was determined to find as she calls Je$ back.
Cap: I’m ONLY calling back since you won’t leave me be…what do you want.
I wanna know who you voted for…NO clearly I want your help EL-CaP-E-TaNO! I know the Britt Baylor sized migraine in your head is something you are trying to perhaps distance yourself from at present I’m here to tell ya it’s not something thats just gunna go AWAY if you GO AWAY! It’s something that needs to be dealt with as quickly as possible, and like I done told ya a million times this is a problem we could solve much quicker pooling our efforts than otherwise! SO get up, get the sand and glass out of your Va-JaGe…and come back to work! And let’s MoP uP THi$ MeSS once and for all….COME ON you can’t tell me your fists aren’t begging you to pound someone! I f’n KNOW you !
Capello clenched her jaw, staring into the dim, cluttered room as Je$’s words sank in. He wasn’t wrong. The urge to hit something—someone—had been creeping back, itching beneath her skin. Trying to distance herself from it had only made it worse, gnawing at her with every idle moment. She closed her eyes, exhaling slowly.
“Fine, fine,” she muttered, her voice dropping to a cold resolve. “You know what? You’re right. I’ve got plenty of rage bottled up, and I’m more than ready to vent it on…well everyone.”
…NoW THeRe’Z My WoR$T FRiEnD EVER!!! So it’s a date then?
Keep the word date when it involves me and you out of your vocabulary ehhhh almost as bad as Dumbass Harris or Cuck Newton. Speaking of that failure of a company….anything actually interesting going on?
Please, don’t flatter yourself! ANd yes of course it seems Britt is trying to build herself a tag division and well that just means…well hopefully at this point in the convo…YoU KNoW WHaT THaT MeaNZ!
….That you want to beg me to tag team with you…fine fine just send me your location not like I have anything else to do.
OK perfect guess we’ll see you and your shitty attitude here shortly! Don’t worry this is gunna be fun…You do remember fun dontcha?...Ya know what don’t answer that! HAHA…See ya soon ya silly BIATCH!!!
*CLICK
…Man she’s such a BITCH sometimes! But then again it is three am! So WHATEVER! We got places to be, things to break, ya know
~$~ W.F.E. ~$~
KiNNa SHIT!!!! Yall STICK AROUND!!!
…A day or three later
~!~ “THE RENAISSANCE” ~!~
…YEAH WE THINK THE NAME IS LAME TOO!!!!
But see here is the thing about The Renaissance not only is it a practical breeding ground for some of the worst people presently inhabiting the streets of Memphis Tennessee (millenials EW), but in addition to being an overpriced coffee shop it also happens to serve as what some people refer to as an art gallery, as we can see for ourselves with the over sculpted sculptures and lazy abstract paintings hanging in the tacky windows. But don’t worry you’ll get more than a full dose of just how bad some of this shit is when we go inside, but for the moment our attention is diverted outside as across the street from this establishment where we see a black Impala with the trunk open and a very familiar painted face fumbling around the back as if frantically trying to locate something.
Looking dapper as always in his purple suit and his blue hair slicked all the way back, we see the smoke from his cigarette hanging from his lips rising and vanishing into thin air as we see his hands busy at work moving thrings all around as he continues searching for…
AH-HA…THERE YOU ARE!!!
THen with both hands he lifts up a brand new black shovel with a black spade that has the words HA HA HA crudely painted in white all over it. He holds it up and kisses the back of it but then damn near jumps out of his skin when he hears a familiar voice call out to him from behind…
What in the hell do you have a shovel out for? Finally get rid of that ditzy little girlfriend of yours? Whats her name…Jules…..Juniper…..Joanna…eh who gives a fuck….what the hell is that…
Alessia would point behind him into the frou frou coffee shop at some blue haired creature topping some overly sugary “coffee” beverage with sprinkles.
What bullshit are you getting me into Je$ I only drink my coffee black with 2 sugar cubes….
She would step over to the Impala and smirk as she sees a few “toys” for the choosing and decides to go with a sledgehammer.
I think im picking up the plan….
Jeez LoUi$e CaPPy, don’t sound like you need any coffee…all them got damn questions and statements flyin around kinda sounds like you gave yourself a caffeine enema on the flight over…You didn’t did you cause that would be….yeah NoNe oF My Bu$iNeSS!!! But ya know what?
!!!!!NeVeRMiND!!!!!
LeT’S TaLK ABoUT THo$e OUTSTANDING PoWeRZ oF OB$eRVaTioN YOU JUST DiSPLaYeD!!!
Now you don’t think I called you all the way out here for nothin didja? Because incase you already forgot my dear I did promise you fun…DID I NOT? And well what’s funner than beating up a bunch of Millenial FUCK RAGZ?...BaMMMPPPP TIMEZ Up, the KoRReCT An$WeR IZ!!!
~!$!~BEATING THEM UP~!$!~
… AND BREAKING THEIR SHIT!!!
…So sledge hammer huh? NICE CALL!!!
You never did say anything about whoever it was in this tag match nonsense you had in mind…what is the deal with that?
Cap would casually slam the sledgehammer into the window of some fucks electric car the glass shattering with a stratifying crunch.
Ohhh right HAHAHA I almost completely phuckin forgot, forgive me dealing with THE CUNT has my mind all…Well you know! Anyway! It’s kinda why I asked you to meet me here!
Je$TyR follows Cap’s lead on this one as he walks around the front of the electric car lifts his shovel and with everything he’s got slams it down ontop of the windshield
!!!!!CRACCCKKKK!!!!!
…AND THEN AGAIN AND AGAIN
…and then goes on talking like they just didn’t completely mutilate this poor bastard’s car.
So yeah these two dildo’s we’re facing they aren’t terribly dissimilar from the twats in this coffee shop we are about to ransack! Self absorbed, entitled, and
!!!!DeLu$ioNaL as PHUCK!!!!
SO DAMN IGnoRaNT IT’S A SHAME THEY BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS US!!!
…Trust me you’ll HATE THEM!!!
Cap scoffed, watching Je$ smash the car with an almost artistic fervor. She hefted the sledgehammer again, turning to him with a sly grin.
“Oh, trust me—I already do.” With another swing, she took out the side window, glass flying everywhere. “They’re just like these latte-sipping brats in there, huh? Sounds like they’ll need more than an iced coffee to recover when we’re done.”
Just then, the door of the coffee shop swung open, and a young guy stepped out, clutching his fancy drink. He looked on in horror as the two of them continued their destruction, mouth agape. “Hey! What the hell are you doing to my car?!”
Je$ and Cap exchanged a glance, both grinning like wolves.
Je$TyR then turned with a jerk towards the growing crowd of people who are all rubbernecking trying to get a view of the chaos and carnage like the half wits they are, as Je$TyR points his shovel in their direction and starts doin that thing he does…
YOU…MaTTeR oF FACT EVERYONE BACK INSIDE…
!!!!!N.O.W.!!!!!
WE NEEDA HAVE A LiL CHAT!!!
CoMe On KIDZ we’re phuckin burnin MOONLIGHT HEAH!!!
But of course there ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYYYZZZZZ has to be some kinda wise guy huh? Apparently the dude who this stupid Prius belonged to wasn’t ready to go back inside, eventhough we would have answered his ?’s the moment we got inside, but oh well this shit’s on him.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO ASSHOLES DOIN TO MY…
!!!!!CLUNK!!!!
…IS THE SOUND MY SHOVEL MAKES ON HIS FACE HAHA!!!
BOYZ and GIRLZ incase I was in anyway UNCLEAR…I SAID GET YOUR FUCKIN ASSES INSIDE…
!!!!RIGHT MEOW!!!!
…LIKE RIGHT NOW, R-I-G-H-T N-O-W!!!
Now if it was me, I woulda ran, but all these fuckin BUSTERZ herded inside like sheep they are much to me and CaPPy’s DeLiGHT! We all walk inside the butthole of Memphis nightlife and just the sight of all this crappy art on the wall and on display was almost as sickening as the shitty new age tecno music blaring in the background. Before I address the masses I needed this shit to stop like 5 mins ago, so I walk over to the table where the DJ was set up and I ask him…
How do you make it STOP?
…and before he could answer
!!!!!SMASH!!!!!
…IS THE SOUND CAP’S SLEDGE HAMMER MAKES AS IT CRASHES INTO FUCK BOY’Z LAPTOP HEHE!!!
Now with that sorted we can begin…
Ladies a…Well BOYZ AND GIRLZ! It came to our attention that tonight is supposed to be a very special evening here at your little caffeine watering hole! Because not only are we open late on a SCHOOL NIGHT, but also tonight was supposed to be an ART SHOW! Well looking around the room I can’t say I see much art, but my WORST FRIEND EVER here and I had to come check it out for ourselves. Now I am going to come around and I need you all to place your cell phones in the bag, while my friend Cappy tells you a little bit more as to why we have graced you with our presence here this evening…CAP, if you’d be so kind!
Cap smirked as Je$ worked the crowd, her eyes scanning over the sea of anxious, confused faces. She hoisted the sledgehammer onto her shoulder and stepped forward, her voice booming through the silence that had settled after she smashed the DJ’s laptop.
“Alright, listen up, all you wannabe free-thinkers and so-called ‘artists.’ Take a good look at yourselves.” She gestured around, her voice laced with disgust. “This—this little gathering of yours? It’s a joke. You all think you’re so damn unique, sitting here, sipping your over-sweetened crap, talking about ‘changing the world.’ Meanwhile, you wouldn’t know what real freedom looked like if it smashed you in the face. Newsflash—you’re sheep, following every trend, every empty word they feed you like mindless drones.”
She sneered, taking a few steps forward, glaring into the eyes of the crowd. “You latch onto whatever the loudest voice tells you to believe, whether it’s on your little screens or in some pretentious article that does your thinking for you. None of you have the guts to actually break out, to do something real, to live for something that matters. You just follow along, letting someone else dictate every move, every thought, every belief. You’re too scared to face reality, too afraid to get your hands dirty.”
Cap’s voice grew more intense, her grip tightening on the sledgehammer. “Well, tonight’s your wake-up call. Life isn’t about playing it safe or keeping quiet so you can keep fitting in. It’s about standing up, fighting back, breaking the mold even if it makes you the outcast. Maybe if one of you had the guts to stand up to us right now, I’d actually have some respect.”
She looked around, daring someone to make a move. “But something tells me, like the good little sheep you are, you’ll just keep standing here, waiting for someone else to tell you what to do. Go on, hand over those phones to Je$. You’ll thank us later.”
As the clown grabs the last of the phones he joins his partner in the center of the room just as she finishes…
…VeRy WeLL SAID MY DEAR, now I’d just like to add I regret to inform you all that not only are you phuck knucklez NOT gettin your phuckin phones back, but also that this alleged art show is over for pretty much the same reason…Because you don’t deserve them back. It’s your instagram warped views to call the most simplistic and shallow shit art when it’s not. Its clear and utter
!!!!!F’N GaRBaGe!!!!
SO LiKe I SAID…SHOWZ OVeR…GET THE PHUCK OUT!!!
Je$TyR SeRyOu$ then reaches in his pocket and removes a .45 pistol points it in the air and fires off a round.
!!!!BAM!!!!
…AND THAT’S WHEN THEY SCATTER!!!
…and LoL LOOK AT EM SCATTER!!!
Capello sneered as the bullet’s echo faded, watching the crowd scramble for the doors in a frantic wave of fear. She felt the weight of the sledgehammer on her shoulder, her grip tightening as she walked towards the center of the room. The chaotic clatter of chairs overturning and hurried footsteps filled the café, but it was music to her ears.
“Well, looks like they’ve got a little fight in them after all,” she muttered under her breath, her smirk growing as her eyes darted to the garish sculptures and obnoxiously abstract paintings adorning the walls. With deliberate steps, she moved towards the nearest sculpture—a spiraling mess of metal rods glued together with little more than hot glue and arrogance.
“This is what passes for art these days?” she called out, raising the hammer high above her head. With one swift, brutal swing, the sledgehammer connected with the sculpture, sending shards of twisted metal scattering across the floor. “I’ve seen better craftsmanship from a toddler with a crayon.”
She turned to the few who hadn’t fled—either too stunned or too stupid to leave—and pointed the sledgehammer at them. “This is what happens when you settle for mediocrity, when you let trends define who you are. You get this—garbage parading as creativity.”
Cap slammed the sledgehammer into another sculpture, a ceramic monstrosity that shattered into a thousand pieces with a single strike. “Wake up! Life isn’t about playing it safe or sticking to the herd. It’s about taking risks, breaking free from the bullshit, and finding something real.”
The café was now littered with the remnants of what once passed for “art,” a graveyard of shattered egos and broken dreams. Cap tilted her head back and laughed, the sound guttural and raw.
Capello gave Je$ a look that bordered on mischievous, then pulled a metal gas can from her duffle bag. With a flick of her wrist, she unscrewed the cap and began tilting the container, letting the pungent liquid slosh out onto the floor.
“NOW we’re setting the tone for these cowards tonight,” she muttered, pacing deliberately as she poured the gasoline in wide arcs. The sharp smell filled the café, mingling with the lingering scents of burnt coffee and overpriced pastries.
She moved toward the counter, dragging the stream of fuel across the polished wood as she went. The sound of liquid splashing against the floor was hypnotic, almost rhythmic, as Cap’s pace quickened. With each step, her grin grew wider, and her eyes gleamed with unrestrained chaos.
“Let’s see them try to forget this little performance,” she said, tossing a casual glance over her shoulder at Je$. “Bet they’ll be talking about this night for years. Might even inspire some real art for a change.”
Capello emptied the last of the gasoline near the door, the puddle glistening in the dim light. She shook the can to make sure it was truly empty, then tossed it carelessly to the side, the clang echoing through the nearly empty café.
Her gaze swept the room one last time, taking in the destruction. The shattered sculptures, the gasoline-soaked floor, the scattered remnants of frightened patrons—it was perfection.
“Alright, Je$,” she said, her voice low but buzzing with anticipation. “Moment of truth. Light it up, or should I do the honors?”
…Well wait hold on a sec BReaKy McBReaKeR$oN…don’t you think we should…
Je$TyR nods in the camera’s general direction as Cap rolls her eyes and says clearly annoyed…
Oh for fucks sake can you make it quick at least? This place is THE WORST!!!
Yes yes, of course of course…
!!!!!AHEM!!!!
DEAR STUPID DICKHEADZ…I MEAN THE RENAISSANCE
I truly hope the irony of this entire situation isn’t lost on either of you, because Cap and I saw you two fuggin BOZO’z walk into our company a lil over two weeks ago and then we heard you two start talkin. Now I need you two Herc and Apollo HA stupid phuckin names…But anyway I need you two to take a good
!!!!F’N LOOK!!!!
AT EVERYTHING YOU SEE BEFORE YOU MMMKAY??
Cause well the simple fact of the matter is not only do you see a shitload of art that isn’t really, where it actually belongs, but you also see two people who truly and fully understand the value and importance of gimmicks but when it comes to the subject of you two shitbirdz
!!!!CoMe THE PHUCK ON!!!!
YOU TWO SUCK WORSE THAN THE ART IN THESE TRASHCANS!!
ANd here is why assholes, real art…I’m talking TRUE ART comes from actual pain and suffering, and you two phuckin MoRoNZ may not understand that in the slightest right now but rest assured after Danger has come and gone that is a lesson you will never ever phuckin forget after the WoR$T FRiENDZ EVeR, beat you up, bash you up and force youz to
!!!!SoaK!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!
!!!!!UP!!!!!
AND THEN PAINT THE ARENA RED WITH YOUR F’N INSIDEZ!!!
…which should conclude your art lesson for the…Well for the rest of your natural born lives! SO yeah CAP we can go now you’re right this place totally blowz!!!
Je$TyR then reaches in his pocket and pulls out a pack of waterproof matches and tosses one to cap, he opens up his hand revealing another pack in his hand. He uses his hand to motion as he counts…1….2….3 they then drop their matches in the garbage cans as the same time. It doesn’t take long for the flames to come roaring out of the can as the scene cuts outside to the two walking to the black Impala. They get in and close the doors and the moment the doors shut…
!!!BOOM!!!
…HAHA THAT WAS FUN!!!
…Ohh wait but don’t forget
…It’s BeeN YoUR PLea$uRE!!!
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??